Death and Dying

[Dhara]

I just got back from a lecture on Death and Dying. So I guess I could say I'm contemplating advanced directives and how to make life easy for my family when it's time.

My mother had a DNR and it helped with the guilt. She had Alzheimer's disease and could no longer be fed or take water. I was the medical surrogate and I finally made the decision to withhold food and water. I know this is what she wanted but I could barely say it when it came down to making the decision.

That is awesome of you.

I could barely walk when she died. There was a standing order for her brain to be taken for study, so I had to meet the coroner in the morgue at 4 in the morning in unlit hallways. It was all surreal. Tell the medical surrogate not to be alone when making that decision. It is so hard.

Wow. What a loving task you did.

Before medical miracles, people who were extremely ill simply no longer ate or drank. Cancer patients often completely lose their interest in Food & Fluid, and their wishes are respected since they can still speak for themselves. But for those patients who cannot currently voice their wishes, however, others sometimes impose their view of what is on them. The only way to prevent this from happening is to strategically create effective documents while patients still have the capacity to make their own medical decisions.

Thank you for your kindness,
I am grateful that both my father and mother thought to have those documents. I just wish she knew I was telling her "Goodbye" and how much I loved her.

IMO, how you acted during your mother's dying is very loving and the most loving way to say "Goodbye".

 

[Gracie]

I just got back from a lecture on Death and Dying. So I guess I could say I'm contemplating advanced directives and how to make life easy for my family when it's time.

My mother had a DNR and it helped with the guilt. She had Alzheimer's disease and could no longer be fed or take water. I was the medical surrogate and I finally made the decision to withhold food and water. I know this is what she wanted but I could barely say it when it came down to making the decision.

That is awesome of you.

I could barely walk when she died. There was a standing order for her brain to be taken for study, so I had to meet the coroner in the morgue at 4 in the morning in unlit hallways. It was all surreal. Tell the medical surrogate not to be alone when making that decision. It is so hard.

Wow. What a loving task you did.

Before medical miracles, people who were extremely ill simply no longer ate or drank. Cancer patients often completely lose their interest in Food & Fluid, and their wishes are respected since they can still speak for themselves. But for those patients who cannot currently voice their wishes, however, others sometimes impose their view of what is on them. The only way to prevent this from happening is to strategically create effective documents while patients still have the capacity to make their own medical decisions.

Thank you for your kindness,
I am grateful that both my father and mother thought to have those documents. I just wish she knew I was telling her "Goodbye" and how much I loved her.

She knew.

 

[Dhara]

This guy is also supposed to be good:

Being Mortal

 

[Jackson]

My mother had a DNR and it helped with the guilt. She had Alzheimer's disease and could no longer be fed or take water. I was the medical surrogate and I finally made the decision to withhold food and water. I know this is what she wanted but I could barely say it when it came down to making the decision.

That is awesome of you.

I could barely walk when she died. There was a standing order for her brain to be taken for study, so I had to meet the coroner in the morgue at 4 in the morning in unlit hallways. It was all surreal. Tell the medical surrogate not to be alone when making that decision. It is so hard.

Wow. What a loving task you did.

Before medical miracles, people who were extremely ill simply no longer ate or drank. Cancer patients often completely lose their interest in Food & Fluid, and their wishes are respected since they can still speak for themselves. But for those patients who cannot currently voice their wishes, however, others sometimes impose their view of what is on them. The only way to prevent this from happening is to strategically create effective documents while patients still have the capacity to make their own medical decisions.

Thank you for your kindness,
I am grateful that both my father and mother thought to have those documents. I just wish she knew I was telling her "Goodbye" and how much I loved her.

She knew.

Thank you. I am so hoping...

 

[DarkFury]

I worked end stage rehab for 27 years. What's your question?

At what point in a person dying of dementia do you think it would be most helpful to alert caregivers to withhold food and water?

Well IF they are in a state of dementia they are not mentally able to understand the question.
The next of kin or whoever is in charge of that persons affairs needs a directive by that person signed by a witness.

 

[Dhara]

In “Being Mortal,” he takes on a question that everyone faces: How can we make our last days more comfortable, meaningful, and affordable?

Gawande begins by contrasting the final years of his wife’s grandmother in America with those of his own grandfather in India. These two stories illustrate the central paradox that runs throughout “Being Mortal”: Sophisticated medical care does not guarantee and often actually prevents a good end of life. His wife’s grandmother, living in a country where old age is treated as a medical problem and independence is often overvalued, spent a lot of time in hospitals or home alone. Gawande’s grandfather lived on his beloved farm, surrounded by family until his death.

 

[Gracie]

That is awesome of you.

I could barely walk when she died. There was a standing order for her brain to be taken for study, so I had to meet the coroner in the morgue at 4 in the morning in unlit hallways. It was all surreal. Tell the medical surrogate not to be alone when making that decision. It is so hard.

Wow. What a loving task you did.

Before medical miracles, people who were extremely ill simply no longer ate or drank. Cancer patients often completely lose their interest in Food & Fluid, and their wishes are respected since they can still speak for themselves. But for those patients who cannot currently voice their wishes, however, others sometimes impose their view of what is on them. The only way to prevent this from happening is to strategically create effective documents while patients still have the capacity to make their own medical decisions.

Thank you for your kindness,
I am grateful that both my father and mother thought to have those documents. I just wish she knew I was telling her "Goodbye" and how much I loved her.

She knew.

Thank you. I am so hoping...

Trust me. She knew! Her mind may have been gone....but her soul was still there. She knew.

 

[Jackson]

In “Being Mortal,” he takes on a question that everyone faces: How can we make our last days more comfortable, meaningful, and affordable?

Gawande begins by contrasting the final years of his wife’s grandmother in America with those of his own grandfather in India. These two stories illustrate the central paradox that runs throughout “Being Mortal”: Sophisticated medical care does not guarantee and often actually prevents a good end of life. His wife’s grandmother, living in a country where old age is treated as a medical problem and independence is often overvalued, spent a lot of time in hospitals or home alone. Gawande’s grandfather lived on his beloved farm, surrounded by family until his death.

That sounds like something I needed when my parents time was coming close.
To help with the guilt, I recommend that a person freely talks about what a good son or daughter they have so when the time comes, the one mortal and devastating thought will be eliminated...Did I do enough for her/him when they were alive...

 

[Jackson]

I could barely walk when she died. There was a standing order for her brain to be taken for study, so I had to meet the coroner in the morgue at 4 in the morning in unlit hallways. It was all surreal. Tell the medical surrogate not to be alone when making that decision. It is so hard.

Wow. What a loving task you did.

Before medical miracles, people who were extremely ill simply no longer ate or drank. Cancer patients often completely lose their interest in Food & Fluid, and their wishes are respected since they can still speak for themselves. But for those patients who cannot currently voice their wishes, however, others sometimes impose their view of what is on them. The only way to prevent this from happening is to strategically create effective documents while patients still have the capacity to make their own medical decisions.

Thank you for your kindness,
I am grateful that both my father and mother thought to have those documents. I just wish she knew I was telling her "Goodbye" and how much I loved her.

She knew.

Thank you. I am so hoping...

Trust me. She knew! Her mind may have been gone....but her soul was still there. She knew.

Oh, Gracie...I needed to hear that! She wasn't a religious woman and I worried about her, if you know what I mean....

 

[Dhara]

That's why these advanced directives are so helpful. When someone is unconscious or has otherwise "lost their minds" we are not capable of knowing for sure.

 

[Dhara]

Wow. What a loving task you did.

Before medical miracles, people who were extremely ill simply no longer ate or drank. Cancer patients often completely lose their interest in Food & Fluid, and their wishes are respected since they can still speak for themselves. But for those patients who cannot currently voice their wishes, however, others sometimes impose their view of what is on them. The only way to prevent this from happening is to strategically create effective documents while patients still have the capacity to make their own medical decisions.

Thank you for your kindness,
I am grateful that both my father and mother thought to have those documents. I just wish she knew I was telling her "Goodbye" and how much I loved her.

She knew.

Thank you. I am so hoping...

Trust me. She knew! Her mind may have been gone....but her soul was still there. She knew.

Oh, Gracie...I needed to hear that! She wasn't a religious woman and I worried about her, if you know what I mean....

The fact of how your mother died, IMO shows that even though she wasn't religious you helped her to die well. Your loving attention and your faith helped her.

 

[skye]

Death sure if its in a natural way....sickness ..etc....


if you killed yourself.....you will live in Hell for an Eternity



No killing yourself is allowed.....just a warning



idiots who kill themselves think they will end it all?

wrong

they will suffer more than they ever thought

 

[Gracie]

Death sure if its in a natural way....sickness ..etc....


if you killed yourself.....you will live in Hell for an Eternity



No killing yourself is allowed.....just a warning



idiots who kill themselves think they will end it all?

wrong

they will suffer more than they ever thought

Bullshit.

 

[skye]

Suicide is not allowed.

Better live your life ...pay...suffer... suffer cry .....and then go to ...

Heaven

wherever

but killing yourself is not allowed

 

[Gracie]

Suicide is not allowed.

Better live your life ...pay...suffer... suffer cry .....and then go to ...

Heaven

wherever

but killing yourself is not allowed

According to YOUR beliefs.

 

[skye]

Suicide is not allowed.

Better live your life ...pay...suffer... suffer cry .....and then go to ...

Heaven

wherever

but killing yourself is not allowed

According to YOUR beliefs.

do as you please


Eternity is an awful long time

I would never take my own life...I never asked to live in this life....why should I take that life ?????


no


there is a bigger Power behind all this

whatever

 

[Gracie]

He gave us life and he gave us free will. That free will means WE CHOOSE.
Yes, I will do as I please, on what is best for ME. And those that love me will know those are my wishes. IF it came to that, which it won't, because I'll take care of it myself when the time comes.

 

[JakeStarkey]

skye, you are not God's mouthpiece.

Please.

 

[Jackson]

That's why these advanced directives are so helpful. When someone is unconscious or has otherwise "lost their minds" we are not capable of knowing for sure.

skye, you are not God's mouthpiece.

Please.

All believers are God's mouthpiece.

 

[JakeStarkey]

That's why these advanced directives are so helpful. When someone is unconscious or has otherwise "lost their minds" we are not capable of knowing for sure.

skye, you are not God's mouthpiece.

Please.

All believers are God's mouthpiece.

Nope.