Clean Up Your Act by Changing Your Name?

Adam's Apple

Senior Member
Apr 25, 2004
A Lawyer by Any Other Name . . .
By Michael Arnold Glueck and Robert J. Cihak
September 13, 2006

Once upon a time there was a pack of men and women who didn't play well with other kids or adults. They always tried to take advantage of every opportunity and changed the rules as they went along — always to suit their own monetary and political needs.

One day the 56,000 member group woke up and realized the other kids didn't like them very much and no longer wanted to play with them. Even many in the same profession, but not in the same sub-group, no longer wanted to associate with them.

So the leadership of these men and women met and decided it best to hunt for another name. They reviewed the many shows listed in the TV guide in search of a proper title. Words such as Shark, Criminal, Kidnapped, and several legal shows with the word Justice came to mind. Well, "Shark" would have been too hot. "Criminal" sounded too cold. But "Justice," sounded just right!

So, in an attempt to revamp its tarnished reputation, the organization formerly known as the Association of Trial Lawyers of America is now calling itself the American Association for Justice.

Justice for whom — themselves? The Trial Bar thinks 300,000,000 Americans will be fooled by this latest bait and switch.

Lisa A. Rickard, president of the U.S. Chamber Institute for Legal Reform, called the move "an astounding admission of the unpopularity of trial lawyers in America."

To which we add, if the trial lawyers wanted respect, might they instead have considered adding more moral values, ethics, or virtues to their professional code?

Why not disbar those trial lawyers who consistently file abusive and unmerited lawsuits that cripple the courts and harm innocent persons and society?

Perhaps they could stop the practice of spending hundreds of millions of dollars to elect themselves to state legislatures and Congress where they stack the judicial committees and draft bills that allow more lawsuits, against more persons and organizations, for greater monetary awards plus astronomical damages.

They could stop blocking any attempts at tort reform.

Remember California state Sen. D. Joe Dunn? Californians finally voted him out of office this summer after years of shilling for the trial lawyers.

Here's another thought: Maybe for those few lawsuits that truly help the injured and society, they could stop grabbing an unconscionable 40 percent fee off the top, after their exorbitant expenses, finally leaving the wee remains to the plaintiff.

This writer once received quarterly checks for an uncashable $0.009 from a class action suit he didn't even know he had entered.

Since lawyer legislators have made fee splitting illegal in medicine and some other professions, why don't they make it unlawful for themselves?

There are countless cases where lawyers have received millions in referral fees for a mere phone call. Just remember that in the aggregate each of you pays approximately $2,000 a year in lawsuit taxes. This does not include your higher health care, medical insurance, and malpractice costs.

Previous columns have detailed many other abuses they could rectify so there is no need to repeat them and make you sicker.

Why is this so important come election day?

It is an undeniable truth that many lawyers, as always, are running for office. In addition to controlling the practice of law, they want to own and control the legislative, executive, and judicial branches of government.

So before you vote for another lawyer be certain that lawyer is running to represent you and your community's needs, not those of the trial lawyers.

Currently many lawyer candidates, aware of their own increasingly bad reputations, put occupations other than attorney next to their names on the ballot.

When this deceit happens, it is a signal to vote for someone else! You owe it to yourself to do your homework.

Let's not be foolish enough to believe that a spin and twist of a title or a name will tenderize the trial tigers' temperament, true nature, and unquenchable thirst.

If they want respect they should mend their ways — not their name. This latest trial lawyer public relations sham may be the biggest lawyer joke of all time.

Forum List