CDZ Emotional Vampires

[pillars]

Let them ruin somebody else's life. Life is too short. Avoid them, don't call them back, you are busy right now, you have to arrange your sock drawer, etc. etc.

I agree, but sadly, it seems that once you've unwittingly let them in, it's very difficult to get rid of them.

It's not at all difficult to get rid of them, if you actually stop engaging. Stop being polite.

What is the worst that would happen?

 

[oldsoul]

Let them ruin somebody else's life. Life is too short. Avoid them, don't call them back, you are busy right now, you have to arrange your sock drawer, etc. etc.

I agree, but sadly, it seems that once you've unwittingly let them in, it's very difficult to get rid of them.

If they are toxic you are better off doing whatever you need to do. No, I'm not suggesting a trip to the woods with a shovel but you can explain you aren't a good match. Even if they are a sibling.

Thanks Ice, but I've tried everything short of telling her literally to take a hike. I've refused every single invite to social engagements over the last few months, and there have been many. She still doesn't get it.

Sounds like it's time to throw down the take a hike card then. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Yes, I think that's where I'm at. Trouble is she's a neighbour, and I do try not to fall out with neighbours. But I can't tolerate any more of her woe is me, limpet, sad puppy dog manipulative behaviour.

I've been there. Trouble WAS she is my Mother. One does not know emotional pain until they have "disowned" their own mother. Had to be done though, she was sucking the life and drive out of me.

My advice, write her a letter. Tell her you what nothing to do with her, and tell her why. It will be rough for a while, she may even try to get other neigbours "on her side". Resist at all costs. Trust me, you will be better off, and you'll know who you can trust in the area. This is a drastic move, but short of moving, it's really your only option left.

I wish you luck and strenth.

 

[oldsoul]

Let them ruin somebody else's life. Life is too short. Avoid them, don't call them back, you are busy right now, you have to arrange your sock drawer, etc. etc.

I agree, but sadly, it seems that once you've unwittingly let them in, it's very difficult to get rid of them.

It's not at all difficult to get rid of them, if you actually stop engaging. Stop being polite.

What is the worst that would happen?

That would be the exact wrong thing to do, you would be feeding the monster, not killing it. Be polite, be direct, and be strong. Above all, let her know in no uncertain terms she is not to contact you for ANY reason. Period.

 

[Tilly]

I agree, but sadly, it seems that once you've unwittingly let them in, it's very difficult to get rid of them.

If they are toxic you are better off doing whatever you need to do. No, I'm not suggesting a trip to the woods with a shovel but you can explain you aren't a good match. Even if they are a sibling.

Thanks Ice, but I've tried everything short of telling her literally to take a hike. I've refused every single invite to social engagements over the last few months, and there have been many. She still doesn't get it.

Sounds like it's time to throw down the take a hike card then. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Yes, I think that's where I'm at. Trouble is she's a neighbour, and I do try not to fall out with neighbours. But I can't tolerate any more of her woe is me, limpet, sad puppy dog manipulative behaviour.

I've been there. Trouble WAS she is my Mother. One does not know emotional pain until they have "disowned" their own mother. Had to be done though, she was sucking the life and drive out of me.

My advice, write her a letter. Tell her you what nothing to do with her, and tell her why. It will be rough for a while, she may even try to get other neigbours "on her side". Resist at all costs. Trust me, you will be better off, and you'll know who you can trust in the area. This is a drastic move, but short of moving, it's really your only option left.

I wish you luck and strenth.

Thank you so much Old Soul. That sounds like the way to go. It's bad enough when it's a neighbour or friend, but I can't imagine how terrible it must be when it's your mother or a sibling. Thanks.

 

[Iceweasel]

In my case it was my mom too. I didn't want to end up dead like two brothers so I had to move on....

 

[pillars]

Does your neighbor post on this forum? Because this thread seems designed to send a message to someone on this forum.

 

[The Great Goose]

It's the only people i ever meet.

That sucks.

Yes it does. Years of evil people. And im not exagerating.

Good people leave me alone. Bad people come after me. It's been tough.

That sounds dreadful. Who are these people, and why do they make a beeline for you?

They are just predatory lowlifes. They come for me because of my good soul. They seek to warm their snakey selves by my fire. It's horrible. I have so much negative energy in me from these lowlifes.

i jjst pray, and God always scrapes me through.

Can't you tell them to take a hike?

I do.

 

[Tilly]

Does your neighbor post on this forum? Because this thread seems designed to send a message to someone on this forum.

Don't let your paranoia get the better of you, pills.

 

[Tilly]

In my case it was my mom too. I didn't want to end up dead like two brothers so I had to move on....

That's terrible, Ice. I'm glad you were able to do what was necessary.

 

[pillars]

I'm not the one posting about emotional vampires. ​

 

[Tilly]

I'm not the one posting about emotional vampires. ​

This is the CDZ, pills. If you have nothing to contribute, you know what to do.

 

[pillars]

I've contributed quite a bit to this thread. I advised you to wear garlic, and to cut the person out of your life, even being impolite if need be.

Do you plan to take my advice?

 

[The Great Goose]

At this level, an energy vampire will leave you feeling drained and exhausted and may even be dangerous to your health. Toxic vampires can skew your entire reality and swallow up your identity. They can groom you into illegal or immoral activities or bully and berate you until you are a shell of your former self. They are to be avoided at all costs, even if you are highly resilient -- after all, it's your survival that's at stake here. Think Bernie Madoff, Muammar Gaddafi, Robert Mugabe and the ilk and get out as fast as you can. The cost of an association with this kind of vampire will outweigh many times over the cost of getting out, no matter how difficult it seems at the time.

Sounds like the vast overwealming amount of people in Sydney.

 

[Tilly]

I'm not the one posting about emotional vampires. ​

This is the CDZ, pills. If you have nothing to contribute, you know what to do.

It's not good form to use the CDZ to attack people.

My neighbour knows nothing about it and isn't being attacked. So what's your point?

 

[pillars]

So, how do you plan to address your "neighbor." Are you going to write her a letter? Or maybe just start excusing yourself when she tries to engage with you? Or, maybe, you can "ignore" her. Ignoring is always good when trying to block a psychic vampire.

 

[Tilly]

I'm not the one posting about emotional vampires. ​

This is the CDZ, pills. If you have nothing to contribute, you know what to do.

It's not good form to use the CDZ to attack people.

My neighbour knows nothing about it and isn't being attacked. So what's your point?

Your neighbor doesn't know you view him or her as an "emotional vampire"? Maybe so. Perhaps, they can tell something. Dishonesty?

My neighbour is unaware I'm posting in the CDZ, so what exactly are you saying is not good form?

 

[Tilly]

So, how do you plan to address your "neighbor." Are you going to write her a letter? Or maybe just start excusing yourself when she tries to engage with you? Or, maybe, you can "ignore" her. Ignoring is always good when trying to block a psychic vampire.

If you could only follow the thread you would know.

 

[pillars]

So, how do you plan to address your "neighbor." Are you going to write her a letter? Or maybe just start excusing yourself when she tries to engage with you? Or, maybe, you can "ignore" her. Ignoring is always good when trying to block a psychic vampire.

If you could only follow the thread you would know.

I have followed the thread, I was asking--politely--what conclusions you've drawn from the advice you've been given, and your plan of action moving forward.

 

[Tilly]

So, how do you plan to address your "neighbor." Are you going to write her a letter? Or maybe just start excusing yourself when she tries to engage with you? Or, maybe, you can "ignore" her. Ignoring is always good when trying to block a psychic vampire.

If you could only follow the thread you would know.

I have followed the thread, I was asking--politely--what conclusions you've drawn from the advice you've been given, and your plan of action moving forward.

Read the posts and it will all become clear to you, pills. It's all there in black and white. No Blackburn or London to get confused over either.

 

[pillars]

Frienship is reciprocal. I know what it's like to have my listening skills abused. My kids mom, an addict, would like to be my "friend", but what does she actually have to offer me and her kids right now? Nothing.

Emotional vampires are people who expect you to publically shut up about your own needs while continuously taking care of them.

Have you ever considered going to al-anon to get some support in dealing with this person? I have a person in my life who is an addict, and I'm thinking about going to al-anon, as well, but have never attended a meeting.