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Zone1 I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way

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IM2

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In 1954, Gordon Alpert developed a theory of prejudice based on what is called contact hypothesis. To paraphrase what I learned in a very simple way is that prejudice comes from applying a broad brush to describe or stereotype an entire group of people based on a lack of information about that particular group. In discussing race in this forum we see all kinds of stereotyped factless comments coming primarily from the right.

I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way

Moms everywhere are suffering from burnout. But Black mom burnout is different. As a Black mother to two teenage sons and a toddler daughter, I find myself wondering: Will my children be perceived as a threat and cut down in their prime because of their race? Will they miss out because they’re invisible to whoever is passing out the opportunities? Do they have to be perceived as perfect to get any chance to seize their dreams?

Many people of color often turn to the one tool we have in our own shed — the instinct to try to outwork any negative perceptions of us, to tackle the questions that haunt us like the spirits of our ancestors. We’re taught to overwork to prove ourselves beyond the reach of racism and to render racist stereotypes unbelievable or even laughable.

But is this tendency to overwork — and our tendency to encourage our children to do the same — an attempt to outrun systemic issues beyond our control?

Growing up in Tennessee, I was taught working hard was the key to everything — happiness, upward mobility and rising above racism in the South. And while I consider my work ethic one of my greatest gifts, it seems the neat equation of “racism + hard work = less discrimination” doesn’t always add up.

“Work twice as hard to get half as much” was the mantra many of us were raised on, but it is considered by most Black moms today to be played-out advice from our parents’ generation. Despite that, racism and its effects haven’t expired, and in many ways, they’ve been given new life in this era.


The problem wiith those who call themselves in opposition is the fact that they believe things that do not apply to the way blacks are raised. Perhaps if you are white and don't put in the effort, you will not not suceed. Perhaps if you are white and don't focus on education you will fail. But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. Whites do not face this:

“I can say for sure that happens because I did it. Before retirement, I was an Engineer. For the last 20 years of my career, I was a Manager and Director and I hired hundreds of people. I reviewed well over a thousand resumes for all kinds of positions. Everything from Secretaries to Engineering Managers. Both Salary and Hourly. I always culled out the resumes with Black Ethnic names. Never shortlisted anybody with a Black Ethnic name. Never hired them.” Since the Fortune 50 company I worked for had a stupid “affirmative action” hiring policies I never mentioned it to anybody and I always got away with it. A couple of times I was instructed to improve my departmental “diversity” demographics but I always ignored it and never got into any trouble. My stereotype is that anybody with a stupid ghetto Black ethnic name is probably worthless. I could have been wrong a couple of times but I was also probably right 99% of the time. Glad I did it. I would do it again.”
 

1srelluc

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When are you people going to cut America a check for all the looting and property damage you blacks racked-up since '67?
 
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EvilCat Breath

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In 1954, Gordon Alpert developed a theory of prejudice based on what is called contact hypothesis. To paraphrase what I learned in a very simple way is that prejudice comes from applying a broad brush to describe or stereotype an entire group of people based on a lack of information about that particular group. In discussing race in this forum we see all kinds of stereotyped factless comments coming primarily from the right.

I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way

Moms everywhere are suffering from burnout. But Black mom burnout is different. As a Black mother to two teenage sons and a toddler daughter, I find myself wondering: Will my children be perceived as a threat and cut down in their prime because of their race? Will they miss out because they’re invisible to whoever is passing out the opportunities? Do they have to be perceived as perfect to get any chance to seize their dreams?

Many people of color often turn to the one tool we have in our own shed — the instinct to try to outwork any negative perceptions of us, to tackle the questions that haunt us like the spirits of our ancestors. We’re taught to overwork to prove ourselves beyond the reach of racism and to render racist stereotypes unbelievable or even laughable.

But is this tendency to overwork — and our tendency to encourage our children to do the same — an attempt to outrun systemic issues beyond our control?

Growing up in Tennessee, I was taught working hard was the key to everything — happiness, upward mobility and rising above racism in the South. And while I consider my work ethic one of my greatest gifts, it seems the neat equation of “racism + hard work = less discrimination” doesn’t always add up.

“Work twice as hard to get half as much” was the mantra many of us were raised on, but it is considered by most Black moms today to be played-out advice from our parents’ generation. Despite that, racism and its effects haven’t expired, and in many ways, they’ve been given new life in this era.


The problem wiith those who call themselves in opposition is the fact that they believe things that do not apply to the way blacks are raised. Perhaps if you are white and don't put in the effort, you will not not suceed. Perhaps if you are white and don't focus on education you will fail. But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. Whites do not face this:

“I can say for sure that happens because I did it. Before retirement, I was an Engineer. For the last 20 years of my career, I was a Manager and Director and I hired hundreds of people. I reviewed well over a thousand resumes for all kinds of positions. Everything from Secretaries to Engineering Managers. Both Salary and Hourly. I always culled out the resumes with Black Ethnic names. Never shortlisted anybody with a Black Ethnic name. Never hired them.” Since the Fortune 50 company I worked for had a stupid “affirmative action” hiring policies I never mentioned it to anybody and I always got away with it. A couple of times I was instructed to improve my departmental “diversity” demographics but I always ignored it and never got into any trouble. My stereotype is that anybody with a stupid ghetto Black ethnic name is probably worthless. I could have been wrong a couple of times but I was also probably right 99% of the time. Glad I did it. I would do it again.”
But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle.
No one is pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. No one cares that you think that white racism is a hurdle at all.

If only whites would think about how hard blacks work and what racism means the black plight would get better. When, in fact, no one cares.
 
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IM2

IM2

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When are you people going to cut America a check for all the looting and property damage you blacks racked-up since '67?
When are you going to discuss the topic since whites lead every year in property crime according to the UCR?
 
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IM2

IM2

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But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle.
No one is pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. No one cares that you think that white racism is a hurdle at all.

If only whites would think about how hard blacks work and what racism means the black plight would get better. When, in fact, no one cares.
You do care. That's why you're here trying to tell me that you don't. You can't face the truth. So if you don't care don't post in this thread. That's what normal people do.
 

Paleman

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Moms everywhere are suffering from burnout. But Black mom burnout is different. As a Black mother to two teenage sons and a toddler daughter, I find myself wondering: Will my children be perceived as a threat and cut down in their prime because of their race? Will they miss out because they’re invisible to whoever is passing out the opportunities? Do they have to be perceived as perfect to get any chance to seize their dreams?
You may be a very nice person but you spew the same woe is me nonsense. In your first sentence, you go right to the mantra of we blacks are different and need to be treated differently.
With the known problems in the black community, I can't help but ask this question. Were any of your kids conceived within marriage? If not, your decision most likely has caused them great harm.
Just who do you think is responsible for cutting down your kids in their prime or are you just gonna go with it's always the police or some white devil.
No, they do not have to be perceived as perfect, they just all too often have to show up and get in the front of the line.
Just a little help for those of you who can't wait to pounce. It is spelled r-a-c-i-s-t which most of us know is the opposite of t-r-u-t-h.
 

EvilCat Breath

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You do care. That's why you're here trying to tell me that you don't. You can't face the truth. So if you don't care don't post in this thread. That's what normal people do.
I have watched you throw yourself into walls of white apathy for years. I cannot help but pity someone so pathetic. I have often wondered why you did it when the conclusion is so obvious. Of course, how could I have missed it. You have judged pity and curiosity for interest, sympathy and indeed, perhaps even compassion. You are an abused companion valiantly clinging to the concept that as long as your companion beats you, it shows that they care.

It's a sickness. It has to be.
 

NewsVine_Mariyam

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In 1954, Gordon Alpert developed a theory of prejudice based on what is called contact hypothesis. To paraphrase what I learned in a very simple way is that prejudice comes from applying a broad brush to describe or stereotype an entire group of people based on a lack of information about that particular group. In discussing race in this forum we see all kinds of stereotyped factless comments coming primarily from the right.

I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way

Moms everywhere are suffering from burnout. But Black mom burnout is different. As a Black mother to two teenage sons and a toddler daughter, I find myself wondering: Will my children be perceived as a threat and cut down in their prime because of their race? Will they miss out because they’re invisible to whoever is passing out the opportunities? Do they have to be perceived as perfect to get any chance to seize their dreams?

Many people of color often turn to the one tool we have in our own shed — the instinct to try to outwork any negative perceptions of us, to tackle the questions that haunt us like the spirits of our ancestors. We’re taught to overwork to prove ourselves beyond the reach of racism and to render racist stereotypes unbelievable or even laughable.

But is this tendency to overwork — and our tendency to encourage our children to do the same — an attempt to outrun systemic issues beyond our control?

Growing up in Tennessee, I was taught working hard was the key to everything — happiness, upward mobility and rising above racism in the South. And while I consider my work ethic one of my greatest gifts, it seems the neat equation of “racism + hard work = less discrimination” doesn’t always add up.

“Work twice as hard to get half as much” was the mantra many of us were raised on, but it is considered by most Black moms today to be played-out advice from our parents’ generation. Despite that, racism and its effects haven’t expired, and in many ways, they’ve been given new life in this era.


The problem wiith those who call themselves in opposition is the fact that they believe things that do not apply to the way blacks are raised. Perhaps if you are white and don't put in the effort, you will not not suceed. Perhaps if you are white and don't focus on education you will fail. But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. Whites do not face this:

“I can say for sure that happens because I did it. Before retirement, I was an Engineer. For the last 20 years of my career, I was a Manager and Director and I hired hundreds of people. I reviewed well over a thousand resumesSo for all kinds of positions. Everything from Secretaries to Engineering Managers. Both Salary and Hourly. I always culled out the resumes with Black Ethnic names. Never shortlisted anybody with a Black Ethnic name. Never hired them.” Since the Fortune 50 company I worked for had a stupid “affirmative action” hiring policies I never mentioned it to anybody and I always got away with it. A couple of times I was instructed to improve my departmental “diversity” demographics but I always ignored it and never got into any trouble. My stereotype is that anybody with a stupid ghetto Black ethnic name is probably worthless. I could have been wrong a couple of times but I was also probably right 99% of the time. Glad I did it. I would do it again.”
Very good IM2, thank you for posting this.

I don't know the difference between DC & Marvel but the person who posted this is Foxtrot lima of sorts?
 
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NewsVine_Mariyam

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When are you people going to cut America a check for all the looting and property damage you blacks racked-up since '67?
And here comes the first case in point
 
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NewsVine_Mariyam

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If only whites would think about how hard blacks work and what racism means the black plight would get better. When, in fact, no one cares.
LOL, we know that white racists don't care, you all are not the target audience.

And you all care enough to constantly whine about the imaginary discrimination that you believe is happening to white males and presumably females as well.
 

NewsVine_Mariyam

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I have watched you throw yourself into walls of white apathy for years. I cannot help but pity someone so pathetic. I have often wondered why you did it when the conclusion is so obvious. Of course, how could I have missed it. You have judged pity and curiosity for interest, sympathy and indeed, perhaps even compassion. You are an abused companion valiantly clinging to the concept that as long as your companion beats you, it shows that they care.

It's a sickness. It has to be.
Yet the legal racism that the United States put into place that stood for almost 200 years is not a sickness? And you were an attorney right?
 

OhPleaseJustQuit

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But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle.
No one is pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. No one cares that you think that white racism is a hurdle at all.

If only whites would think about how hard blacks work and what racism means the black plight would get better. When, in fact, no one cares.

It would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't lost a job that I really wanted to a person whose only qualification greater than mine was an abundance of melanin.

It would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't had my home invaded and my belongings stolen by another armed melanin rich individual.

It would be a lot easier to care if, when I lived in a neighborhood that had plenty of folks who had that extra melanin, just one of them had returned a fraction of the effort I made to be a friendly, respectful neighbor.

And it certainly would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't been abducted, raped, beaten and nearly murdered by yet another of those folks who are so rich in melanin.

You're right. At least in terms of those people sitting here in my office at this very moment, no one does care.
 

NewsVine_Mariyam

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It would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't lost a job that I really wanted to a person whose only qualification greater than mine was an abundance of melanin.

It would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't had my home invaded and my belongings stolen by another armed melanin rich individual.

It would be a lot easier to care if, when I lived in a neighborhood that had plenty of folks who had that extra melanin, just one of them had returned a fraction of the effort I made to be a friendly, respectful neighbor.

And it certainly would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't been abducted, raped, beaten and nearly murdered by yet another of those folks who are so rich in melanin.

You're right. At least in terms of those people sitting here in my office at this very moment, no one does care.
Well first of all it's absolutely horrible that you endured a sexual assault of that nature and I'm sorry that you were subjected to that. Having been a crime victim does a lot regarding coloring your view of the world.

Are you aware of the fact that Black people in the U.S. were not allowed to hold white people accountable for crimes they actually committed against them, let alone broad brush the entire white race? I'm asking because I for one, certainly understand why you feel the way you do, I'm just curious as to whether or not you feel it's fair to stereotype an entire race of people because of the criminal acts committed against you by some?
 
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OhPleaseJustQuit

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Well first of all it's absolutely horrible that you endured a sexual assault of that nature and I'm sorry that you were subjected to that. Having been a crime victim does a lot regarding coloring your view of the world.

Are you aware of the fact that Black people in the U.S. were not allowed to hold white people accountable for crimes they actually committed against them, let alone broad brush the entire white race? I'm asking because I for one, certainly understand why you feel the way you do, I'm just curious as to whether or not you feel it's fair to stereotype an entire race of people because of the criminal acts committed against you by some?


I nearly died.

:)
 

Paleman

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I
Well first of all it's absolutely horrible that you endured a sexual assault of that nature and I'm sorry that you were subjected to that. Having been a crime victim does a lot regarding coloring your view of the world.

Are you aware of the fact that Black people in the U.S. were not allowed to hold white people accountable for crimes they actually committed against them, let alone broad brush the entire white race? I'm asking because I for one, certainly understand why you feel the way you do, I'm just curious as to whether or not you feel it's fair to stereotype an entire race of people because of the criminal acts committed against you by some?
It's not a one-off. Maybe she and we have certain feelings due to the immense amount of crime perpetrated against us. How can you not be jaded when being inundated by criminal black faces featured on every newscast and newspaper's front page? I got so sick and tired of it while living on Long Island, NY, that when choosing a retirement community I paid special attention to the crime rate but I was not smart enough to realize that all the news would be coming out of Orlando. Net result? I am still looking at the same faces I tried to put behind me. We can't escape reality.
 
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IM2

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It would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't lost a job that I really wanted to a person whose only qualification greater than mine was an abundance of melanin.

It would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't had my home invaded and my belongings stolen by another armed melanin rich individual.

It would be a lot easier to care if, when I lived in a neighborhood that had plenty of folks who had that extra melanin, just one of them had returned a fraction of the effort I made to be a friendly, respectful neighbor.

And it certainly would be a lot easier to care if I hadn't been abducted, raped, beaten and nearly murdered by yet another of those folks who are so rich in melanin.

You're right. At least in terms of those people sitting here in my office at this very moment, no one does care.
Stop whining. Everything you have is because of your lack of melanin. When you supposedly lived in that neighborhood, you didn't respect the people living there. And don't talk about being abducted and raped when blacks have had to live with whites doing that to us for all of American history. But none of your whining and attempts to deflect have nothing to dojn with the topic of this thread.
 

OhPleaseJustQuit

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Stop whining. Everything you have is because of your lack of melanin. When you supposedly lived in that neighborhood, you didn't respect the people living there. And don't talk about being abducted and raped when blacks have had to live with whites doing that to us for all of American history. But none of your whining and attempts to deflect have nothing to dojn with the topic of this thread.

And you want us to believe that you are the victim.

I'd bet money you think white women deserve to be abducted, raped and murdered by black men.

You have no credibility.

You have unpersoned yourself. You don't need me to do it for you.
 

Seymour Flops

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In 1954, Gordon Alpert developed a theory of prejudice based on what is called contact hypothesis. To paraphrase what I learned in a very simple way is that prejudice comes from applying a broad brush to describe or stereotype an entire group of people based on a lack of information about that particular group. In discussing race in this forum we see all kinds of stereotyped factless comments coming primarily from the right.

I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way

Moms everywhere are suffering from burnout. But Black mom burnout is different. As a Black mother to two teenage sons and a toddler daughter, I find myself wondering: Will my children be perceived as a threat and cut down in their prime because of their race? Will they miss out because they’re invisible to whoever is passing out the opportunities? Do they have to be perceived as perfect to get any chance to seize their dreams?

Many people of color often turn to the one tool we have in our own shed — the instinct to try to outwork any negative perceptions of us, to tackle the questions that haunt us like the spirits of our ancestors. We’re taught to overwork to prove ourselves beyond the reach of racism and to render racist stereotypes unbelievable or even laughable.

But is this tendency to overwork — and our tendency to encourage our children to do the same — an attempt to outrun systemic issues beyond our control?

Growing up in Tennessee, I was taught working hard was the key to everything — happiness, upward mobility and rising above racism in the South. And while I consider my work ethic one of my greatest gifts, it seems the neat equation of “racism + hard work = less discrimination” doesn’t always add up.

“Work twice as hard to get half as much” was the mantra many of us were raised on, but it is considered by most Black moms today to be played-out advice from our parents’ generation. Despite that, racism and its effects haven’t expired, and in many ways, they’ve been given new life in this era.


The problem wiith those who call themselves in opposition is the fact that they believe things that do not apply to the way blacks are raised. Perhaps if you are white and don't put in the effort, you will not not suceed. Perhaps if you are white and don't focus on education you will fail. But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. Whites do not face this:

“I can say for sure that happens because I did it. Before retirement, I was an Engineer. For the last 20 years of my career, I was a Manager and Director and I hired hundreds of people. I reviewed well over a thousand resumes for all kinds of positions. Everything from Secretaries to Engineering Managers. Both Salary and Hourly. I always culled out the resumes with Black Ethnic names. Never shortlisted anybody with a Black Ethnic name. Never hired them.” Since the Fortune 50 company I worked for had a stupid “affirmative action” hiring policies I never mentioned it to anybody and I always got away with it. A couple of times I was instructed to improve my departmental “diversity” demographics but I always ignored it and never got into any trouble. My stereotype is that anybody with a stupid ghetto Black ethnic name is probably worthless. I could have been wrong a couple of times but I was also probably right 99% of the time. Glad I did it. I would do it again.”
The perception of blacks as dangerous will never stop until the black community steps up and insists that its young men behave in ways that send them to college instead of prison and that black performers and white producers stop glorifying violence in music and film.
 

OhPleaseJustQuit

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It's not a one-off. Maybe she and we have certain feelings due to the immense amount of crime perpetrated against us. How can you not be jaded when being inundated by criminal black faces featured on every newscast and newspaper's front page? I got so sick and tired of it while living on Long Island, NY, that when choosing a retirement community I paid special attention to the crime rate but I was not smart enough to realize that all the news would be coming out of Orlando. Net result? I am still looking at the same faces I tried to put behind me. We can't escape reality.

Because those criminal black faces are not on the newscasts and front pages.
 

EvilCat Breath

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I really do not have bad experiences with black people. I grew up around blacks and found them to be welcoming and kind. When I was carjacked, it wasn't a black, but a mexican. When I came back to California after a couple of years in Texas and Colorado I chose to move to Compton where the neighborhood was more familiar to me.

Then the riots happened. Gangs of black men went door to door looking for non blacks. But, I had loyal and loving neighbors. The living Saint among them was Christine. She lived right next door. She made her living and supported her four children as a prostitute. She hid me and my baby in her closet when the gangs came. If there was a sound, me, my baby, Christine and her four children would have been killed, all of us. But she hid us.

I can't imagine Christine destroying a McDonald's over chicken nuggets. As a common street walking whore she had too much class. Blacks today are very different from the people they were. I used to wonder what happened. Now I don't care. They have exhausted me, used up what little interest I could scrape together. Whiney crybabies like IM2 or some thug on death row, they are all the same.
 
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