Disciplining Your Children

[random3434]

Hey you parents out there. What are ways you discipline your child/children, and what do you find to be most effective?

Please state the ages too, in case other parents would want to use your "tips"

 

[Agnapostate]

Swat with the double-bolt switch and assign an extra round of farming chores.

Ah, the bad old days...

 

[Annie]

Hey you parents out there. What are ways you discipline your child/children, and what do you find to be most effective?

Please state the ages too, in case other parents would want to use your "tips"

:kneeling: Lord, please help get us some hope that the parents are getting 'it'. We want to help the kids, but need parents help!

 

[random3434]

Hey you parents out there. What are ways you discipline your child/children, and what do you find to be most effective?

Please state the ages too, in case other parents would want to use your "tips"

:kneeling: Lord, please help get us some hope that the parents are getting 'it'. We want to help the kids, but need parents help!

Is that some sort of "teachers prayer?"

 

[catzmeow]

Personally, I find that Cline & Fay's Parenting with Love & Logic can't be beat. I use their strategies daily with my kids.

http://www.loveandlogic.com/articles.html - great stuff.

 

[random3434]

Personally, I find that Cline & Fay's Parenting with Love & Logic can't be beat. I use their strategies daily with my kids.

Love and Logic Articles for Parents and Teachers - great stuff.

I googled an article about it in case anyone's interested.


Parenting With Love and Logic

 

[catzmeow]

Basically, Cline and Fay teach a method of actions = consequences parenting, rather than focusing on punishment/reward. Teaching kids to have their own boundaries, rather than forcing the parents' boundaries on the child.

I was talking to my neighbor tonight, and he was telling how my daughter seems older than 15, that she's so well-balanced and common sense. I think that Cline & Fay have a lot to do with that.

 

[Agnapostate]

This article provides an interesting insight into "consensual living." I used to think it was stupid hippie bullshit, but it actually seems more of an embodiment of the "freedom without license" that functions at Summerhill, for instance. You might want to look into Alfie Kohn's work too.

 

[Luissa]

Basically, Cline and Fay teach a method of actions = consequences parenting, rather than focusing on punishment/reward. Teaching kids to have their own boundaries, rather than forcing the parents' boundaries on the child.

I was talking to my neighbor tonight, and he was telling how my daughter seems older than 15, that she's so well-balanced and common sense. I think that Cline & Fay have a lot to do with that.

I had plenty of common sense when I was fifteen, didn't drink, didn't have sex, never got in trouble plus I had fear of my mother. SHe didn't have to do anything just give me that look. I turned twenty one and it all went out the window!
My son is only 16 months so I am still learning myself, he does know after three no's he is getting time out. He actually starting crying when you say the third no. I only really do that when he is playing with plug ins which he has figured out how to get the child safety things off so know there is duck tape on the ones he can reach. I try to stay postive and just redirect him in most other cases but I am still learning. I will have to read the love and logic.

 

[manu1959]

10 and 6.......we are crystal clear back each other without exception and we follow through on any consequenses......

my son lied to my wife....he lost everything in his room and had to buy it all back through chores....

 

[xotoxi]

My three year old really tests my nerves. Generally, I try to hug. Time outs are frequent. Very occasionally a slap on the butt, but I try to refrain from that as much as possible.

 

[xotoxi]

10 and 6.......we are crystal clear back each other without exception and we follow through on any consequenses......

my son lied to my wife....he lost everything in his room and had to buy it all back through chores....

What was the lie? And did he lose his bed too?

 

[manu1959]

10 and 6.......we are crystal clear back each other without exception and we follow through on any consequenses......

my son lied to my wife....he lost everything in his room and had to buy it all back through chores....

What was the lie? And did he lose his bed too?

it was his third strike.....he lied about an event at school to get someone else in trouble .... using mom as a weapon to get pay back ... no you get to keep your bed and clothes and books....all toys are gone.....

actions have consequences.....

 

[Annie]

Hey you parents out there. What are ways you discipline your child/children, and what do you find to be most effective?

Please state the ages too, in case other parents would want to use your "tips"

:kneeling: Lord, please help get us some hope that the parents are getting 'it'. We want to help the kids, but need parents help!

Is that some sort of "teachers prayer?"

Yeah, ad hoc.

 

[Annie]

10 and 6.......we are crystal clear back each other without exception and we follow through on any consequenses......

my son lied to my wife....he lost everything in his room and had to buy it all back through chores....

What was the lie? And did he lose his bed too?

it was his third strike.....he lied about an event at school to get someone else in trouble .... using mom as a weapon to get pay back ... no you get to keep your bed and clothes and books....all toys are gone.....

actions have consequences.....

If only more parents would do. I've kids who actually hang their heads in shame, when I bring up Tocqueville, and the fact that Americans insisted on equal treatment, regardless of station. When I use the example of a cleaning person, how to address them, the kids admit to pulling rank. They are embarrassed, especially when the idea that they might find themselves in that person's place if times don't turn around soon.

Yeah, weird. Cleaning people and the families are concerned about long term employment. What da ya know?

 

[alan1]

From about age 8 until 18, my dad threatening to kick my ass so hard I was gonna where it for a hat kept me in line.

 

[RodISHI]

For mine it always depended on the offense and the age. A stern no usually did the trick from 1 to 3. From 3 to 5 it was usually a spot on the wall where the nose has to stay put for five to twenty minutes depending on the offense (that same punishment works on house dogs in a corner, it's the humility and isolation). 5 to 8, the nose trick usually still worked, a bench or a chair in the corner facing the wall, cruelty such as biting your siblings arm in twenty different spots and leaving wounds would get you a pick your own switch and a swat. 8 up generally very few issues. A grounding or two, backhand for a filthy mouth.

Getting in trouble at school would get you a grounding at home regardless of the offense at school, rare but happened once. Daughter put a rubber in a teachers grade book, suspended for two days, same chair at home for two days during school hours.

The worst punishment either ever got was daughter (17) was grounded for month and half for staying out all night at a friends on a holloween night and not calling home to let me know she was safe.

 

[catzmeow]

it was his third strike.....he lied about an event at school to get someone else in trouble .... using mom as a weapon to get pay back ... no you get to keep your bed and clothes and books....all toys are gone.....

actions have consequences.....

My son slammed his door after repeatedly being asked not to, and lost his door for a month.

The look on his face as his single mom pulled out her tools and pulled his door off the hinges: Priceless.

 

[xsited1]

Take away privileges and/or things. Make it very clear what will be taken away after the 1st event, 2nd, etc.

 

[catzmeow]

I do something called "I owe you a no." I just did it last week. My kids are required to do dishes every afternoon when they get home from school...unload the dishwasher from the night before, and put any leftover dirty dishes in the dishwasher. My son didn't do it, and instead went to his friend's house on Wednesday. I'd been planning to take him out to dinner and to the skate park that night to reward him for good behavior at school (and to spend some quality time with him without his sister). I basically told him, "I wanted to take you, but now I can't, because you didn't follow the rules." Works very well.