As much as people criticize internet discussions, I personally prefer the debates I have online to verbal discussion I have in real life. The removal of direct personal interaction improves the experience immensely. Think about it, we do our best work when we isolate ourselves from the world and focus entirely on the issue at hand without all the distractions and emotions involved in most human interactions.
We should listen to what others say whether we actually care how they feel or not because the best ideas will always flourish in a fair exchange of speech. Civility is not based on assumption of middle ground, it's about the fair exchange of ideas, removing emotions from the equation, and maintaining sportsmanship. Compassionate people follow rules of fair play and decency. They do what is right even when it may not be to their own advantage.
There is very real truth in this. When it is something (the rhetorical) you feels strongly about, It is too easy for the initial response to those who disagree with you to be that of defensiveness, resentment, even anger. And when that happens with friends, family, colleagues, it can add a toxic element to the exchange that will not end well.
And maybe most, if not all of us, know at least one person who will actually attack the 'heretic' as he/she sees it and may even cut off a relationship purely because the other person is not properly 'orthodox' in his/her opinions or point of view. And when that kind of intolerance becomes organized effort to punish somebody for no other reason than they express a 'heretical' view, it becomes dangerous for our democratic representative republic.
The same reaction to differences of opinion happen here at DP or other message boards and in the national conversations happening at town halls, in the media, etc. but the lack of in person relationship allows us to say what we think and how we see it without the ramifications of alienating or possibly creating a toxic element in those real life relationships. I always loved formal debate for the reason that any form of non sequitur or ad hominem was removed from the process. Or it was if the debater wanted to score any points.
Even in a forum like USMB, it is the fairly rare person who can actually participate in give and take and exchange of ideas without indicating contempt, scorn, anger, making accusations, insulting etc. the person they disagree with. And too many will intentionally attempt to derail or change any discussion they do not wish to happen.
And that is unfortunate. And when taken to extremes, that too is dangerous to our democratic representative republic.