Pedro de San Patricio
Gold Member
I get why the 50/50 model is so popular, with complete egalitarianism being the ideology of the day and all. I think everyone here can agree that a complete down the middle division of responsibility without any kind of predefined roles would be the ideal. The problem is that ideology doesn't mesh well with life by nature. Ideals are clean cut and abstract. Life is visceral and messy - especially in the emotional areas like this. Perfectly implementing those ideals is just not realistically going to happen. There's going to be a constant tug and pull between the partners due to human nature. Humans are always going to be concerned with personal gain and getting the most profit for the least effort. It's healthiest to accept this and build your life on the facts of life rather than abstract ideology.
Having established that, the obvious question is how we go about doing so. I have a simple proposal for that. Let's (us being my fellow men) take what women have been trying to tell us ever since finding a voice through feminism at face value and give it a fair chance with a system designed specifically to accommodate it. More explicitly, let's take the system we have now, gut it, and rebuild it from the inside out. The first step in this would be to transfer every female gender role to ourselves. Under this new model, traditional masculine responsibilities such as earning an income and providing for his family remain a man's responsibility and are joined by all of the traditional feminine roles such as housework and childcare. All responsibility is now placed upon him. Notice that I didn't say "part of", as many of the more moderated feminist proposals call for. I said "all" and I meant it.
This leaves another obvious question: What expectations are there for her? There's a simple answer for this as well: None. Without any predefined responsibility, she is now free to choose her own role entirely for herself and without any outside influence, whether from her partner or wider society. She can now make any choice she likes for what she judges to be her highest self interest without any binding obligation to anyone. She may choose to work. If she does, then great. She now has an independent income which she may choose to spend on whatever she likes. If not, then that's fine too. He's already earning an income for the both of them. She may choose to stay home and do housework. If she does, then great. That's less work on him to do in his leisure time. If not, then that's okay too since the upkeep of the home is his responsibility to begin with. She may choose to take care of any children she has decided to have. If she does, then great. There won't be need to hire someone to do it while he's otherwise occupied. If not, then there's no pressure since their welfare is ultimately on him anyway.
You can say that this attempt to craft abstract feminist thought into a practical system for both genders is less than sincere. I assure you that it's absolutely sincere and how I'll personally take every future relationship from here out. You can say it doesn't treat you as an adult. This is false. It simply gives you total freedom by allowing you to choose for yourself what you can contribute and how much you are willing to invest. You can say it doesn't seem fair. You're right. As an explicitly one-way system, it's not designed to be fair. It's designed to afford her unfettered and absolute choice and hopefully make the relationship healthier and more successful for both partners. It's not like it could be less of a failure than our current system, which sees a 50% divorce rate mostly driven by female unhappiness with it.
Having established that, the obvious question is how we go about doing so. I have a simple proposal for that. Let's (us being my fellow men) take what women have been trying to tell us ever since finding a voice through feminism at face value and give it a fair chance with a system designed specifically to accommodate it. More explicitly, let's take the system we have now, gut it, and rebuild it from the inside out. The first step in this would be to transfer every female gender role to ourselves. Under this new model, traditional masculine responsibilities such as earning an income and providing for his family remain a man's responsibility and are joined by all of the traditional feminine roles such as housework and childcare. All responsibility is now placed upon him. Notice that I didn't say "part of", as many of the more moderated feminist proposals call for. I said "all" and I meant it.
This leaves another obvious question: What expectations are there for her? There's a simple answer for this as well: None. Without any predefined responsibility, she is now free to choose her own role entirely for herself and without any outside influence, whether from her partner or wider society. She can now make any choice she likes for what she judges to be her highest self interest without any binding obligation to anyone. She may choose to work. If she does, then great. She now has an independent income which she may choose to spend on whatever she likes. If not, then that's fine too. He's already earning an income for the both of them. She may choose to stay home and do housework. If she does, then great. That's less work on him to do in his leisure time. If not, then that's okay too since the upkeep of the home is his responsibility to begin with. She may choose to take care of any children she has decided to have. If she does, then great. There won't be need to hire someone to do it while he's otherwise occupied. If not, then there's no pressure since their welfare is ultimately on him anyway.
You can say that this attempt to craft abstract feminist thought into a practical system for both genders is less than sincere. I assure you that it's absolutely sincere and how I'll personally take every future relationship from here out. You can say it doesn't treat you as an adult. This is false. It simply gives you total freedom by allowing you to choose for yourself what you can contribute and how much you are willing to invest. You can say it doesn't seem fair. You're right. As an explicitly one-way system, it's not designed to be fair. It's designed to afford her unfettered and absolute choice and hopefully make the relationship healthier and more successful for both partners. It's not like it could be less of a failure than our current system, which sees a 50% divorce rate mostly driven by female unhappiness with it.
