If I Were Dictator

[g5000]

If I were Supreme Compassionate Ruler of the Peoples of the Republic for Life and Overseer of All Things Great and Small, I would:

1) Declare a moratorium on all software upgrades for a period of five years. The People need a break! As soon as they learn how to use one version of their computer operating system, a new version is released which bears no resemblance to any of the previous versions, and they have to relearn how to use their fucking computer. There is no point to this except to force the herd to spend more money. This circle jerk shit does nothing to improve the quality of life on this planet.

2) Declare that when you order a video game, you receive a CD, not a software code. And you can play the video game on as many computers as you like, whenever you like, and you never have to register on a web site and create a password you have to remember for life before you can play it. Nor will you have to go online and download and install some other piece of shit software from the company that made the video game before you can use the piece of software you just bought.

3) Enact a law which allows the police to pull over and summarily execute slower drivers in the left lane.

 

[TNHarley]

fascist

 

[Correll]

If I were Supreme Compassionate Ruler of the Peoples of the Republic for Life and Overseer of All Things Great and Small, I would:

1) Declare a moratorium on all software upgrades for a period of five years. The People need a break! As soon as they learn how to use one version of their computer operating system, a new version is released which bears no resemblance to any of the previous versions, and they have to relearn how to use their fucking computer. There is no point to this except to force the herd to spend more money. This circle jerk shit does nothing to improve the quality of life on this planet.

2) Declare that when you order a video game, you receive a CD, not a software code. And you can play the video game on as many computers as you like, whenever you like, and you never have to register on a web site and create a password you have to remember for life before you can play it. Nor will you have to go online and download and install some other piece of shit software from the company that made the video game before you can use the piece of software you just bought.

3) Enact a law which allows the police to pull over and summarily execute slower drivers in the left lane.

4) Anyone in the line behind someone who is holding up the line so they can count out their exact change (or as close to it as they can) may kill that person by any means available.

 

[g5000]

fascist

4) Anyone calling me a fascist will be placed in an insane asylum.

 

[g5000]

If I were Supreme Compassionate Ruler of the Peoples of the Republic for Life and Overseer of All Things Great and Small, I would:

1) Declare a moratorium on all software upgrades for a period of five years. The People need a break! As soon as they learn how to use one version of their computer operating system, a new version is released which bears no resemblance to any of the previous versions, and they have to relearn how to use their fucking computer. There is no point to this except to force the herd to spend more money. This circle jerk shit does nothing to improve the quality of life on this planet.

2) Declare that when you order a video game, you receive a CD, not a software code. And you can play the video game on as many computers as you like, whenever you like, and you never have to register on a web site and create a password you have to remember for life before you can play it. Nor will you have to go online and download and install some other piece of shit software from the company that made the video game before you can use the piece of software you just bought.

3) Enact a law which allows the police to pull over and summarily execute slower drivers in the left lane.

4) Anyone in the line behind someone who is holding up the line so they can count out their exact change (or as close to it as they can) may kill that person by any means available.

5) Anyone writing a check in the express checkout lane may be gut punched on sight. If they wait until the cashier has given them the total prior to beginning to fill out the check, they may be gutted with a rusty knife.

 

[g5000]

6) A ban on all tax expenditures.

 

[NLT]

If you have 21 items in a 20 item check out lane you will be publicaly flogged, tarrred and feathered.

 

[g5000]

If you have 21 items in a 20 item check out lane you will be publicaly flogged, tarrred and feathered.

Unless the 21st item is a gift card for the Revered Leader (me).

 

[NLT]

If you are a member of PETA and are caught wearing leather or eating meat, you will be shot on sight

 

[g5000]

We're clearly going to need a regulation that every grocery store must keep a fresh bucket of tar and a fresh bag of feathers at their Service Desk.

 

[g5000]

If you are a member of PETA and are caught wearing leather or eating meat, you will be shot on sight

Unnecessary. PETA is banned.

 

[Ravi]

Shoot anyone that whines about the PC police.

 

[g5000]

Shoot anyone that whines about the PC police.

Damn right. Anyone who speaks against me will be rounded up by the PC police and placed in an insane asylum. People who think I am wrong about anything are clearly crazy.

 

[g5000]

7) Any uranium, plutonium, centrifuges, underground bunker buster proof laboratories, and breeder reactors I may or may not possess are strictly for entertainment purposes.

 

[mdk]

More holidays and legalized kind bud. No shitty pot in my Queendom. lol

 

[g5000]

I have a very long list of "waterboarding isn't torture" people on my List Of People To Waterboard.

 

[g5000]

More holidays and legalized kind bud. No shitty pot in my Queendom. lol

Oh, yeah. Legalize pot. I need my sheep to be placid.

 

[Dovahkiin]

As dictator, I will immediately demand the public learn basic economic concepts and sectoral balances!

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

fascist

It's quite simple....anyone that doesn't agree that I fell from Heaven....will be taken out and shot....and anyone that is annoying to me, will be taken out and shot....and anyone who isn't clean and smartly dressed, will be taken out and shot....and anyone who is Militant Feminist, will be taken out and shot....and anyone who is Politically Correct, will be taken out and shot....and any man who has horrible GINGER beard, if he refuses to shave it, he'll be taken out and shot....and anyone who DARES say things like "Yo! Wassup?", will be taken out and shot....and anyone who likes Bono and Amnesty International, will be taken out and shot....and anyone who doesn't agree that Schwartzhog is THE greatest drink EVER, will be taken out and shot.

 

[mdk]

More holidays and legalized kind bud. No shitty pot in my Queendom. lol

Oh, yeah. Legalize pot. I need my sheep to be placid.

Ewe! lol.

I am already rather placid. Pot is just how I relax.