joke:
pa·go·da
noun
noun:
pagoda; plural noun:
pagodas
- a Hindu or Buddhist temple or sacred building, typically a many-tiered tower, in India and East Asia.
- an ornamental imitation of a Hindu or Buddhist pagoda.
and I ran around with my run gear as all the other... 'gongs'.. Meditation time...
but that's not the joke part... I actually left my home town to do so.. Now I have to live as if it's okay..
A joke... A non white person being respectable to white persons.. Soon, the person although non white, was beginning to be appreciated by them white folk for being so kind and hospitable and generous in hospitality.. Some other guy came around and thought.. how is this non white guy so 'white' as if he's white?
So he had a plan... he was going to ruin his life and show him that he was not white...
Well a white person went into an Asian place.. He got word though of what 'other guy' was doing and was capable of.. so he just started acting rude and soon he was tossed out.. *whew... safe and clear without needing to think I was Asian..
obviously that 'other guy' prefers whites also.. Noone can be white without his permission.. even if they all were completely not even concerned that that non white knowing non white person was going to be non white ..
Oh.. so what happened? He got the rights to ownership to that non white non white knowing non white person.. So the non white person was thinking to himself... frick! what the hell am I going to do?? So he began to turn into a very non non white, non accomodating, non hospitible, non generous in hospitality, non kind , kind of person.
I think he's going to 'die' soon, actually.. He's becoming of no service..
Even the stranger part was the one who was even 'greater' than that 'other guy' trying to give some encouragement to his already changing ways as if it was 'that easy' to do... hahahaha... I don't know what that other guy did, but the change was not being faked.. he was really having all those qualities stripped, chopped, chomped out from right within him somehow.
Oh and get this... when he got word that some were getting mad.. he had that non non white guy appear as if he was him and he tried to make the get away.
Noone is getting the scenery?
There were abled ones who could have helped that non non white person.. The abled ones including the one who was as that other guy.. didn't care what the person was feeling or going through.. even to the end where he didn't even know his left from his right....
All they seemed to care about was someone maybe needing to see him 'alive' or so it seems... well that's what they left of him... some one who was just alive.. but not as anything as he was before they were allowed into his life... And then for the greater ones to find that trial too easy of a load to not get back into that former more gentle and kind way, was even more strange.. as if that living body was like some kind of no one to even care a single thing about anything about him... it was really sad... really really sad...
I hope that non non white guy ends up falling asleep soon.. I'm getting too tired of being played around with.. They must think I'm playing games and nothing but games with them as they have been.. Not to mention that yes.. that person.. well.... he was never really that worth anything to begin with... Not even to the greater ones... betrayal sucks...
Who betrayed who??
fine... my life betrayed yours.. fair enough?
Now everytime they see me or i see them, they want to make extra certain that I don't have any memories of them by throwing some sad guilt trip as if I became so away from them so they could feel as if they did nothing wrong... that's okay..
Sorry cannot change yesterday.. nor what yesterday caused for today... and for some reason they don't understand a single thing about how i'm feeling... why? they don't even bother asking .. but they just continue doing.... doing doing doing something that is so impossible for me to do that of course, they will leave me not knowing my right to my left... Why? plain and simple... they think my intelligence and courtesies were just too 'good' for a non non white person to have in the first place.. to them I was a liar and a deceiver...
but then again here's the flip side.. the person's faith was within all those nice and gentle fruit of the spirit, also.. they robbed him of the fruit of the spirit which got him that way...
One of the most fricken irritating things is when they, the greater ones, come around and suggest my old fruit, which was more destroyed and murdered, than properly pruned, back to me as if I did not go through any ordeal.
What a fricken blatant, 'figure this out', crap...
I get hurt by what occurred and they come back and offer me things which were as severed from within my spirit because I had a good relationship with the one I received upon my water baptism and confession of faith??
that was over 15 years ago.... 22 years ago..
I mean, I really to hate to say this.. but couldn't they have at least told me what this life might have been like before I drove my mother bonkers? I mean she might be better off in the second life because I drove her bonkers but then I'm left here with my personal understanding needing to be met...
I mean.. if not for anything then for what reason is nothing being as what The Holy Bible makes Them sound to be as? I mean, nothing close. Not now at least.. back then maybe, but that memory is dwindling fast...
and please don't pull that 'sin' reason on me.. I'm a Gentile not bound under (J)ewish Laws.
They have a sort of reasoning that does not work well for me that once did which they continue to use... it's not working well, i continue saying.. but they don't seem to understand that it's not working and so continues.
I've already lost many fruits.. they have watched them being torn apart.. Yet still for some reason, they continue allowing these others to do to me, to hurt, not only the fruit(s) of the spirit; as if the fruit(s) of the spirit is worth less, or as if the reason they are allowing it, is worth more than these fruit(s) of the spirit... It really is strange to me how they could think of their own work(s) in my life as if they were worth less than what having them stripped and torn and ruined is turning me into..
