There are still plenty of old man bars in the Valley. Bars that used to serve hard drinks to men who want to get drunk fast (copyright 1946 It's a Wonderful Life).
These smudged up places still serve steelworkers ginger brandy, Kessler's, and 7&7's. Draft beer is Iron City and Iron City Light. period.
And there's always a spot along the corner of the bar where the old times gather to solve all the problems of the world and gripe about their wives. That's where the best jokes are enjoyed. Jokes like...
While grocery shopping, a woman accidentally bumped her cart into another. That cart was used by her doctor and they began the every day chit chat we all perform. Staring into her cart, the doctor noticed an 80 pound bag of dry dog food.
"Helen! I didn't know that you and Tom got yourselves a big dog" said the doctor.
"No. I feed that to Tom" Helen answered matter of factly.
"I beg you pardon?" Asked the doctor.
"Yeah! It's all he eats! Three meals a day, seven days a week, he even fills a dish and eats it like popcorn while he watches TV!" explained Helen.
"As your doctor I have to warn you, if you feed a grown man nothing but dog food, it'll kill him!" scolded the doctor.
Three months later, the two find themselves at the same cocktail party.
"Helen!" said the doctor "How's Tom?
"Poor Tom. He died last month" answered Helen.
"What did I tell you!" growled the doctor. "Dog food would swell up his guts until they explode!"
"No! It wasn't the food that killed him" said Helen.
And this is the place in the story they would all lean in toward each other and speak in low tones.
"Tom was sitting out in the street licking his balls and a car hit him."
And that's when the old drunks would let loose a snort, a fart or two and a chuckle.
[MENTION=20704]Nosmo King[/MENTION] - dude, you are hereby elevated to permanent "Bard of Cheers!"
That is just plain old outstanding.
I gotta tell a story:
Went back home to the midwest in early 2013 to bury my mother. It was a very sad time. My best friend and his wife took me out to a fine Italian Restaurant and Bar in Dayton, OH, just outside the perimeter of a place called "The Oregon District", which is like the Jazz/Bar/Porn Shop strip of Dayton.
So, it's two days after the funeral and I was also exhausted from cleaning out my mom's house. We went out to eat and apparently, when he made the reservation over phone the day before, my best friend called the owner of the place and told him I was an opera singer - and so, right before the main course was served, the doors opened and about 40 people came in all at once. It was the owner's (extended) family. They all wanted to hear an opera aria. Totally floored (and not warmed up, but feelin really good from some great Montepulciano wine), I stood up and sang a very famous aria from Turandot ("Nessun Dorma"). Probably the best singing I had done for a while, cuz it was so, well, unexpected. And the house rocked. Well, we ate and people came up and asked me to sing this, that and the other. What a total hoot. So, it's getting close to closing time, but no one wanted to leave and the owner opened up his bar for all to stay slightly after hours. Now, I have no idea if this was legal or not, but he didn't charge, so I suspect that made it legal.
And I had some of the finest brandy of my life. What a treat. Italian Tavern owners rock!
And amazing what weird twists and turns life can deal us.
Thought you might like that story.
Now, back to drinking!!!
Another list I didn't get on.
