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Grammar Question. Help!

OP
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"He was at his best when he inspired or impassioned. In that wise, his style was the quite eloquence and simplicity of a brewing storm."

There are too many grammar and spelling errors in that one sentence to bother explaining. Hire a ghost writer.

What's this posing all about?
I'm editing now: approaching storm. I now see that brewing cannot take the adjective form in meaning. It's adjective form is always nounal or verbal in meaning, as in brewing industry or a storm is brewing. Thank you. That's actually one of the issues in my notes I needed to verify. I liked brewing storm better in terms of sound and feeling . . . if it were grammatical. I don't follow you about the rest. Inspired and impassioned can take the verbal form and are routinely used just so. I'm writing in the historical past tense and not addressing any one of Paine's works in particular in this case. I'm describing his style in general. Are you suggesting I shift to present tense? That's actually another issue in my notes, namely, "shift tense."

So many?! I see only one of significance in that passage. Posing? Posers don't ask for advice, Donald.
 

ClaireH

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The seems to be another time to go with “simple” instead of stringently addressing the possessive grammatical rule for the sake of a flowing narrative.
Primarily, it’s word order and there’s no way around of using a possessive directly prior to a noun, but the way you’ve worded it at the end you have two correct choices, unless again this will be critiqued by an English teacher. Most English teachers are sticklers with respect to the rules.
 
OP
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“In that wise” or “in that way”? Exceptional use of colorful, not overly used adjectives.
Agree! My first draft is always aimed at expressing the ideas and "the feel" I wish to convey, then trim the fat in the edit. Invectively and strident are so close in meaning as to be redundant. Choose. ". . . his prose was that of a virtuoso" is just fine. "[L]yrical mastery" is redundant. As for the other, "in this wise" is actually in my notes as well, relative to in this manner and in this way. Additionally, my notes read, "strike phrasal expression entirely."

Did we have the same mother in a previous life? LOL!
 
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OP
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Yeah, that really blew the image you're trying to create for yourself!
Wow. Where's all this psychoanalytic hostility coming from? I'm asking for advice, not giving it. LOL!
 

Donald H

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I'm editing now: approaching storm. I now see that brewing cannot take the adjective form in meaning. It's adjective form is always nounal or verbal in meaning, as in brewing industry or a storm is brewing.
'brewing' can work as an adjective, but I would advise to not.
'inspired' can be a verb or an adverb but 'empassioned' can't be a verb. (at least until you can show some reference to such) (same with your use of 'wise'.)

"He was at his best when he inspired or impassioned. In that wise, his style was the quite (quiet) eloquence and simplicity of a brewing storm."
 

ClaireH

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Agree! My first draft is always aimed at expressing the ideas and "the feel" I wish to convey, then trim the fat in the edit. Invectively and strident are so close in meaning as to be redundant. Choose. ". . . his prose was that of a virtuoso" is just fine. "[L]yrical mastery" is redundant. As for the other, "in this wise" is actually in my notes as well, relative to in this manner and in this way. Additionally, my notes read, "strike phrasal expression entirely."

Did we have the same mother in a previous life? LOL!
You have no idea how much you just called out my reality! My mom is a retired English teacher, and she is the personified stickler for grammatical rules! I catch myself correcting my own daughter’s conversational English, but try to keep it at a minimum;)

As a kid, I learned well about using proper English while exhibiting the typical female, teenage angst when corrected. Little did she know at the time I fully embraced it! The best reward? On occasion she’ll now comment, “You are using such precise grammar!” Lol I obviously need to expand my horizons.

I have learned to avoid judging a book by the cover, including how people speak. It’s more important what one says during conversations, yes? Unless of course, we’re talking about written pieces that will be scrutinized.

Okay, one pet peeve I have is that currently on almost all reality shows and various series on Netflix and the like, have almost every character switching up the tried and true “He and I” or “She and I” to “Him and me” or “Her and me” and it’s becoming more than a trend. Arghhh! I don’t know which is more frightening, the fact that I’m becoming more like my mom or that this trend is happening! Lol

One more: What is up with paid writers and the use of ‘bring’ and ‘take’? It’s almost predictable now watching a movie or series that the writer will use bring when it should be take. I’m assuming that various dictionaries will continue to adapt word usage to fit our culture and we’ll lose a few rules here and there.
 
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ClaireH

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Possibly relevant. This man is very interesting in my opinion.

Thanks for that vid… not just informative but funny too. I now understand why a 19 year old uses lol in abundance texting! You think you’re up with the times with what lol means but it doesn’t even mean lol anymore ha! Kind of like suspicious is just sus, and I thought it was short for suspicious but then Wham! I find out it doesn’t even stand for that according to many teenagers… some hidden meaning maybe ha
 

Dadoalex

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Generally, I'm a competent writer, but it recently occurred to me that I might not be using a particular, metaphoric device of simile correctly. For example, which is correct?

Its sound was that of an approaching train.

OR

Its sound was that of an approaching train's.

In other words: His wont was that of a beggar (or beggar's?). . . .

Thanks.
First.
2nd sentence is incomplete.
 
OP
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'brewing' can work as an adjective, but I would advise to not.
'inspired' can be a verb or an adverb but 'empassioned' can't be a verb. (at least until you can show some reference to such) (same with your use of 'wise'.)

"He was at his best when he inspired or impassioned. In that wise, his style was the quite (quiet) eloquence and simplicity of a brewing storm."
Quite is a typo. Overlooked that. Well, empassioned is British English as far as I know and I didn't want to use empassionated. Yuk. I was thinking impassioned as something one can also instill in others via action, but see that's not the case at all. Thanks. Actually, I'm striking in this wise entirely. As I said, I'm editing now, but always try to grow as I hammer out the first draft, expressing the ideas and the feel of things first, as fast as they come to me so I don't lose sight of them. Then I examine each word, phrase and clause. Actually, I'm sure glad I put the context up as I would have been sure to misuse that term based on my understanding. I've never used it that way before, but assumed it was okay.
 

norwegen

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Generally, I'm a competent writer, but it recently occurred to me that I might not be using a particular, metaphoric device of simile correctly. For example, which is correct?

Its sound was that of an approaching train.

OR

Its sound was that of an approaching train's.

In other words: His wont was that of a beggar (or beggar's?). . . .

Thanks.
That depends. Is the train a locomotive or is it the long, flowing lace that trails a wedding gown?
 

Anomalism

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Thanks for that vid… not just informative but funny too. I now understand why a 19 year old uses lol in abundance texting! You think you’re up with the times with what lol means but it doesn’t even mean lol anymore ha! Kind of like suspicious is just sus, and I thought it was short for suspicious but then Wham! I find out it doesn’t even stand for that according to many teenagers… some hidden meaning maybe ha
I think a lot of good linguists would tell you that if a rule is so obscure that most people don't use or even understand it anymore, then it's not actually a rule nor is it necessary. Language evolves, and we should let it. What's important is the ability to convey meaning efficiently. The super nit-picky stuff with language is kind of silly I think.

EDIT: Ain't IS a word!
 
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OP
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'brewing' can work as an adjective, but I would advise to not.
'inspired' can be a verb or an adverb but 'empassioned' can't be a verb. (at least until you can show some reference to such) (same with your use of 'wise'.)

"He was at his best when he inspired or impassioned. In that wise, his style was the quite (quiet) eloquence and simplicity of a brewing storm."
By the way, I have seen impassioned used as a verb many times, but it's always followed by a specific object.
 
OP
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You have no idea how much you just called out my reality! My mom is a retired English teacher, and she is the personified stickler for grammatical rules! I catch myself correcting my own daughter’s conversational English, but try to keep it at a minimum;)

As a kid, I learned well about using proper English while exhibiting the typical female, teenage angst when corrected. Little did she know at the time I fully embraced it! The best reward? On occasion she’ll now comment, “You are using such precise grammar!” Lol I obviously need to expand my horizons.

I have learned to avoid judging a book by the cover, including how people speak. It’s more important what one says during conversations, yes? Unless of course, we’re talking about written pieces that will be scrutinized.

Okay, one pet peeve I have is that currently on almost all reality shows and various series on Netflix and the like, have almost every character switching up the tried and true “He and I” or “She and I” to “Him and me” or “Her and me” and it’s becoming more than a trend. Arghhh! I don’t know which is more frightening, the fact that I’m becoming more like my mom or that this trend is happening! Lol

One more: What is up with paid writers and the use of ‘bring’ and ‘take’? It’s almost predictable now watching a movie or series that the writer will use bring when it should be take. I’m assuming that various dictionaries will continue to adapt word usage to fit our culture and we’ll lose a few rules here and there.
A pet peeve I have is film characters with extensive academic backgrounds using who in the objective case. Either the director missed it or the screenwriter put it in the actor's mouth. It's no big deal when uttered by an actor playing the part of your average joe, and who really cares? But it's jarring when it comes out of the mouth of a character who's supposed to be a professor of literature. Recently, I watched a movie in which such a character made that very error--not just once, but twice! :D
 

ClaireH

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I think a lot of good linguists would tell you that if a rule is so obscure that most people don't use or even understand it anymore, then it's not actually a rule nor is it necessary. Language evolves, and we should let it. What's important is the ability to convey meaning efficiently. The super nit-picky stuff with language is kind of silly I think.

EDIT: Ain't IS a word!
Fully agree…. up to a point;) Society will never be hurt by generational changes in language and how we communicate, unless the objective enhances a lazier society. If a majority believes that it’s just too much trouble to write down two syllable words and cancels all words beyond one syllable, something will have gone awry.
 

Leo123

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Generally, I'm a competent writer, but it recently occurred to me that I might not be using a particular, metaphoric device of simile correctly. For example, which is correct?

Its sound was that of an approaching train.

OR

Its sound was that of an approaching train's.

In other words: His wont was that of a beggar (or beggar's?). . . .

Thanks.
IMO, It depends on whether the speaker is describing a 1st person account or not. "Its sound was that of an approaching train." Puts the speaker at the scene. "Its sound was that of an approaching train's." Could put the speaker in the 2nd or 3rd person describing an incident where they were not physically present.
 

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