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Toddler tude: Pimpfants pushes tyke-trash style
By Beth Teitell
Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - Updated: 07:56 AM EST
I cant believe Im saying this, but bring back the My grandma went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt kidswear.
Anythings better than the latest attempt to fashion victimize children: Pimpfants wear. As in pimp plus infant.
Britney wannabes - rev up your credit cards, theres a double-wide load of styles to choose from. Theres the winsome Baby Beater tank tops, the mini basketball uniform with Jr. Pimp Squad across the jersey or the T-shirts that read My Mom Is a MILF. (Id explain MILF, but this is a family newspaper.)
Speaking of families, parents who dress their kids in Pimpfants might as well start saving for pole-dancing lessons - and therapy sessions - now. I could be wrong, but Im pretty sure the kids arent begging for the stuff. But mom, all the other toddlers have Pimpfant onesies.
Where does such design genius come from? I had the pleasure of speaking with the brainchild behind Pimpfants Inc. yesterday, as one Jared Parsons explained his eureka moment. A former skateboarder, he was shopping for clothes for his first son, whos now 5 and quite a fashion plate. I wanted him to dress how me and my friends dress, Parsons said, but its hard to find baby clothes like that. Gee, I wonder why. Parsons and his friends use the word pimp to mean styling, he explained, and just as he was wishing he could buy his infant some styling clothes it came to him: Pimpfants. Wow, he said to himself, thats a really good idea.
How good? Well yesterday, after word of Pimpfants wear hit the Drudge Report Web site, the server got more hits than it could handle.
Parsons sounded so nice I almost felt bad asking him about, you know, matters of taste. We are getting a lot of positive feedback, he said. And those who are horrified at the thought of a child wearing a shirt that says pimp?
Its simply a matter of understanding the new lingo. A lot of people have trouble thinking of the word pimp without associating it with someone on the street.
Funny, that.
Meanwhile, Parsons said he plans to introduce some new, top-secret designs at a trade show in - where else? - Las Vegas in August. I dont know about you, but Im hoping for some chewing tobacco in strained-pea flavor, a baby-bottle cap based on those beer hats that hold two cans and deliver the goods via hose to the wearers mouth, and a mullet toupee for the baby without hair.
If I had a bit more gumption, Id put together a Pimpfant-wearing infant rap group. You know, TWA - Toddlers With Attitude.
Abbey Normal said:So what does MILF stand for?
Abbey Normal said:So what does MILF stand for?
Avatar4321 said:You really are old arent you
seriously though i cant believe any woman would want their baby wearing a shirt that says that the kid wants to be that intimate with her.
Abbey Normal said:Old, or perhaps I run in less crude circles.
Avatar4321 said:No i envy you. I wish i didnt know what it meant. Society is trashy today. But its what I have to live with. The scary thing is that sometimes we get so caught up in the culture we dont see when we are being truly crappy.
Abbey Normal said:Sometimes it seems like crude behavior is the the norm now, even with young girls. Perhaps the pendulum will swing back to people acting with some decorum and dignity?
insein said:Things go in cycles. So i can see a backlash occuring at some point. It has to. We can't keep having "dumb sluts" growing up and becoming moms. Thats what is ruining the family structure. Idiot girls that think they can have sex with any guy they want and have a kid because they are independent. Kid grows up. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Excuse me, DNA tests and garnishment.jillian said:You're part right. You left out the part about the guys who can't be bothered to wear a condom and get these girls pregnant and then split without paying child support.
But no double standards there, huh?
jillian said:You're part right. You left out the part about the guys who can't be bothered to wear a condom and get these girls pregnant and then split without paying child support.
But no double standards there, huh?
Kathianne said:Excuse me, DNA tests and garnishment.
In 2000, only about 35 percent of female-headed families with children reported receiving child support or alimony payments.
jillian said:You're part right. You left out the part about the guys who can't be bothered to wear a condom and get these girls pregnant and then split without paying child support.
But no double standards there, huh?
insein said:So i guess all these guys raped the women then. Because how else could these chicks allow them to have sex with them?
Women have the power. Men are going to have sex with as many women as possible. It's their nature. Women are the ones that can tell them no or at least to where a condom. What needs to happen to change the problem is to end mandatory government payments of child support. This is the only way to keep these women from having sex and getting pregnant. Sure kids are going to be hurt as well as many women, but its the only way to solve the problem.
Making the men pay child support doesnt do anything except reassure women that there is a safety net if they have sex with any guy they want unprotected. What happens when the guy is a dead beat and has no money to pay? Sure he goes to jail but the women gets nothing. Not really a good situation then is it?
Women have the power. The only way a women gets pregnant when they didnt want to is for them to be raped.
Avatar4321 said:Why should guys be bothered to wear a condom? They shouldnt be trying to do any activity where it would be necessary
jillian said:So they should engage in the activity WITHOUT condoms? Regardless of what you might *think* the guys should do, they aren't abstaining or the women wouldn't be getting pregnant, no?
Avatar4321 said:You seem to be missing the point. The point isnt they should be engaging in activities without condoms. The point is they shouldnt be engaging in activities to begin with!
