Hate or Dislike......

[Bonzi]

... can you hate or dislike someone or "no reason"?
or is there always a reason? maybe a reason you can't consciously identify?

can you WANT to continue to dislike them by shutting them out and not learning more about them?
if so, why would someone want to do that?

 

[saveliberty]

There are only a few personality types really, if you have had a bad experience with a type, chances are you will have a similar experience this time. I doubt no reason really exists, you my not just be conscience of it.

 

[Bonzi]

There are only a few personality types really, if you have had a bad experience with a type, chances are you will have a similar experience this time. I doubt no reason really exists, you my not just be conscience of it.

Do you think in many cases people dislike other people because the view them as a threat? Either to themselves, an established pattern - like being resistant to change. So, they are not really hating the person but rather how that person is impacting them and/or circumstances around them?

 

[Auld Phart]

dunno if it's hate at first sight or not.

they just slap me and walk off.


(and that's no way for grandchildren to act, if you ask me)

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

... can you hate or dislike someone or "no reason"?
or is there always a reason? maybe a reason you can't consciously identify?

can you WANT to continue to dislike them by shutting them out and not learning more about them?
if so, why would someone want to do that?

For me to dislike you for any reason I would have to know you or have seen you do something to make me dislike you in the first place.

Just to dislike someone just because they walked into the room is not reality for me, and yes there are many that do it but it is just stupid to do so.

Now let me touch on the word hate, and the fact you hate someone mean you had feelings for them for your feelings to turn from loving them to hating them and still you have warm feelings for them that could cause the hate to change back to love where as disliking someone is not the same as hate.

If someone dislike you then smile, wink, and tell them to get over it, but if they claim to hate them then tell them it is a love hate relationship and they love to hate you and you know it...

 

[Eaglewings]

I studied a thing called Transference/ Counter Transference for my counseling degree, and many times if there is something about someone that we hate, it is usually something about us that we do not see.
Maybe for some, but I guess there are traits like greed, bigotry , ect. that we can not tolerate.

 

[Auld Phart]

On a serious note, it could be 'training' or 'indoctrination ' from birth.

blacks hate whites, whites hate asians, etc, because that's the way they were brought up.

some can change, takes an effort, some won't try, so the circle is unbroken.

I was lucky, I guess.

not only raised in a multicultural neighborhood, but the family is very multicultural.

 

[Pogo]

... can you hate or dislike someone or "no reason"?
or is there always a reason? maybe a reason you can't consciously identify?

Don't think one can do that for no reason. Hate is a type of interest, and disinterest is the opposite of both love and hate.

can you WANT to continue to dislike them by shutting them out and not learning more about them?
if so, why would someone want to do that?

If one is simply disinterested, one declines to find out about the person or topic. If they consciously avoid learning about them, it means they're afraid of what they might find out. Especially if what they might find out comprises some common ground that would remove their basis for hate.

Works the same way in political topics. I find many are afraid to know the complexities that make their incoming prejudice easy; if they knew the whole story they'd have to start dealing with those complexities. And that would require intellectual work.

 

[saveliberty]

There are only a few personality types really, if you have had a bad experience with a type, chances are you will have a similar experience this time. I doubt no reason really exists, you my not just be conscience of it.

Do you think in many cases people dislike other people because the view them as a threat? Either to themselves, an established pattern - like being resistant to change. So, they are not really hating the person but rather how that person is impacting them and/or circumstances around them?

I am sure that happens in some cases.

 

[Bonzi]

I still say some people just want someone to hate.
If there were no hate or dislike, there would be no drama.

Of course, "real world" hate/dislike is different (I think) than Internet/Message Board hate/dislike

 

[Delta4Embassy]

... can you hate or dislike someone or "no reason"?
or is there always a reason? maybe a reason you can't consciously identify?

can you WANT to continue to dislike them by shutting them out and not learning more about them?
if so, why would someone want to do that?

If you hate someone for no reason you're mentally ill. "Dunno if aliens exist, but I really hate them."

If you hate someone for a bad or flawed reason, you're bigoted. "I hate black people."

If you hate someone for a sensible reason you're knowledgeable and justified. "I hate terrorists."

 

[Bonzi]

What if you hate someone based on a wrong assessment of that person?
And not really wanting to find out more about them, say, out of jealousy or fear?

Where would you classify that?

 

[Delta4Embassy]

What if you hate someone based on a wrong assessment of that person?
And not really wanting to find out more about them, say, out of jealousy or fear?

Where would you classify that?

"I hate my ex's new boyfriend. Had hoped for reconcilliation, but now that seems unlikely."

Probably in the mental illness realm. Some acceptance and healing stage you're stuck in but until you process and finish healing are kinda in the middle of that process and making flawed assesments as a result.

 

[Bonzi]

Dealing with USMB or any kind of internet "community" I think much of it is based on disliking someone because of differences....

Not that that is uncommon in "real life" -

Jealous and feelings of "threatening" of an environment they enjoy "as is" is another big one.

That is why people like to rag on "noobies" or n00bs -