Facebook apologizes for 1/6: We put the lives of the politicians we own at risk!

[DrLove]

MENLO PARK (The Borowitz Report)—Apologizing for his company’s role in the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, acknowledged, “We put the lives of politicians we own at risk.”​

​

“At Facebook, we have worked tirelessly to acquire a world-class collection of politicians,” Zuckerberg said. “On January 6th, we recklessly and foolishly endangered that very expensive investment.”​

​

“We can—we must—do better,” Zuckerberg added.​

​

Nick Clegg, the former Deputy Prime Minister of the U.K. who is now a Facebook executive, vouched for Zuckerberg’s sincerity. “As a politician who was purchased by Facebook, I can assure you that Mark is committed to protecting the lives of others in my asset class,” he said.​

​

For his part, Zuckerberg said that Facebook would avoid enabling insurrections going forward and would instead focus on its core business of destroying users’ mental health.​

Facebook Apologizes for January 6th: âWe Put the Lives of Politicians We Own at Riskâ

For his part, Mark Zuckerberg said that Facebook would avoid enabling insurrections going forward.

www.newyorker.com

 

[Moonglow]

Who is this "we" does he have a mouse in his pocket?

 

[Meister]

Who is this "we" does he have a mouse in his pocket?

He borrows your gerbil

 

[theHawk]

​

MENLO PARK (The Borowitz Report)—Apologizing for his company’s role in the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, acknowledged, “We put the lives of politicians we own at risk.”​

​

“At Facebook, we have worked tirelessly to acquire a world-class collection of politicians,” Zuckerberg said. “On January 6th, we recklessly and foolishly endangered that very expensive investment.”​

​

“We can—we must—do better,” Zuckerberg added.​

​

Nick Clegg, the former Deputy Prime Minister of the U.K. who is now a Facebook executive, vouched for Zuckerberg’s sincerity. “As a politician who was purchased by Facebook, I can assure you that Mark is committed to protecting the lives of others in my asset class,” he said.​

​

For his part, Zuckerberg said that Facebook would avoid enabling insurrections going forward and would instead focus on its core business of destroying users’ mental health.​

Facebook Apologizes for January 6th: âWe Put the Lives of Politicians We Own at Riskâ

For his part, Mark Zuckerberg said that Facebook would avoid enabling insurrections going forward.

www.newyorker.com

The fake whistleblower is there so Congress can “act” on taking away freedom of speech on the internet.

“The iNterNets nEeD tO bE reGuLateD mOOre!”

 

[DrLove]

The fake whistleblower is there so Congress can “act” on taking away freedom of speech on the internet.

“The iNterNets nEeD tO bE reGuLateD mOOre!”

Yep, otherwise we end up with dysfunctional idiots like theHawk!