One can imagine similar marriage problems in cohabiting.
29 Nov 2020 Common Marriage Problems During the Pandemic
And how to avoid them.
goodmenproject.com
’....You may feel like you no longer get any privacy....When you’re starving for money, your spouse may be making purchases that are unneeded....A therapist can give advice that’s tailor-made....many people are avoiding that.’
Reminiscent of the Mandan method of mourning by talking to the skulls of the dead in the mourning process, Gottlieb’s passage about John:
’The smell of his head when John bent down to kiss him. The music of his giggle. His animated facial expressions....All of these memories feel, to John, as if they were fading into the distance — that he’s losing the details of Gabe, much ad he wants to hold on to them....”Keeping him alive in your mind is your way of not abandoning him,” I say. John nods. He says he pictures Gabe alive all the time — what he would look like, how tall he would be, what interests he would have....having crushes on girls.
....
Besides, how can there be an endpoint to love and loss?....The grief psychologist William Worden takes into account these questions by replacing (stages[italics]) with (tasks [it.]) of mourning. In his fourth task, the goal is to (integrate [it.]) the loss into your life and create an ongoing connection with the person who died while also finding a way to continue living.’
(Gottleib L, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Ch. 48, Psychological Immune System)
Worden’s approach mirrors the Mandan approach, because the tasks (talking to the skull, laying down beside it, etc.) are integrated over a period of time, and this mourning ritual eventually ends.
