Originally posted by Hobbit
If I were president...
1) Promote whoever had the idea of blasting heavy metal and insults at the Iraqi insurgents.
2) Tell the average Iraqi citizens to help us clean out their country before we just decide to start drafting them into their military.
3) Impose federal laws protecting the integrity of news sources. IOW, make laws that would fine acredited news sources for lying and such.
4) Begin impeachment proceedings against all activist judges.
5) Begin impeachment proceedings for all judges who attempt to bypass minimum sentencing laws.
6) Put federal restrictions on grade school indoctrination (i.e. the heavy environmentalist hippy crap my generation had to put up with)
7) Close up the seive that is the Mexican border until Ziploc would be jealous, then tell the Mexican government that every citizen who steps one toe over the border will be shot on sight.
8) Do the same to Canada until they actually show a little responsibility towards terrorism.
9) Prohibit any governmental candidate from recieving campaign donations. All campaign funds will come from the government, giving an equal playing field. All media outlets that are not paid for by the candidates must give each candidate equal representation if requested.
10) Throw Gavin Newsom in jail.
11) Impose a federal prohibition on the rights of criminals to sue for injuries sustained during the commission of a crime.
12) Tell the U.N. they can cram their policies until they figure out that we're sovreign over our own nation.
13) Withdraw all of our troops and opinions from those who state that they do not want them. Then withdraw our support as well and use the funds to pay off the national debt.
14) Strategically place buckets of pig lard around every airplane flying to or from a U.S. city, and make sure that at least one is visible from every seat.
15) Tell special interest groups to !@#$ off.
16) Impose absolute federal limits on drawing welfare unless you are physically unable to do anything that you can be paid for.
17) Tell minorities to get their own jobs and money and that if they don't get them, it's not because they're a minority, it's because they suck.
18) All people who make statements directly against America, rather than just the current administration, will be deported to a country determined by previous behavior. e.g. Those showing support for Hamas will be deported to the West Bank. Those showing support for Al-Qaida will be deported to a hole in the ground in Afghanistan until they are shot for being a terrorist. Michael Moore will be deported to France. Jane Fonda will be deported to Vietnam.
19) Poor people who complain will be given a well-paying job and appropriate clothes. If they can't cut it, then they can't say they weren't given a fair shot and should shut up.
20) The court system will be redesigned around the revolutionary new concept of prosecuting criminals and sorting them out from the innocent, rather than the current model based around political statements.
21) Atheism would be removed as a state-sponsored religion. No religion would be taught, but all would be allowed to be heard.
Ok, there's my presidency so far.