Kimmel's back!

[Delldude]

No, I am simply agreeing that Trump is funnier than Kimmel! It's true!

He should end all his weird ramblings with, "Thank you, I'll be here all week."

.

I love when He messes with the media.....they go bonkers.

 

[Cellblock2429]

This is true, actually. I agree.

The game show host should have stayed on television, and become a standup comic. Here are some of his best comedy bits:

"Smart people don't like me." - Donald Trump, experiencing a moment of clarity.


"Biden is not the sharpest bulb." - Donald Trump, the brightest knife in the drawer.



“We’re gonna get the drug prices down — not 30 or 40 percent, which would be great. Not 50 or 60, no. We’re gonna get them down 1,000 percent, 600 percent, 500 percent, 1,500 percent. Numbers that are not even thought to be achievable.” - Donald Trump, math wizard


Speaking to Modi: "It's not like you've got China on your border." - Donald Trump, ace diplomat

On Puerto Rico: "This is an island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water." - Donald Trump, geography teacher




“And you go, ‘person, woman, man, camera, TV.’ They say, ‘That’s amazing. How did you do that?’" - Donald Trump, amazing 5-word memorizer.

Trump actually believes this was an IQ test and that he aced it! I kid you not.




"So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light, and I think you said that hasn’t been checked, but you’re going to test it. And then I said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. And I think you said you’re going to test that too. Sounds interesting, right? And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning, because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs." - Donald Trump, epidemiologist


“When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases.” - Donald Trump, very stable genius


‘I don’t kid’: Trump says he wasn’t joking about slowing coronavirus testing

President Donald Trump on Tuesday insisted he was serious when he revealed that he had directed his administration to slow coronavirus testing in the United States, shattering the defenses of senior White House aides who argued Trump’s remarks were made in jest.

“I don’t kid. Let me just tell you. Let me make it clear,” Trump told reporters, when pressed on whether his comments at a campaign event Saturday in Tulsa, Okla., were intended as a joke.



"In 1917 they say, right? The great the great pandemic certainly was a terrible thing where they lost anywhere from fifty to a hundred million people. Probably ended the Second World War. All the soldiers were sick." - Donald Trump, lost in time.


"Think of it, magnets. Now all I know about magnets is this, give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that's the end of the magnets." - Donald Trump, physicist


So I said, “Let me ask you a question.” And he said, “Nobody ever asked this question, and it must be because of MIT, my relationship to MIT,” very smart. I say, “What would happen if the boat sank from its weight and you’re in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery’s underwater, and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there?” By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately. Do you notice that? A lot of shark… I watched some guys justifying it today. “Well, they weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they were not hungry, but they misunderstood who she was.” These people are crazy. He said, “There’s no problem with sharks. They just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming now who really got decimated and other people too,” a lot of shark attacks. So I said, “So there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards or here. Do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking, and water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted?” Because I will tell you he didn’t know the answer. He said, “Nobody’s ever asked me that question.” I said, “I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water.” But you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted, I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark. - Donald Trump, galeophobic



"So many mistakes were made. See, there was something I think could have been negotiated, to be honest with you. I think you could’ve negotiated that. All the people died, so many people died." - Donald Trump, Civil War historian


The Battle of Gettysburg. What an unbelievable — it was so much and so interesting, and so vicious and horrible, and so beautiful in so many different ways. It represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg, wow. - Donald Trump, Gettysburg Wow


“In June of 1775, the Continental Congress created a unified army out of the revolutionary forces encamped around Boston and New York, named after the great George Washington, commander in chief. The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis at Yorktown. Our army manned the air, it ranned the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory." - Donald Trump, American Revolution historian


"We have a lot of lumber. We freed it up, as you know, last week. We're freeing it up so that you can actually cut down a tree without being given the death penalty." - Donald Trump, forestry expert.


"An old fashioned term that we use, 'groceries.' I used it on the campaign. It's such an old-fashioned term, but a beautiful term. Groceries. It says a bag with different things in it." - Donald Trump, Groceries: a bag with different things in it

“I haven’t used the word ‘groceries.’ It’s like an old-fashioned word, but really it’s not. And people understand it.” - Donald Trump, patron of simple people


"Very simple word, groceries. Like almost — you know, who uses the word? I started using the word — the groceries.” - Donald Trump, bringing back the word "the groceries"

/----/ YAWN

 

[Rambunctious]

He must have agreed to admit he lied and he is sorry...

 

[ThisIsMe]

Money overrules the constitution too. ABC didn't care about free speech. They cared about how many of us were boycotting their companies. How many people cancelled Disney PLUS?

Suck it MAGA

Whats funny is, millions just canceled their Hulu, Disney plus and other stuff, now they have to go back and set it all up again lol

 

[Leo123]

It was no coincidence that Carr made his statement and two hours later Nexstar told ABC they were going to pull the show, right in the middle of a buyout that needed a FCC approval.

The FCC does not allow news distortion which is what Kimmel did. Kimmel has a comedy show and his comment was related to news. Also, despite all the screaming from the left it was ABC that suspended Kimmel, not the FCC.

 

[Rambunctious]

Money overrules the constitution too. ABC didn't care about free speech. They cared about how many of us were boycotting their companies. How many people cancelled Disney PLUS?

Suck it MAGA

ABC doesn't make a lot from his show... and when he returns we will see if his sponsors do as well....

 

[NetJedi]

Jimmy Kimmel's show is returning to ABC on Tuesday, but not all stations will air it

The network pulled the show after the Federal Communications Commission chair threatened regulatory action after the host's comments about Charlie Kirk's death.

www.nbcnews.com

Money overrules political expediency! ABC found that out the hard way!

... and so it goes for all the people that insisted he was "fired".

Now that's sorted out, we can place bets on whether he'll get a contract renewal or go the way of his pal Stephen Colbert, my guess is we'll get a "This will be the last season of 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!'" announcement later this season given that his ratings are far worse than even Colbert's.

Late night is a dying format and the broadcast networks killed it by putting these hyper-partisan morons in the spots once filled by comedic legends like Carson and Leno.

Good news is the broadcast networks are dying too, good riddance.

 

[hjmick]

"As I was saying before I was interrupted..."


That's how he should start the show tomorrow. A throw back to Jack Paar...

 

[ThisIsMe]

This is true, actually. I agree.

The game show host should have stayed on television, and become a standup comic. Here are some of his best comedy bits:

"Smart people don't like me." - Donald Trump, experiencing a moment of clarity.


"Biden is not the sharpest bulb." - Donald Trump, the brightest knife in the drawer.



“We’re gonna get the drug prices down — not 30 or 40 percent, which would be great. Not 50 or 60, no. We’re gonna get them down 1,000 percent, 600 percent, 500 percent, 1,500 percent. Numbers that are not even thought to be achievable.” - Donald Trump, math wizard


Speaking to Modi: "It's not like you've got China on your border." - Donald Trump, ace diplomat

On Puerto Rico: "This is an island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water." - Donald Trump, geography teacher




“And you go, ‘person, woman, man, camera, TV.’ They say, ‘That’s amazing. How did you do that?’" - Donald Trump, amazing 5-word memorizer.

Trump actually believes this was an IQ test and that he aced it! I kid you not.




"So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light, and I think you said that hasn’t been checked, but you’re going to test it. And then I said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. And I think you said you’re going to test that too. Sounds interesting, right? And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning, because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs." - Donald Trump, epidemiologist


“When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases.” - Donald Trump, very stable genius


‘I don’t kid’: Trump says he wasn’t joking about slowing coronavirus testing

President Donald Trump on Tuesday insisted he was serious when he revealed that he had directed his administration to slow coronavirus testing in the United States, shattering the defenses of senior White House aides who argued Trump’s remarks were made in jest.

“I don’t kid. Let me just tell you. Let me make it clear,” Trump told reporters, when pressed on whether his comments at a campaign event Saturday in Tulsa, Okla., were intended as a joke.



"In 1917 they say, right? The great the great pandemic certainly was a terrible thing where they lost anywhere from fifty to a hundred million people. Probably ended the Second World War. All the soldiers were sick." - Donald Trump, lost in time.


"Think of it, magnets. Now all I know about magnets is this, give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that's the end of the magnets." - Donald Trump, physicist


So I said, “Let me ask you a question.” And he said, “Nobody ever asked this question, and it must be because of MIT, my relationship to MIT,” very smart. I say, “What would happen if the boat sank from its weight and you’re in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery’s underwater, and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there?” By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately. Do you notice that? A lot of shark… I watched some guys justifying it today. “Well, they weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they were not hungry, but they misunderstood who she was.” These people are crazy. He said, “There’s no problem with sharks. They just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming now who really got decimated and other people too,” a lot of shark attacks. So I said, “So there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards or here. Do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking, and water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted?” Because I will tell you he didn’t know the answer. He said, “Nobody’s ever asked me that question.” I said, “I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water.” But you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted, I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark. - Donald Trump, galeophobic



"So many mistakes were made. See, there was something I think could have been negotiated, to be honest with you. I think you could’ve negotiated that. All the people died, so many people died." - Donald Trump, Civil War historian


The Battle of Gettysburg. What an unbelievable — it was so much and so interesting, and so vicious and horrible, and so beautiful in so many different ways. It represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg, wow. - Donald Trump, Gettysburg Wow


“In June of 1775, the Continental Congress created a unified army out of the revolutionary forces encamped around Boston and New York, named after the great George Washington, commander in chief. The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis at Yorktown. Our army manned the air, it ranned the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory." - Donald Trump, American Revolution historian


"We have a lot of lumber. We freed it up, as you know, last week. We're freeing it up so that you can actually cut down a tree without being given the death penalty." - Donald Trump, forestry expert.


"An old fashioned term that we use, 'groceries.' I used it on the campaign. It's such an old-fashioned term, but a beautiful term. Groceries. It says a bag with different things in it." - Donald Trump, Groceries: a bag with different things in it

“I haven’t used the word ‘groceries.’ It’s like an old-fashioned word, but really it’s not. And people understand it.” - Donald Trump, patron of simple people


"Very simple word, groceries. Like almost — you know, who uses the word? I started using the word — the groceries.” - Donald Trump, bringing back the word "the groceries"

For someone who's not a democrat, you sure seem to keep tabs on republicans a lot more than you do dems.

 

[Conservative from Georgia]

NBC tech crew revealed her inherent racism.

Same night Matt Lauer was shit canned for asking a question that wasn't on the softball game card.

In fact the Lauer thing set it off.

Interim DNC chairman Donna Brazile, the first black woman to hold the position, was singled out by Hillary during the rant. She screamed at Donna:

“I’m so sick of your face. You stare at the wall like a brain dead buffalo, while letting that f – – – ing Lauer get away with this. What are you good for, really? Get the f – – – to work janitoring this mess – do I make myself clear?”

A female NBC executive said that Donna Brazile looked at Mrs. Clinton and never flinched, which seemed to enrage Hillary all the more. The executive continued:“It was the most awful and terrible…and racist display – such a profane meltdown I have ever witnessed from anyone, and I will never forget it.

HILLARY CLINTON’S MELTDOWN! CALLS DNC CHAIR DONNA BRAZILE ‘BRAIN DEAD BUFFALO’ AND TELLS MATT LAUER HE’S FINISHED IF ‘BASTARD’ TRUMP WINS AFTER ROGUE EMAIL QUESTION DURING PRESIDENTIAL FORUM « 70news [Printable]

You going to now tell me leaked emails only count for Trump?

Your source is some obscure conservative talking head “Bill Still” and Donna Brazille never said Hillary called her that.

 

[Conservative from Georgia]

Read Dershowitz claimed he wouldn't win a lawsuit against ABC.

Hmmm...

Would ABC win against a boycott?

 

[ThisIsMe]

He must have agreed to admit he lied and he is sorry...

Nah, it was the millions of subscribers they were losing on their streaming platforms.

 

[JWBooth]

 

[Delldude]

Suck it MAGA

TPUSA chapters organizing to the tune of some 62,000 last I heard.

See you at the midterms.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

BU bu bu bu -but.

Yes, educated people often discuss ideas past the first 3 syllable thought that fizzled into their brains. Looks weird to you.

 

[skews13]

Sinclair, Nexstar Won’t Air Jimmy Kimmel’s Late-Night Return — The Wall Street Journal

Broadcasters will replace ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’ with news programming, despite Disney saying the show will return on ABC

apple.news

That was more like a paid vacation.

Again, to me it doesn’t matter. I don’t watch his crappy show, anyway.

As for the posturing of ABC and the Mouse, very little confirms that it was just that, posturing, more than the almost immediate termination of the faux suspension

The government does not have the power to apply pressure to a company in order to silence someone.

You have the power of censorship right there in your hand. It's called the remote control.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

So, the religious nutsack Carr's threat is still out there, hanging in the air.

Will he follow up on it?

 

[Conservative from Georgia]

NBC tech crew revealed her inherent racism.

Same night Matt Lauer was shit canned for asking a question that wasn't on the softball game card.

In fact the Lauer thing set it off.

Interim DNC chairman Donna Brazile, the first black woman to hold the position, was singled out by Hillary during the rant. She screamed at Donna:

“I’m so sick of your face. You stare at the wall like a brain dead buffalo, while letting that f – – – ing Lauer get away with this. What are you good for, really? Get the f – – – to work janitoring this mess – do I make myself clear?”

A female NBC executive said that Donna Brazile looked at Mrs. Clinton and never flinched, which seemed to enrage Hillary all the more. The executive continued:“It was the most awful and terrible…and racist display – such a profane meltdown I have ever witnessed from anyone, and I will never forget it.

HILLARY CLINTON’S MELTDOWN! CALLS DNC CHAIR DONNA BRAZILE ‘BRAIN DEAD BUFFALO’ AND TELLS MATT LAUER HE’S FINISHED IF ‘BASTARD’ TRUMP WINS AFTER ROGUE EMAIL QUESTION DURING PRESIDENTIAL FORUM « 70news [Printable]

You going to now tell me leaked emails only count for Trump?

Did Hillary Clinton Throw a Tantrum with Matt Lauer?

An unfounded rumor held that Hillary Clinton threw a tantrum, and a water glass, after NBC's "Commander-in-Chief" Forum in September 2016.

www.snopes.com

Hahahaha.

 

[Delldude]

Your source is some obscure conservative talking head “Bill Still” and Donna Brazille never said Hillary called her that.

The source was an email passed by the NBC technical crew that was doing the broadcast.

Of course Brazille would say that. You actually think she'd diss the candidate?

Would ABC win against a boycott?

I bet they'll let him run out his contract and move on, they do that they can still make a little money off him.

 

[hjmick]

View attachment 1165178

Did Hillary Clinton Throw a Tantrum with Matt Lauer?

An unfounded rumor held that Hillary Clinton threw a tantrum, and a water glass, after NBC's "Commander-in-Chief" Forum in September 2016.

www.snopes.com

Hahahaha.

Countdown to the Snopes attacks...

10... 9... 8... 7...