I like your saying about experiencing real love. I had never experienced real love before I accepted Christ as my savior. That was my first experience with feeling completely - unconditionally - loved by someone. It happened on October 18th, 1989 and 8:58 p.m. He "hooked me" alright! lol...
I am certain that my mother knew about real love--valedictorian of her tiny high school, lived on a farm during the Great Depression and well --The Greatest Generation. My father, grew up in an orphanage--only about 4 when his father died and his mother couldn't take care of her family--I think 2nd generation German immigrants. I always thought that explained a lot his 'rigid ideas' --basically a shy, sensitive man. Hardworking and very, very moral. He loved me and I loved him. But, he said something to my mother's younger sister--'crude, offensive, sexist remark of some kind'--a deeply held family secret. Resulting in 'my other aunt's'--obsession with me. Completely spoiled--a princess of some kind. There is a valid reason for some of that. The younger sister married 'a loser' of some kind--got divorced in the early 40's--unheard of, I suppose. Had nothing but a small salary from a job in Atlanta--no car and she had my cousin to support. My cousin lived with my grandparents on the farm--I was very fortunate in comparison. My father began to have health problems and financial problems--and he became abusive to my mother. My brother was around 4 when things got bad. That sort of love may be 'real'--is very, very real at the present time--but it is not God's way. I really thought if I could endure--go to college and get out--that things would work out. I had mustard seed Faith--and that is what my mother said. That is what I was working with--and my life was unbelievably difficult in every way.
I always wondered--and tried to find out any way I could--what was the secret that the more successful people had. A different kind of Faith--I decided. So I got started--get a little bit further--lapse into the old ways--recover--try again. Oh the joyous 90's--and 2000's--'bipolar'--get antidepressants, get different antidepressants, add additional drugs--some of that has died down. I tried a few--never seemed to work--telling mental health professionals what I thought the problem was---priceless memories.
and a lot more senseless experiences.
'Think for yourself'--that concept was not encouraged in my home--I did it anyway--seething with rage for years. Pressure cooker homes--just no need to wonder what is wrong with the schools or society./gavel
If the world intends to go insane and implode--I will not support any of that. 'Be protective of yourself'--if you have to go into the hottest circles of the Inferno--be proactive. I believe the Army/military understands that well and so should every citizen. Protect your children--and to do that you must lead them in the right direction.
So--now I am going to do what I should have done much earlier in my life. Let others be--and stay focused on what is right for my life. I will take a critical look at every issue. 'filth'--examine every piece, if that is what it takes. The media seems to be 'insane'--yet, what else do they have to report--what is going on. If you 'really listen'--little messages of what is actually working can be found. Not nearly as exciting to the masses.
I can find other ways to find out what is working. lol--Drove around for a while today--learned a good bit. I can see signs of growth. Having informed myself as well as I could on 'what to look for'.
Neal Boortz--quite the paradox. I listened to him--became outraged many times at him, at what he felt he needed to say and I learned well --'To Think for Myself'. free--why not? :>
