- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
Since the Coronavirus tribulation has generated much social interest in the USA in trauma-resistance news-stories, this fictional/hypothetical bandit-tale asks the question, "Are we hungry for displacement news-stories?" What do you think (thanks for reading,)?
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"In this week's Coronavirus-era news, a man named Eleazar Satan, claiming he was a huge Algerian-American fan of the Kings (NHL) in LA (Los Angeles), turned out to be a master thief!"
"Well, we know the City of Angles is home to many peoples and colors, but we couldn't be prepared as newstellers of a fanboy turning out to be a skilled bank robber in our city of lights, folks!"
"Eleazar attended many LA Kings (NHL) games and took videos of himself cheering on the professional ice-hockey team and uploaded them on YouTube and Google!"
"However, Eleazar was all the while planning a diamond-heist of this ultimate LA Bank called the Federal Salt Institution (FSI), which holds on any given Saturday, over $80 million in diamonds!"
"Eleazar walked into the FSI in a Coronavirus mask and sunglasses and wielding an 'acid-gun' (a toy water-gun fitted with an internel glass tube containing corrosive HCL acid), claiming he was from a vault-security testing company with acid to determine the corrosion resistance of the metal of the vault itself, and once he gained unlimited access to the vault-room, he lifted the diamonds after holding the escorting guard hostage with his acid-gun!"
"Eleazar left a note for the Times to find which simply said, 'Diamonds are a dog's best friend'!"
"The LAPD believe this woman is the only one who knows where Eleazar Satan fled after his diamond heist of the FSI, since she was seen attending Kings (NHL) games with Eleazar, apparently while the two were dating in Los Angeles!"
"However, this young pretty woman has no idea or knowledge of Eleazar's connections with corrosive chemicals or whether he has ties to foreign terrorist cells possibly connected to ISIS or Cobra, so the investigation continues in LA!"
"Eleazar's ex-girlfriend believes Eleazar has fled to some remote island with his estranged daughter Danica to pass the time making Easter eggs with glitter, since that's the activity they shared in LA while they were living in a nice apartment in the West Coast city!"
"This concludes the unusual Times story of a modern-day master thief living in the City of Angels caught up in a diamond heist of the FSI indicating a dangerous urban trend in modern times regarding the infrastructural frailty of dollars...and NHL fanfare!"
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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"In this week's Coronavirus-era news, a man named Eleazar Satan, claiming he was a huge Algerian-American fan of the Kings (NHL) in LA (Los Angeles), turned out to be a master thief!"
"Well, we know the City of Angles is home to many peoples and colors, but we couldn't be prepared as newstellers of a fanboy turning out to be a skilled bank robber in our city of lights, folks!"
"Eleazar attended many LA Kings (NHL) games and took videos of himself cheering on the professional ice-hockey team and uploaded them on YouTube and Google!"
"However, Eleazar was all the while planning a diamond-heist of this ultimate LA Bank called the Federal Salt Institution (FSI), which holds on any given Saturday, over $80 million in diamonds!"
"Eleazar walked into the FSI in a Coronavirus mask and sunglasses and wielding an 'acid-gun' (a toy water-gun fitted with an internel glass tube containing corrosive HCL acid), claiming he was from a vault-security testing company with acid to determine the corrosion resistance of the metal of the vault itself, and once he gained unlimited access to the vault-room, he lifted the diamonds after holding the escorting guard hostage with his acid-gun!"
"Eleazar left a note for the Times to find which simply said, 'Diamonds are a dog's best friend'!"
"The LAPD believe this woman is the only one who knows where Eleazar Satan fled after his diamond heist of the FSI, since she was seen attending Kings (NHL) games with Eleazar, apparently while the two were dating in Los Angeles!"
"However, this young pretty woman has no idea or knowledge of Eleazar's connections with corrosive chemicals or whether he has ties to foreign terrorist cells possibly connected to ISIS or Cobra, so the investigation continues in LA!"
"Eleazar's ex-girlfriend believes Eleazar has fled to some remote island with his estranged daughter Danica to pass the time making Easter eggs with glitter, since that's the activity they shared in LA while they were living in a nice apartment in the West Coast city!"
"This concludes the unusual Times story of a modern-day master thief living in the City of Angels caught up in a diamond heist of the FSI indicating a dangerous urban trend in modern times regarding the infrastructural frailty of dollars...and NHL fanfare!"
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
