Zone1 Here's A Pickup Line To Use On A Girl Of Each Christian Denomination

[Votto]

Here's A Pickup Line To Use On A Girl Of Each Christian Denomination
Faith Tips·Mar 31, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

If you're a Christian guy looking to find a godly wife, you know it can be hard to start a conversation with a girl. But we at The Babylon Bee have much rizz, we are reliably told. Here is a pickup line to use for a girl of each Christian denomination:

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• Baptist: "Wanna see how many chairs I can carry?" [Then carry a lot of chairs]
• Pentecostal: "Hoo-baba kanda wally wanda beeeeeeee"
• Orthodox: "Nice beard."
• Presbyterian: "You're so cute, it's almost enough to make me express emotion. Almost."
• Non-Denominational: "Girl, I just want to, just, get to know you more, and just, really feel your presence in this place and girl, I just ask, girl, that you just, that you just go out with me this Saturday night. Amen."
• Catholic: "Go out with me. I'm speaking ex cathedra, so you have to."
• Anglican: Same pickup line as the Catholics but say it in an English accent.
• Amish: "I talked to your dad. We're getting married this Saturday."
• Lutheran: No pickup line needed — nail 95 reasons she should go out with you to her door.
• Churches of Christ: "I think you and I could make some great melodies together - a capella, of course."
• Methodist: [Does anyone know anything about Methodists? Let's do some research and be sure to fill this joke in before publishing.]
• Evangelical Megachurch: "I'd be honored if you'd go on a date with me at the one of our church campus's 14 convenient coffee shops."
• Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church: "Hey there, I'm naming and claiming your heart. You're my best girl now."
• Episcopalian: Oh no! That's not a girl - run!

 

[Blackrook]

This is dumb and not at all funny. Please stop posting Babylon Bee because it's the worst.

 

[Votto]

This is dumb and not at all funny. Please stop posting Babylon Bee because it's the worst.

Really?

I post what I find is funny, and yes, it is poking fun at people like myself which I find to be necessary at times.

After all, if you can't laugh at yourself, you join a whole host of other people who can't either, and that is not a very good group to be associated with.

In case you had not noticed, the entire human race is off the rails, so you have two options, laugh or cry.

It is really up to you.

 

[Blackrook]

Really?

I post what I find is funny, and yes, it is poking fun at people like myself which I find to be necessary at times.

After all, if you can't laugh at yourself, you join a whole host of other people who can't either, and that is not a very good group to be associated with.

In case you had not noticed, the entire human race is off the rails, so you have two options, laugh or cry.

It is really up to you.

The Catholic "ex cathedra" one makes no sense.

 

[mikegriffith1]

This is dumb and not at all funny. Please stop posting Babylon Bee because it's the worst.

It is funny. Go buy a sense of humor.

 

[Cougarbear]

This is dumb and not at all funny. Please stop posting Babylon Bee because it's the worst.

Must be Muslim because of no humor. Just kill the Jews.

 

[BackAgain]

This is dumb and not at all funny. Please stop posting Babylon Bee because it's the worst.

It is normally very funny.

This one was, however, a true dud.

 

[Blaster]

My pickup line is the same for every woman. I just whisper in their ear do you wanna fuck?