Extending foster care to 21?

[chanel]

Of the roughly 4,500 18-year-olds who will "emancipate" from care in California every year, one quarter will experience homelessness like White's brother.

Last year, Congress authorized giving states matching federal funds to extend foster care until age 21. But the way that law is interpreted could mean that in 27 states, including California and the District of Columbia, 18-year-olds would still be left out in the cold.

California has just battled through a $20 billion budget deficit with measures such as slashing $100 million from the child-welfare system. With an additional $12 billion deficit looming to balance this and next year's budgets, many advocates and administrators see a flush of federal funds as the only real chance for Assembly Bill 12, which would use the newly freed matching federal to extend foster care to 21 for all California foster kids, to get passed and signed by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Unfortunately in its current form, the bill still carries a significant fiscal impact

Extending Foster Care Past Age 18 - Newsweek.com

Why not 26? or 30?

 

[eagleseven]

Because keeping unskilled, angry teenagers in a flawed system for three more years will keep them from going homeless?

What is with California?

 

[chanel]

Well it looks like 27 other states are doing it. In KS, they are guaranteed 4 years of college. Might be worth kicking their ass to the curb at 17. Esp. If granny qualifies as a foster parent.

I just read an article by George Will about LA. He stated that 40 percent of LA county kids are in foster care. 40 percent!!!!

 

[Granny]

Well it looks like 27 other states are doing it. In KS, they are guaranteed 4 years of college. Might be worth kicking their ass to the curb at 17. Esp. If granny qualifies as a foster parent.

I just read an article by George Will about LA. He stated that 40 percent of LA county kids are in foster care. 40 percent!!!!

All of this is just so wrong. While I say it - "When you sign on for parenthood, you sign on for life," I don't think it should be taken in the context that you OWE your kids food, housing, clothing, education, insurance, etc. for the rest of your life. You "... sign on for life" because you're going to love them, worry about them, hope good things for them for the rest of your life. The whole purpose of good parenting is to give your kids the foundation and guidance they need to go forward with their life - minus the apron strings.

Guaranteeing 4 years of college? Is this just for foster kids or for all kids? Damn, I'm glad I don't live in Kansas. That financial burden alone should be enough to break the bank.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

My children are free to live with me forever. I will never kick them out.

 

[Care4all]

you would think, the foster care parents would have developed enough love for the children in their care to help them out finding a job, and taking care of them even if it is after they stop getting paid to do it...?

 

[Granny]

My children are free to live with me forever. I will never kick them out.

I don't know what kind of mother you must think I am ... but I haven't kicked any of my children out. They are all self-sufficient, but they all know that so long as I have a roof over my head they will have a roof, too. There's a difference between doing something you want to do for you children and being forced to do something for them.

Maybe I could set things out in terms you might understand better.

When you were in boot camp, did your DI wash your clothes for you? No.
You learned to wash them yourself.

Did your DI make your bed for you, or let you get away without making your bed, or let you toss your stuff all over the place? No.
You learned to make a tight bed and you damned sure didn't throw stuff all over the barracks - you folded your stuff up neatly and put it in your footlocker.

When you were out on the firing range and couldn't hit a target if it was two feet in front of you, did your DI put his arm around you and say, "Well, that's OK, Buddy, you can try it again tomorrow?" No.
You learned to aim, shoot and hit the damned target because your life and that of the guy next to you depended on it if you were ever in a war zone.

Did your DI ever carry your backpack up a hill for you? Did your DI ever let you sit down and rub your tired, blistered feet? No.
You carried that load on your own back and if you did rub your feet it was when you keeled over on your bed from exhaustion.

Your DI was your "surrogate parent." Everything you learned in boot camp was for your own good, your betterment. You learned to think on your feet, you learned self-control, you learned responsibility, you built a lot of character, you were reliable.

If you retired from the military, you did at least 20 years and I guarantee all of those 20 years were not spent in boot camp being waited on by your DI. You always had a roof over your head even if it was a tent - and you took care of your family when you married and the kids came along.

Those are the same principles of good parenting - you prepare your kids to go out into the world and be able to function on their own. If you coddle them, take care of them, support them well into adulthood - you're not doing them any favors. You're only turning them into weak, selfish, spoiled, lazy, irresponsible adults.

 

[Granny]

you would think, the foster care parents would have developed enough love for the children in their care to help them out finding a job, and taking care of them even if it is after they stop getting paid to do it...?

You would think. Unfortunately, there are a whole lot of foster parents out there who are in it strictly for the money. There are some foster parents who do love the kids, but there are a whole lot of them who have no business being around children in the first place.

Parents should teach children what they need to know or do in order to get a job - but only the child/job applicant can present themselves in a positive light at an interview.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

My children are free to live with me forever. I will never kick them out.

I don't know what kind of mother you must think I am ... but I haven't kicked any of my children out. They are all self-sufficient, but they all know that so long as I have a roof over my head they will have a roof, too. There's a difference between doing something you want to do for you children and being forced to do something for them.

Maybe I could set things out in terms you might understand better.

When you were in boot camp, did your DI wash your clothes for you? No.
You learned to wash them yourself.

Did your DI make your bed for you, or let you get away without making your bed, or let you toss your stuff all over the place? No.
You learned to make a tight bed and you damned sure didn't throw stuff all over the barracks - you folded your stuff up neatly and put it in your footlocker.

When you were out on the firing range and couldn't hit a target if it was two feet in front of you, did your DI put his arm around you and say, "Well, that's OK, Buddy, you can try it again tomorrow?" No.
You learned to aim, shoot and hit the damned target because your life and that of the guy next to you depended on it if you were ever in a war zone.

Did your DI ever carry your backpack up a hill for you? Did your DI ever let you sit down and rub your tired, blistered feet? No.
You carried that load on your own back and if you did rub your feet it was when you keeled over on your bed from exhaustion.

Your DI was your "surrogate parent." Everything you learned in boot camp was for your own good, your betterment. You learned to think on your feet, you learned self-control, you learned responsibility, you built a lot of character, you were reliable.

If you retired from the military, you did at least 20 years and I guarantee all of those 20 years were not spent in boot camp being waited on by your DI. You always had a roof over your head even if it was a tent - and you took care of your family when you married and the kids came along.

Those are the same principles of good parenting - you prepare your kids to go out into the world and be able to function on their own. If you coddle them, take care of them, support them well into adulthood - you're not doing them any favors. You're only turning them into weak, selfish, spoiled, lazy, irresponsible adults.

And I repeat, no matter the circumstances, I will never turn my kids away.

 

[Skull Pilot]

My children are free to live with me forever. I will never kick them out.

You're not helping them by doing that.

My son was taught from the time I deemed him old enough to understand that he would have to get out in the world and support himself.

From his very first job, I helped him set up an IRA to put 10% of his gross pay into. Now he is in the habit and is always mindful of his finances and his obligations.

Just today, he asked me for a ride because his car was in the shop so I drove the 35 mile round trip. When I dropped him off he handed me 10 bucks for gas and said "Thanks, Pop."

He is 19 and I believe I have taught him well. This summer he started his own business. Not much but a contract labor thing but now instead of getting whacked with a self employment tax, he is avoiding it. His car is registered in the business name so he is maximizing his write offs. And he is still putting 10% away every month.

I don't have to support him anymore and what's best is he doesn't want me to.

 

[Granny]

My children are free to live with me forever. I will never kick them out.

I don't know what kind of mother you must think I am ... but I haven't kicked any of my children out. They are all self-sufficient, but they all know that so long as I have a roof over my head they will have a roof, too. There's a difference between doing something you want to do for you children and being forced to do something for them.

Maybe I could set things out in terms you might understand better.

When you were in boot camp, did your DI wash your clothes for you? No.
You learned to wash them yourself.

Did your DI make your bed for you, or let you get away without making your bed, or let you toss your stuff all over the place? No.
You learned to make a tight bed and you damned sure didn't throw stuff all over the barracks - you folded your stuff up neatly and put it in your footlocker.

When you were out on the firing range and couldn't hit a target if it was two feet in front of you, did your DI put his arm around you and say, "Well, that's OK, Buddy, you can try it again tomorrow?" No.
You learned to aim, shoot and hit the damned target because your life and that of the guy next to you depended on it if you were ever in a war zone.

Did your DI ever carry your backpack up a hill for you? Did your DI ever let you sit down and rub your tired, blistered feet? No.
You carried that load on your own back and if you did rub your feet it was when you keeled over on your bed from exhaustion.

Your DI was your "surrogate parent." Everything you learned in boot camp was for your own good, your betterment. You learned to think on your feet, you learned self-control, you learned responsibility, you built a lot of character, you were reliable.

If you retired from the military, you did at least 20 years and I guarantee all of those 20 years were not spent in boot camp being waited on by your DI. You always had a roof over your head even if it was a tent - and you took care of your family when you married and the kids came along.

Those are the same principles of good parenting - you prepare your kids to go out into the world and be able to function on their own. If you coddle them, take care of them, support them well into adulthood - you're not doing them any favors. You're only turning them into weak, selfish, spoiled, lazy, irresponsible adults.

And I repeat, no matter the circumstances, I will never turn my kids away.

So ... what you're implying is that I'm a lousy parent who's totally turned her back on her children and booted them out because they're all over the age of 18? That's what I'd like to know.

 

[jillian]

you would think, the foster care parents would have developed enough love for the children in their care to help them out finding a job, and taking care of them even if it is after they stop getting paid to do it...?

well, yes. on the other hand, if they're getting paid, maybe the kids get encouraged to pursue higher education instead of having to support themselves at 18.

 

[jillian]

I don't know what kind of mother you must think I am ... but I haven't kicked any of my children out. They are all self-sufficient, but they all know that so long as I have a roof over my head they will have a roof, too. There's a difference between doing something you want to do for you children and being forced to do something for them.

Maybe I could set things out in terms you might understand better.

When you were in boot camp, did your DI wash your clothes for you? No.
You learned to wash them yourself.

Did your DI make your bed for you, or let you get away without making your bed, or let you toss your stuff all over the place? No.
You learned to make a tight bed and you damned sure didn't throw stuff all over the barracks - you folded your stuff up neatly and put it in your footlocker.

When you were out on the firing range and couldn't hit a target if it was two feet in front of you, did your DI put his arm around you and say, "Well, that's OK, Buddy, you can try it again tomorrow?" No.
You learned to aim, shoot and hit the damned target because your life and that of the guy next to you depended on it if you were ever in a war zone.

Did your DI ever carry your backpack up a hill for you? Did your DI ever let you sit down and rub your tired, blistered feet? No.
You carried that load on your own back and if you did rub your feet it was when you keeled over on your bed from exhaustion.

Your DI was your "surrogate parent." Everything you learned in boot camp was for your own good, your betterment. You learned to think on your feet, you learned self-control, you learned responsibility, you built a lot of character, you were reliable.

If you retired from the military, you did at least 20 years and I guarantee all of those 20 years were not spent in boot camp being waited on by your DI. You always had a roof over your head even if it was a tent - and you took care of your family when you married and the kids came along.

Those are the same principles of good parenting - you prepare your kids to go out into the world and be able to function on their own. If you coddle them, take care of them, support them well into adulthood - you're not doing them any favors. You're only turning them into weak, selfish, spoiled, lazy, irresponsible adults.

And I repeat, no matter the circumstances, I will never turn my kids away.

So ... what you're implying is that I'm a lousy parent who's totally turned her back on her children and booted them out because they're all over the age of 18? That's what I'd like to know.

its something i would never do. and i always knew that if things went south for me that i could go to my folks. not that i'd want to, but it was very liberating knowing i could no matter what. And I'll make sure my son feels the same way.

 

[Skull Pilot]

you would think, the foster care parents would have developed enough love for the children in their care to help them out finding a job, and taking care of them even if it is after they stop getting paid to do it...?

well, yes. on the other hand, if they're getting paid, maybe the kids get encouraged to pursue higher education instead of having to support themselves at 18.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

One can support himself and pursue an education.

 

[jillian]

you would think, the foster care parents would have developed enough love for the children in their care to help them out finding a job, and taking care of them even if it is after they stop getting paid to do it...?

well, yes. on the other hand, if they're getting paid, maybe the kids get encouraged to pursue higher education instead of having to support themselves at 18.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

One can support himself and pursue an education.

yes. but it's much more difficult, especially with what an education costs now.

 

[Skull Pilot]

well, yes. on the other hand, if they're getting paid, maybe the kids get encouraged to pursue higher education instead of having to support themselves at 18.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

One can support himself and pursue an education.

yes. but it's much more difficult, especially with what an education costs now.

So what if it's difficult. Overcoming difficulties is what builds character.

 

[jillian]

The two are not mutually exclusive.

One can support himself and pursue an education.

yes. but it's much more difficult, especially with what an education costs now.

So what if it's difficult. Overcoming difficulties is what builds character.

i guess that's one way to look at it.

i look at a net societal gain by giving people a helping hand along the way.

i've also seen good and bad come from both ways of doing things. i've seen spoiled useless privileged people. i've seen people who were privileged and ended up being self-sustaining and with a terrific work ethic. i've seen my dad, who started out poor and with nothing, do very well for himself, maybe because of his adversity rather than in spite of it. and i've seen other people who, despite ability, could never quite raise themselves to the next level and ended up bitter and disappointed.

so i'd always err on the side of trying to give a lift. i figure it has a greater result.

 

[Skull Pilot]

yes. but it's much more difficult, especially with what an education costs now.

So what if it's difficult. Overcoming difficulties is what builds character.

i guess that's one way to look at it.

i look at a net societal gain by giving people a helping hand along the way.

So a bunch of pampered so called adults who never had to work for what they have is a societal benefit?

 

[Conspiracist]

you would think, the foster care parents would have developed enough love for the children in their care to help them out finding a job, and taking care of them even if it is after they stop getting paid to do it...?

A friend of mine in highschool was fostered by a woman who had one child and could have no more. She did not want her child to grow up alone so she fostered two brothers.

They lived in the country so travel to jobs was nearly impossible without a car. The day each of them turned 18 she took them to the city and payed their first months rent and kicked them to the curb. These kids were not troublemakers either.

Really sad.