Get over it!

[sealybobo]

He lost his wingman in fights. He may know he's permanently outgunned without her.

Throughout the fight I had to keep reminding him I'm saying everything I'm saying out of love. Even though you think I'm being mean. Why would I ever be mean to my father for no good reason? Think about it dad.

He seemed to be in good spirits Saturday and Sunday and didn't go into the woe is me shit. I know he will revert back but that's okay. Just don't over do it.

And it's good for him to know that when he's doing it, I don't give a fuck. The world doesn't give a fuck. Seriously, I don't. Stop it. Move on. Don't be a bitch. Man up dad. It's time to stop this shit. If you can't, then keep it to yourself.

I should have been a therapist.

 

[Grumblenuts]

Reminded me of your dad watching this last night:

Watch Mending the Line | Netflix

A Marine wounded in Afghanistan learns to face his combat trauma through friendship with an older war veteran and the healing practice of fly-fishing.

www.netflix.com

 

[sealybobo]

Reminded me of your dad watching this last night:

Watch Mending the Line | Netflix

A Marine wounded in Afghanistan learns to face his combat trauma through friendship with an older war veteran and the healing practice of fly-fishing.

www.netflix.com

You want to cry? Watch this. 3 minutes



A Greek short film that won an award.

 

[Libby von H]

When is it appropriate to tell someone to get over the loss of a love one? My mom will be dead for 8 years soon and my dad is like groundhog day every time I go over there. I can't take it anymore. We got in a big fight I feel bad but god damn. So tonight I told him a story of how I tried to use the loss of a cat in class to get sympathy in 1st grade and the teacher made an announcement that I lost a cat and then told the class to open up our books to page 6 and we moved on. I quickly realized the world doesn't stop when someone or something dies. It may for you for a day, or week, or month, or even year, but at what point is it not healthy to continue to crying about your loss? And honestly, no one cares. Not even your own kids. You become a burden. I feel like I have to go to my dad's once a week rather than look forward to it. Because he's so negative. And he won't take advice or see a therapist. And I'm not your fucking therapist! I know I'm a dick, but I'm right. And I went over an hour early because I had today off. I should have never done that. I can only take about 1.5 hours of him. I know I shouldn't go over any longer than that. But I showed up at 5:30 and by 7pm we were fighting. Now I feel bad. But I have to stand up and tell him I can't take it and he needs to stop, or get help, because I can't hear it anymore. And for the record, he ghosted his mom 10 years before she died and doesn't talk to his sister. So he's a stubborn man, and it's everyone else's fault. Everyone else is crazy or wrong. He and my mom fought with EVERYONE, but someone they are always the victims. So I know right now he's not feeling bad or guilty or wrong about tonight. He just thinks I'm a total dick. Well I need to show him this


What not to do when you're grieving

1. Live in the past. GUILTY
2. Ideal the person or your previous situation. GUILTY
3. Refuse to make the necessary changes to move forward. GUILTY
4. Dwell in self-pity. ... GUILTY
5. Lose respect for own body… ...
6. Remain withdrawn or run away from your feelings. GUILTY
7. Rely on alcohol and/or other drugs.

He's guilty on 5 of 7

The Jewish and Christian views on grief and death are very helpful. I saw it in my Mother, who lost 2 children. She used to applaud the Jewish view that when you die you get buried quickly , no protracted basically anti-God grief

 

[sealybobo]

Seriously, I've seen it before and STILL I just cried.

 

[sealybobo]

Reminded me of your dad watching this last night:

Watch Mending the Line | Netflix

A Marine wounded in Afghanistan learns to face his combat trauma through friendship with an older war veteran and the healing practice of fly-fishing.

www.netflix.com

Did you watch it? It's especially moving for me because I get frustrated with my dad. Just like that guy did.

Seriously everyone with a parent who annoys them needs to watch this 3 minute video.

 

[Grumblenuts]

Both now. Thanks. No cry, but close.

 

[sealybobo]

Both now. Thanks. No cry, but close.

It also touches me because my mom had Alzheimers. I can't tell you how many times she asked me "Kids?" In other words, when are her grandsons coming over. And if my dad went shopping while I watched her, she asked constantly until he came back "Dad?"

I can see why caregivers in senior living places hit the patients. Very frustrating. God bless the ones who do it and don't snap back like I would.

I had this guy looking at me so nicely. One day I asked if I could change the channel and with the devil in his face said "FUCK YOU!". I wanted to say fuck you back but then it dawned on me, he's sick.

 

[Grumblenuts]

It also touches me because my mom had Alzheimers. I can't tell you how many times she asked me "Kids?" In other words, when are her grandsons coming over. And if my dad went shopping while I watched her, she asked constantly until he came back "Dad?"

I can see why caregivers in senior living places hit the patients. Very frustrating. God bless the ones who do it and don't snap back like I would.

I had this guy looking at me so nicely. One day I asked if I could change the channel and with the devil in his face said "FUCK YOU!". I wanted to say fuck you back but then it dawned on me, he's sick.

My dad went quick. No problem. Mom lingered for more than a decade with dementia / Alzheimer's. Still dealing with a mentally ill daughter. Yep, always gotta keep that in mind. They're sick and often convinced that you're their main problem. Very frustrating. Ah, life.

 

[Magnus]

Did you watch it? It's especially moving for me because I get frustrated with my dad. Just like that guy did.

Seriously everyone with a parent who annoys them needs to watch this 3 minute video.

I have started re-watching The Sopranos on HBO. Melfi advising Tony to deal with his mother? Pure gold.

 

[sealybobo]

I have started re-watching The Sopranos on HBO. Melfi advising Tony to deal with his mother? Pure gold.

My dad is constantly saying "if you were rich like your brother, I'd go to an expensive old folks home". While I appreciate that, I told him "dad, it's your money and I have enough. I did the math on what that money would mean to me and it's only about $2400 a month to me. So instead of $5000 a month it would be $7400 a month. I can still live off $5000 a month"

And that's if I don't want to touch the principal. My nephews are gonna be fine. Better than fine. So he has no excuse.

BUT, I knew telling him to do it would get him to stop passively agressivly threatening me with it. LOL. He aint moving. That's the house he and ma built. It still has all her stuff. He's 80. He won't go to a home until he can't do it by himself anymore. And he still shovels his own driveway. He's got a guy but most of the time, just does it himself.

And my dad's hobby is collecting cans for the 10 cents at local metro, state and county parks. Anyplace where people leave cans. He makes $1000 to $3000 a year doing it. So his $ is building up right now. I don't want him to go to a place that's going to cost minimum $3000 a month. And he would only go to a real good/expensive one.

But I also don't think it's healthy him not having any friends and not going to church. He needs to find an activity. I know if he went to bingo and figured out how to play it, he'd love it. Something to do once a week. He's so stubborn.

 

[Grumblenuts]

 

[Magnus]

Actually, this is a better one... More apt.

 

[Magnus]

My dad is constantly saying "if you were rich like your brother, I'd go to an expensive old folks home". While I appreciate that, I told him "dad, it's your money and I have enough. I did the math on what that money would mean to me and it's only about $2400 a month to me. So instead of $5000 a month it would be $7400 a month. I can still live off $5000 a month"

And that's if I don't want to touch the principal. My nephews are gonna be fine. Better than fine. So he has no excuse.

BUT, I knew telling him to do it would get him to stop passively agressivly threatening me with it. LOL. He aint moving. That's the house he and ma built. It still has all her stuff. He's 80. He won't go to a home until he can't do it by himself anymore. And he still shovels his own driveway. He's got a guy but most of the time, just does it himself.

And my dad's hobby is collecting cans for the 10 cents at local metro, state and county parks. Anyplace where people leave cans. He makes $1000 to $3000 a year doing it. So his $ is building up right now. I don't want him to go to a place that's going to cost minimum $3000 a month. And he would only go to a real good/expensive one.

But I also don't think it's healthy him not having any friends and not going to church. He needs to find an activity. I know if he went to bingo and figured out how to play it, he'd love it. Something to do once a week. He's so stubborn.

It is funny how Tony Soprano has the exact same issue. His mom refuses to move to a "retirement community". I put it in quotes because his mom keeps disparaging it as a "nursing home". I was trying to see if youtube has the episode where Malfi recommends to Tony a book on Elder Care and in the next scene, Tony is reading the book in his titty-bar. Couldn't find it but the whole thing is hilarious.

"Life imitates art far more than art imitates life."
~Oscar Wilde