Father/Adrian: Yep, the Lord sure did say a lot of hibbity jibbity bibbity swibbity...but, has he ever really done anything for any of us? Has he ever put a Jaguar XJR in my driveway? No.
Man: I love that car.
Father/Adrian: Has the Lord given any of my enemies the Herpes?
Man: (laughing)The Herpes?
Father/Adrian: No!
Woman: The Lord gave my son the strength to get off drugs!
[congregation cheers]
Father/Adrian: Ma'am, I know your son. And believe me, he was better off on the drugs. At least when he was smoking hasish he used to make me laugh occasionally.
Man: After we tried for many years, the Lord finally helped my wife conceive a baby.
Father/Adrian: No, no, no. Your best friend, Fitzy, helped your wife conceive a baby. He helped her conceive it all night long!
Fitzy: Hey, hey, hey!
Father/Adrian: How 'bout you, Mayor? Has the Lord ever done anything for you?
Mayor/Cassius: Well, you know, I...I wished I could think of something, but to be honest with you, I can't! I can't think of a damn thing he's ever done for me! Kinda makes you wonder if there even is a Lord. If there even is an ultimate punishment for our so-called sins! Why don't we all just have fun and do whatever the hell we want?! Hey, hey!
Father/Adrian: Let the sin begin!
Cassius: [thinking]"Let the sin begin!" That was a good one!
Adrian: [thinking] This is so much fun! I never want it to end!
