So you made all this stuff up yourself. I thought so. And you really think that goat hearder who wrote the bible were so smart they fooled everyone except you? Really?
No, I didn't make this stuff up anymore than if I said that the story of Pinocchio is not about a puppet coming to life is making something up.
And they weren't trying to fool anyone. They were instructing their children through well known and intelligent literary techniques, figurative expressions, and teaching devices how to remain sane and have a fruitful and fulfilling life in a world and a time when they were surrounded by superstitious violent and irrational knuckle dragging barbarians always on the prowl for the gullible.
What happened is that superstitious and irrational people eventually usurped authority over how to interpret scripture according to their irrational superstitions in the year 325 ce., created out of nothing an edible triune mangod, and began to persecute and kill anyone who objected for centuries and many people all over the world haven't yet recovered from centuries of generational trauma.
I not making that up either. If you don't believe me you can look it up.