Bummer

[toobfreak]

I was a little bored, my mind was searching for something to do, suddenly it came to mind to try to look a few people up. I had two good particularly close friends in high school that I really liked, we were best friends for many years. One was a white guy who moved out to California in the late 70s and in the early 80s, I went out there for a few weeks to visit him. Then we drifted apart sometime after that, I know he ran into trouble with the law, but apparently he is still alive and living in San Jose. I'm tempted to get his phone number and give him a call one of these days.

The other guy was a black fellow, when I met him in high school, his mother had died. If I remember right, he was adopted. We were best friends for a long time, getting together weekly staying over each other's house, then he met a girl and they got married rather quickly and he got rather odd after that. She seemed like an oddball herself. His personality, interests and attitudes changed a lot after that, like a different person, he became very political, racial, militant, and the last time I called him up, he went off unexpectedly on an angry rant about president Reagan and the air traffic controllers of all things like it was my fault. He was incensed because I did not immediately agree with him like there could be only one side to the issue and because I tried to discuss the matter calmly looking at both sides instead. Not sure how or why we even got onto that subject. We never spoke again. Kinda sad really, I don't know what happened to him but we had a lot of good times up until then.

Well, I just looked him up too on the web and he is dead! I don't know the cause of death but I'm sure it was him. Thing is, we were the same age and I find out now the guy is not only dead but long dead and has been dead for 20 years. He died almost exactly 20 years ago, in fact. He has two daughters. I'm just a little shocked that he died so young (less than 50 years old) and so long ago. It just feels strange that someone you knew so long and so well whom you just assumed was still out there somewhere has been dead for 20 years. I suppose one of these days, I'll have to try to make a concerted effort to try to find out why (illness, disease, traffic accident, drive by shooting?)--- I'd kind of really like to know what happened to the guy.

It sort of hurts to have a friendship you cared about where the other person just inexplicably stopped valuing your friendship as much as you valued his.

Bummer.

 

[Concerned American]

I was a little bored, my mind was searching for something to do, suddenly it came to mind to try to look a few people up. I had two good particularly close friends in high school that I really liked, we were best friends for many years. One was a white guy who moved out to California in the late 70s and in the early 80s, I went out there for a few weeks to visit him. Then we drifted apart sometime after that, I know he ran into trouble with the law, but apparently he is still alive and living in San Jose. I'm tempted to get his phone number and give him a call one of these days.

The other guy was a black fellow, when I met him in high school, his mother had died. If I remember right, he was adopted. We were best friends for a long time, getting together weekly staying over each other's house, then he met a girl and they got married rather quickly and he got rather odd after that. She seemed like an oddball herself. His personality, interests and attitudes changed a lot after that, like a different person, he became very political, racial, militant, and the last time I called him up, he went off unexpectedly on an angry rant about president Reagan and the air traffic controllers of all things like it was my fault. He was incensed because I did not immediately agree with him like there could be only one side to the issue and because I tried to discuss the matter calmly looking at both sides instead. Not sure how or why we even got onto that subject. We never spoke again. Kinda sad really, I don't know what happened to him but we had a lot of good times up until then.

Well, I just looked him up too on the web and he is dead! I don't know the cause of death but I'm sure it was him. Thing is, we were the same age and I find out now the guy is not only dead but long dead and has been dead for 20 years. He died almost exactly 20 years ago, in fact. He has two daughters. I'm just a little shocked that he died so young (less than 50 years old) and so long ago. It just feels strange that someone you knew so long and so well whom you just assumed was still out there somewhere has been dead for 20 years. I suppose one of these days, I'll have to try to make a concerted effort to try to find out why (illness, disease, traffic accident, drive by shooting?)--- I'd kind of really like to know what happened to the guy.

It sort of hurts to have a friendship you cared about where the other person just inexplicably stopped valuing your friendship as much as you valued his.

Bummer.

When we reach a certain age it is inevitable. I was reminiscing the other night and came to the realization that most of my good friends have passed on. The most recent was Dec. 10 last year--kidney failure. I think I can count my old friends that are still alive on one hand. We are still making new friends, but those oldies with whom we share so many memories are mostly gone. Sad.

 

[1srelluc]

At this point I'd rather not see any of them, it just reminds me how old we are getting. That and I'm not bothered to find out who has died which is where it always leads to....Well that and their current maladies.

 

[toobfreak]

When we reach a certain age it is inevitable. I was reminiscing the other night and came to the realization that most of my good friends have passed on.

Yeah, but when I found this guy's obit and more and more details in it kept matching up that it was the guy I knew (the final kicker was photos of him loaded there by another guy I knew in high school whom both he and I knew and were friends with, who apparently stayed friends with him long after we drifted apart), I was expecting that maybe he had just died with the past couple of years or something, I was not expecting that he had been dead for 20 years!

The most recent was Dec. 10 last year--kidney failure. I think I can count my old friends that are still alive on one hand. We are still making new friends, but those oldies with whom we share so many memories are mostly gone. Sad.

Yeah, I'm pretty much out of old friends. My best buddy of 35 years passed away in 2010 (he had an aortic defect). I have a friend out near Salt Lake City but lost contact with him about 1.5 years ago and need to try to call him one of these days to check up on him. There is that high school chum I mentioned out in California I might call, but who knows if he is even still interested in being friends? He was going through major changes last we talked. Then there was a pro guitarist from England I was good friends with, but he too died about 2.5 years ago. He died suddenly just a few weeks after my getting his Xmas card from him.

What bums me out about the dead black guy is all the memories we shared that we might have hashed up and laughed over from our younger wild days in high school that no one else knows.

But you reach a point in life where it gets harder and harder to stay in touch with old friends and less interesting to make new friends.

 

[toobfreak]

At this point I'd rather not see any of them, it just reminds me how old we are getting. That and I'm not bothered to find out who has died which is where it always leads to....Well that and their current maladies.

I'm rather happy with getting old, I rather like being retired. You see the world a lot better now then in our younger days. And as far as hooking up with an old friend I haven't seen or talked to in 30-40 years, that's OK, the memories shared are more important than the passage of time.

 

[1srelluc]

I'm rather happy with getting old, I rather like being retired. You see the world a lot better now then in our younger days. And as far as hooking up with an old friend I haven't seen or talked to in 30-40 years, that's OK, the memories shared are more important than the passage of time.

It's OK if they were a hunting buddy but then you find that they took up (spit) golf!

 

[Mack The Finger]

I have no friends or family. my girlfriend of 15 years ran off on me.

I am in negations with Moonglow to see what we can work out.

 

[sparky]

everytime the radio plays certain tunes i recall how many of my former band mates are in the big gig in the sky now .......<sigh> ~S~

 

[toobfreak]

everytime the radio plays certain tunes i recall how many of my former band mates are in the big gig in the sky now .......<sigh> ~S~

Yep, Rather depressing that it is getting where the majority of the musicians we grew up with that really defined so many important genres, are passing on now.

 

[luiza]

Bummer.

Simple Statistics within a Probability Universe .

To fill in time , search for a Karma type of explanation.
Did we meet in other incarnations ?
In what circumstances ?
etc etc

What lessons required resolution?
Much more interesting than TV or chat sites .