Definitely in need of some around here today

[Bootneck]

Hey! Is he blind or blonde? If not, what's he doing in here?

 

[Bootneck]

Now let's get this thread back on track!

A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and pissed on the man’s trouser leg. The man reached into his pocket and took out a dog biscuit. A busybody who had been watching ran up to him and said, “Hey! You shouldn’t do that. The dog will never learn right from wrong if you reward him when he does something like that!”

“I’m not rewarding him,” the blind man retorted. “I’m just trying to find his mouth so I can kick him up the arse.”

 

[Bootneck]

The professor had a lie-detecting chair. Whenever anybody sitting on it told a lie, the chair would open up and the person would fall flat on the floor. As part of his experiment a young brunette came in and sat down. The professor asked her to talk about herself.

"I think," she began, "I'm the most beautiful woman in this region and perhaps even in the whole world." Immediately after she said that, the chair opened up and she landed on her arse. She stormed out and a young blonde was invited to sit on the chair.

She sat down and was invited to talk about herself. "I think..." she began, and suddenly the chair opened up and she fell flat on her arse.

 

[DamnYankee]

a blonde's brain at work
a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

so the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.

She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.
In the morning, the brunette says: "that was fun, we should do it again sometime."

"no way," says the blonde. "i almost got caught."

wtf? Lol!

 

[DamnYankee]

We interrupt this blind, blonde bash....

One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard"

 

[dilloduck]

We interrupt this blind, blonde bash....

One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard"

is that what a scarlette letter gets ya ?

 

[DamnYankee]

We interrupt this blind, blonde bash....

One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard"

is that what a scarlette letter gets ya ?

I wouldn't know anything about that....