how to react if approached by a bear?

[toobfreak]

I fought that bear like I would fight a man,” Pumphrey said. “I kept slugging her on top of her head, fighting for my life.

That's why it pays to carry a good knife, maybe a 9-12" blade. Stabbing down hard at the bears spine from above would likely kill it.

 

[sealybobo]

Black bears can run up over 600 pounds. Nothing to fuck with. Heaven help you if it is a mother with cubs.


Only way a stick is going to deter any bear is if it is just curious about you and doesn't really want you. But by the time you find out, it will be too late.


A 300 pound bear probably has easily 4X the strength of any human if not more. It is no contest. You are a toy in its hands. Might as well fight a Terminator. If that bear gave up on that husband, then consider that dude lucky. The bear really didn't want him. A bear fighting you is like you fighting an 11 year old girl.

I would love to see a video of a black bear attack where the bear "really wants them".

Not the attack but the approach.

I watched video of a black bear stalking someone and it was THINKING about attacking but at the time it was still

I suppose it is possible. Let's say it was a 100-150 pound log and the Marine threw it from an elevated position or in an arc that it had several feet of arc to fall before striking the bear in the top of the head. Then the log gains in kinetic energy ( a falling weight carries much more force than it simply laid on you) and could deliver quite a lot of kinetic energy on impact.

Throwing a 150 pound log 6 feet falling at 20 mph at impact might deliver 675 foot-pounds of force. Hitting a bear straight on in the head, that might be enough to crush its skull or break its neck.

It's just crazy that could kill it. I would think it'd be like throwing a popsicle at me.

I would imagine 9 times out of ten all you did was give the bear a nuggy and that would just piss him off. and you'd have to hit it JUST RIGHT to snap it's neck.

 

[toobfreak]

It's just crazy that could kill it. I would think it'd be like throwing a popsicle at me.

Then lay on the ground and have someone drop a 150 pound log on your chest from 6 feet high and see what you think. It is all about the peak energy at the instant of impact.

And who knows? Maybe this marine was a mensch and it was a 300 pound log. Maybe he was George The Animal Steele. That now could be up around 2,500 foot-pounds of impact.

 

[task0778]

Note to self: when you go walking in the woods, always go with somebody that is slower than you are.

 

[rosends]

What to do if approached by a bear (note, this will not work for a wolf):

1. Try to identify the type of bear. There are three types most important to distinguish between
A. Bear you owe money to
B. Bear whom you don't owe money to
C. Bear who is in a religious cult

the way you deal with each is different

If you owe the bear money, the best thing to do is to repay the money and do so with a compliment but NOT AN EXCUSE. Bears hate excuses. Just pay the money, tell the bear that his winter coat is coming in nicely and then tell him you have a meeting and can't chat. It will take the bear a few minutes to remember that today is not Sunday and you have no work, so you have no meeting. By then, you will have walked away. Bears have limited calenderical skills so one must exploit that weakness. If you don't have the money, ask the bear if he can give you just 1 more day. Beg and plead (bears are made uncomfortable by tears). The moment the bear seems to relent, say thank you, make wild promises and quickly get on a place headed to Borneo.

If you don't owe money to the bear, strike up a conversation about the weather -- to a bear, this is not small talk. It is an important part of planning each day. Talk about how it is getting colder and ask how the hibernation plans are going. Do not ask for pictures as bears rarely carry pictures because they don't have pockets. Bears are very sensitive about not having pockets, so stay away from this topic. Also, don't bring up politics or cars. Bears have very strong opinions and don't know when to shut up. Try to get out of the conversation before the bear asks to borrow money. Damn bears.

If the bear belongs to a religious cult, one should present the bear with a rhubarb pie. Trust me on this one. Just give 'em the pie.

You're welcome.

 

[deannalw]

AAAAAHHHHH! Shoot it!

Shoot it again!

Shoot it a bunch more!

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

3. Suck it's dick

LOL

Ain't gonna save you from a bear either..

Maybe you could take out a restraining order on it.

Ursine Cuisine

Treehugger Timmy Treadwell and his dumb-blonde girl friend went up to cuddle a bear and said to it, "Let's do lunch!"

So the bear ate them.

 

[Freedomisneverfree]

If she has babies, slowly get off the trail and RUN like a MF'er!

 

[Zebra]

What to do if approached by a bear (note, this will not work for a wolf):

1. Try to identify the type of bear. There are three types most important to distinguish between
A. Bear you owe money to
B. Bear whom you don't owe money to
C. Bear who is in a religious cult

the way you deal with each is different

If you owe the bear money, the best thing to do is to repay the money and do so with a compliment but NOT AN EXCUSE. Bears hate excuses. Just pay the money, tell the bear that his winter coat is coming in nicely and then tell him you have a meeting and can't chat. It will take the bear a few minutes to remember that today is not Sunday and you have no work, so you have no meeting. By then, you will have walked away. Bears have limited calenderical skills so one must exploit that weakness. If you don't have the money, ask the bear if he can give you just 1 more day. Beg and plead (bears are made uncomfortable by tears). The moment the bear seems to relent, say thank you, make wild promises and quickly get on a place headed to Borneo.

If you don't owe money to the bear, strike up a conversation about the weather -- to a bear, this is not small talk. It is an important part of planning each day. Talk about how it is getting colder and ask how the hibernation plans are going. Do not ask for pictures as bears rarely carry pictures because they don't have pockets. Bears are very sensitive about not having pockets, so stay away from this topic. Also, don't bring up politics or cars. Bears have very strong opinions and don't know when to shut up. Try to get out of the conversation before the bear asks to borrow money. Damn bears.

If the bear belongs to a religious cult, one should present the bear with a rhubarb pie. Trust me on this one. Just give 'em the pie.

You're welcome.

great!

 

[Donald H]

great!

What to do if approached by a bear (note, this will not work for a wolf):

1. Try to identify the type of bear. There are three types most important to distinguish between
A. Bear you owe money to
B. Bear whom you don't owe money to
C. Bear who is in a religious cult

the way you deal with each is different

If you're approached by a wolf you have nothing to worry about or deal with.

 

[Zincwarrior]

If you're approached by a wolf you have nothing to worry about or deal with.

 

[Missourian]

Why are all bears such food sluts?

View attachment 1003301

And was I a bear in a former life?

Mrs MO sent me this yesterday...

 

[petro]

I live in Black bear and Wolf country.
I have had a few close encounters with the bears, but I just stayed still and they would just meander off.
Never in my life have I seen a wolf, but I have heard many in the northern forest.
A lot of Coyotes just outside the Twin Cities in my area. Seen a few of those.

 

[luiza]

. Polar bear? R.I.P. lol

The guy on the front sledge screamed so loud and with such a piercing high frequency that Mr Polar released him and sloped away .
True yarn .
Might help if -----

Could equally apply to these new Lefty Mutants .