Dr Fauci reports that alcohol may help people survive Trump's virus briefings!

[JackOfNoTrades]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

This isn't funny anymore.

Stop being a prick, for the love of God, or whatever the hell you cherish.

Then start questioning the competence of your leaders..specifically, the guy at the top. Do you really think the reality game show host is fit to lead this country?
We can debate Pence's religious leanings but he's a politician. He knows what government is supposed to do. He'd be a marked improvement over the absolute abortion that sits in the chair now.

When did you get elected?

I didn't. Just emoting common sense. Something that is sorely lacking on the right hand side of the aisle over the last 25 years or so.

It is readily apparent that you are an example of an abortion that somehow survived.

Could be. You never know..but..better an abortion than a mindless, Trump loving, alt-right serving, People's Temple dweller.
I'll be a mass of oozing goo..but you'll be a servant to the alt-right on your knees...(Is that you John Wayne, is this me??).

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

This isn't funny anymore.

Stop being a prick, for the love of God, or whatever the hell you cherish.

Then start questioning the competence of your leaders..specifically, the guy at the top. Do you really think the reality game show host is fit to lead this country?
We can debate Pence's religious leanings but he's a politician. He knows what government is supposed to do. He'd be a marked improvement over the absolute abortion that sits in the chair now.

When did you get elected?

I didn't. Just emoting common sense. Something that is sorely lacking on the right hand side of the aisle over the last 25 years or so.

It is readily apparent that you are an example of an abortion that somehow survived.

Could be. You never know..but..better an abortion than a mindless, Trump loving, alt-right serving, People's Temple dweller.
I'll be a mass of oozing goo..but you'll be a servant to the alt-right on your knees...(Is that you John Wayne, is this me??).

So, you have no argument just the mindless BS of a libtard. Thank you and good luck in your future meaningless endeavors, you f-ing dumbass!

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Then start questioning the competence of your leaders..specifically, the guy at the top. Do you really think the reality game show host is fit to lead this country?
We can debate Pence's religious leanings but he's a politician. He knows what government is supposed to do. He'd be a marked improvement over the absolute abortion that sits in the chair now.

When did you get elected?

I didn't. Just emoting common sense. Something that is sorely lacking on the right hand side of the aisle over the last 25 years or so.

It is readily apparent that you are an example of an abortion that somehow survived.

Could be. You never know..but..better an abortion than a mindless, Trump loving, alt-right serving, People's Temple dweller.
I'll be a mass of oozing goo..but you'll be a servant to the alt-right on your knees...(Is that you John Wayne, is this me??).

So, you have no argument just the mindless BS of a libtard. Thank you and good luck in your future meaningless endeavors, you f-ing dumbass!

WTF?? Dr. Fauci recommended alcohol. Go on, imbibe. It will numb your mind against the orange virus that is causing your Trump Defense Syndrome.
He's a fuck up. Deal with it. It would be better if you just admit he's a fraud. I understand your worship of him. He's comforted you. He'll defend our borders against the dark menace from shithole countries...ah jeez, even I can't finish it without laughing.

Carry on. MAWA.

 

[DrLove]

I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself

~S~

I say NOOOO!!!

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

This isn't funny anymore.

Stop being a prick, for the love of God, or whatever the hell you cherish.

I'm part of the Commie Deep State Cabal - And I'll say whatever I fucking want.

This is SATIRE forum. Piss off if ya no likee!!

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

When did you get elected?

I didn't. Just emoting common sense. Something that is sorely lacking on the right hand side of the aisle over the last 25 years or so.

It is readily apparent that you are an example of an abortion that somehow survived.

Could be. You never know..but..better an abortion than a mindless, Trump loving, alt-right serving, People's Temple dweller.
I'll be a mass of oozing goo..but you'll be a servant to the alt-right on your knees...(Is that you John Wayne, is this me??).

So, you have no argument just the mindless BS of a libtard. Thank you and good luck in your future meaningless endeavors, you f-ing dumbass!

WTF?? Dr. Fauci recommended alcohol. Go on, imbibe. It will numb your mind against the orange virus that is causing your Trump Defense Syndrome.
He's a fuck up. Deal with it. It would be better if you just admit he's a fraud. I understand your worship of him. He's comforted you. He'll defend our borders against the dark menace from shithole countries...ah jeez, even I can't finish it without laughing.

Carry on. MAWA.

You are a worthless MF! I cannot drink alcohol for various health reasons. You just repeated a lie without a thought. You should shut your cock holster and go somewhere private and play with yourself while dreaming that you are fellating Chuckie Schumer or Adam Schiff.

 

[sparky]

So, you have no argument just the mindless BS of a libtard. Thank you and good luck in your future meaningless endeavors, you f-ing dumbass!

You dont remember us
But we remember you
It was not so long ago
Our chat was broke in two

Tears on my postings
Pain when i type
Caused by yooooouuuuooooo.....

If we could start anew
and you'd capitulate
We'd glady have your back
And tempt the hand of fate

Tears on my postings
Pain when i type
Caused by yoooouuuooooo

~S~ w/apologies to 'lil Anthony

 

[mudwhistle]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

Fauci is a little twerp.
Saw him being interviewed on Faux Noise the other day and he's rubbing his hands together like Dr Evil.

 

[sparky]

You are a worthless MF

shut your cock holster

They're gonna post me in the forums
They're gonna let my ugly side post free
I'll screw up threads because I’m mad and lonely
And all I have to do is post naturally


Well, I bet I can lower the discourse bar
I'll get the likes , cause it can really sell
My toadies all croakin' along so far
'Cause I can post the part so well

Well, I hope you come and read me in the forum
Then I'll know that you will plainly see
The biggest fool to blow chunks in ascii
And all I have to do is post naturally

It's my short pecker and i'm real homely
a cryin' keyboard screed for all to see
I'll play the part but I won't need rehearsing
All I have to do is post naturally

~S~ w/apologies to Mr Owens

 

[mudwhistle]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

This isn't funny anymore.

Stop being a prick, for the love of God, or whatever the hell you cherish.

What rock have you been living under? It hasn't been funny for going on two months now. Step up. Cast aside the Orange Roughy and forsake your alt-right gods....eh...nevermind. DRINK!!

I have a better idea....why don't you put your thumb up your butt.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

Fauci is a little twerp.
Saw him being interviewed on Faux Noise the other day and he's rubbing his hands together like Dr Evil.

Calling the expert that slapped the training wheels on Trump a twerp? Damn, could you be any more douchey (Steve Doucey??).
Honestly, he's bailing your dear leader out of every sinkhole that Trump dug without once throwing him under the wheels of the bus he so deserves to be thrown under?

What an ungrateful ignoramus, Mr Spock. And I am SURE it is time for a colorful metaphor!!

 

[Uncensored2008]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

Fetal Alcohol syndrome is the cause of leftism in many cases....

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

This isn't funny anymore.

Stop being a prick, for the love of God, or whatever the hell you cherish.

What rock have you been living under? It hasn't been funny for going on two months now. Step up. Cast aside the Orange Roughy and forsake your alt-right gods....eh...nevermind. DRINK!!

I have a better idea....why don't you put your thumb up your butt.

Awww Muddy - Is that SERIOUSLY the best ya got? Sad man

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

Fauci is a little twerp.
Saw him being interviewed on Faux Noise the other day and he's rubbing his hands together like Dr Evil.

In an intellectual realm, the Lil Twerp would throttle your sad ass to hell and back.

 

[sparky]

Fact Check: Weed kills coronavirus? Vivek Agnihotri shares scientific misinformation via meme

~S~

 

[Hellbilly]

I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself

~S~

With apologies to George..."One bourbon, one scotch, one beer".

It was actually written by Rudy Toombs

 

[mudwhistle]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

This isn't funny anymore.

Stop being a prick, for the love of God, or whatever the hell you cherish.

What rock have you been living under? It hasn't been funny for going on two months now. Step up. Cast aside the Orange Roughy and forsake your alt-right gods....eh...nevermind. DRINK!!

I have a better idea....why don't you put your thumb up your butt.

Awww Muddy - Is that SERIOUSLY the best ya got? Sad man

You're not worth my best.
I would say I'd like to shove sump-thing else up....but that would get me banned.....and I don't feel like being banned because of a worthless bucket of piss like you.

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

This isn't funny anymore.

Stop being a prick, for the love of God, or whatever the hell you cherish.

What rock have you been living under? It hasn't been funny for going on two months now. Step up. Cast aside the Orange Roughy and forsake your alt-right gods....eh...nevermind. DRINK!!

I have a better idea....why don't you put your thumb up your butt.

Awww Muddy - Is that SERIOUSLY the best ya got? Sad man

You're not worth my best.
I would say I'd like to shove sump-thing else up....but that would get me banned.....and I don't feel like being banned because of a worthless bucket of piss like you.

Anyone who invokes John Wayne (or any other misogynist up to current POTUS) is a FUKING IDIOT.

You qualify as such and see ya Muddy Bucket ... You've nothing EVER to contribute to civil, intelligent discourse.

Ta Ta!!

 

[bendog]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.​

​

Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.​

​

“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.​

​

The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”​

​

But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”​

​

Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.​

Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

I've tried it. It's of no help.

 

[DrLove]

You also need some healthy food
View attachment 314161 View attachment 314162

Awwright....stock bar. Time to get creative. Redneck rampage of booze. After one or two drinks..it all tastes the same.

I tried Dr Fauci's idea yesterday. After a triple Clamato/ Tito's bloody Mary, the lies were less stressful.