I mean this is not the woman that a guy gets up in the morning and asks, "Honey..........Where are my socks?" This is not the woman that watches him scratch his balls or listens to him burp the Star Spangled Banner.
The more I think about it, this right here.... is exactly the problem.
You can't be a lover and a confidant to a man, because of this.
Now at the exact same time, you turn right around, and can easily do this for your children. Can't you?
Your children, burp, fart, crap their pants, smear food all over the place, pee in your face, roll around in the mud then track it through the house, get sick, have snot all over their face, scream, squeal, yell, cry.... and many more things.
And you have no problem finding time to be with them. No problem loving them. No problem dealing with their faults and failures. No problem cleaning up their clothes. No problem fixing them dinner.
By every possible measure, a man is far less of a problem... and of course he's going to work, putting in 8 to 10 hours, and bringing home a pay check that you then spend to do all those above mentioned things for your child.
But you can't be a lover to him. Can't be a confidant to him. Because he scratched his balls, and burped, and asked you where his socks are.
This is why escorts have a lucrative job. This is why men find other women to be with. This is it right here.
Andy, your posts are very one sided. Women are not your servants. You claim to want sex and intimacy but offer neither. It's all about what YOU want.
Can you support a wife and family without her working? If not, you'd better learn to cook and do housework because if you can't afford to have her stay home and look after your needs don't expect her to work all day and look after the house and kids by herself.
It's YOUR home and they're your children. Even if she is at home full time, you should be doing child care and helping her at home. She's your helpmate not your servant.
The men posting about how there needs aren't being met have not posted one thing about how they would be such a great husband and how they would be such a catch.
Love and sex are reciprocal. So is intimacy. Marriage is a partnership. What are you bringing to the table?
You don't want a woman who helps you grow and achieve your dreams. You want a passive vessel who doesn't ask anything of YOU while she eases your way through life. What's in it for her?
Sorry - I have to respond.
First, my qualifications - I have been married for 49 years. Some were good, some were bad, and some were great. That's how it works. My wife never worked - unless she wanted to - we raised 2 kids, both successful, both college graduates, and both happily married.
But, I must tell you that you personify everything that I detest in most women. Your constant "what's in it for me" attitude, as if you're making some magnificent sacrifice, and your perception that, somehow, your vaunted vagina entitles you to special privileges, or that, somehow, it is a magic permit to avoid YOUR responsibility to the marriage.
Marriage is a 80-80 proposition. Sometimes, he has to give 80% to it, and sometimes, she does. THAT is what marriage is about - about working together to build a happy life and a happy and successful family. It's not about bigger cars, and status symbols, and control.
Why do the majority of women work? Is it because they have to in order to feed their children, or is it because they want to so they can have a bigger tv? I can hear it all already --- she works because he doesn't make "enough" money. What's enough? Enough to have a Lexus? Enough to put shoes on the kids? Or, maybe "enough" is that nebulous amount that allows her to escape delivering on her 80% by claiming she's doing half of HIS 80%.
I know, I know - this is where you drag out the crying towel, and tell me about all those women who work because they are married to shiftless ne'er-do-wells who won't provide for their family. Those exist - but they are the reason some women work - not why MOST women work.
You want to control the relationship - you want to be in charge, you want to control the money, you want to make the decisions - and then, you bitch because he gives up and lets you. Every time he makes a suggestion, or has an idea, you demean it, you crush it. Then, you can't understand why he defers, deflects, and disengages. He didn't marry you so you could be his mother - but you act like her. He fought you - tried to be in charge - but you wouldn't let him, so HE GAVE UP. It's easier just to go along than put up with the emotional upheaval.
Then, somehow, you complain that he doesn't want sex enough - I mean, after all, you're the controller in the relationship, you should get to dictate when, where, and how. Well, I'll let you in on a little secret - he doesn't find you attractive because you act like a man. You're in charge - you tell him what to do, and when to do it - you complain when he has the temerity to challenge your authority. You demean him when he does something you don't like .... and you expect him to be romantically inclined?? It's like sleeping with his boss. He'd rather sleep with his secretary.
Sometimes, the price you make him pay just isn't worth the ever so grandiose gift of being allowed the privilege of sleeping with you. You've killed his pride, his self respect, his sense of self worth. Maybe, instead of bitching about him, you should look in the mirror. Maybe - just maybe - YOU are the problem, not him.
And you couldn't be more wrong. About me or my ex's. In both cases they were the controllers and I gave them whatever they asked for. To the extant that our marriage counsellor asked my husband what he wanted from me and hearing me ex's answer the counsellor (a man), said "She did all of that and you shit on her for that.
I worked to keep a roof over my family's head and food on the table. My first husband's great business idea made so little money I claimed him as a dependant. He refused to care for our children (you wanted kids, you look after them) and came home with social diseases. I threw his ass out.
If I were just "in it for what I could get" I would have taken one of the "trophy wife" offers I had but I wanted someone who genuinely cared about so I married someone who I thought shared the same values of family first, love and fidelity as I did. I couldn't have been more wrong. He spent all of our money on fast cars, which he wrecked.
After our daughter was born, he refused to look for work, spending his afternoons while I was working, at the local strip bar spending our grocery money on his favourites.
Immediately when I posted this was not a strictly male issue, you were very quick to attack me and that was a risk I took in telling my story. Your attack was not unexpected and it is very misogynistic.
You claim to know who and what I am and you know nothing