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What time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
A duck walks into a bar with a crocodile beside him... The duck says to the bartender: "Do you serve politicians here?" The bartender says, "Well, of course we do! the President was here just last week." The duck says, "Good, I'll have a beer and my friend will have a politician."
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up