Breast-Feeding: Private Act or Public Right?

[Annie]

Breastfeeding is still the healthiest choice even after 15 months. There are many studies showing that the older children have less colds, flu's, ear infections etc. Then there's the non nutrition benefits. The bond that continues.

Thankfully as a whole our society isn't as close minded as so many of you are. Europe is even more relaxed about it. There public nursing isn't an issue. It's an American thing to look down your noses at our mothers.

I'll also bring up that it's up to the parent to parent their child. Not yours.

Reminds me of the old biddy that poked her nose into my business with my teenager while getting him on a flight to grandmas a few weeks ago. I refused to let him go beyond the security with out me. As I was being turned around at the check point for not having the right form, an old lady asked me how old he was. She stated "oh he's old enough to go by himself". I asked her how she's a judge of what's best for my child. Then turned to my son and asked him "do you feel OK going by yourself?". He stated that he's not. We turned and walked away to go get the forms we needed. Thankfully making it to the gate just in time to get him on the plane.

It's my job to raise my kids, no one else. Even if it's out in public.

Here's the deal. It offends many, otherwise wouldn't be an issue. My guess from what I've read and since I never, not ONCE had a problem, it's not 'infants' that are causing the backlash. If over a year, the baby should be on solids and obviously fluids. They do NOT need to nurse in public areas, unless the child is willing to act like a baby. (Don't get me started on the possible problems in making here). The toddler can drink out of a cup, whether it's pumped milk or juice, formula or a black cow, I really could care less.

 

[Angel Heart]

Here's the deal. It offends many, otherwise wouldn't be an issue. My guess from what I've read and since I never, not ONCE had a problem, it's not 'infants' that are causing the backlash. If over a year, the baby should be on solids and obviously fluids. They do NOT need to nurse in public areas, unless the child is willing to act like a baby. (Don't get me started on the possible problems in making here). The toddler can drink out of a cup, whether it's pumped milk or juice, formula or a black cow, I really could care less.

It's not just about nutrition. It's about parents rights to parent their children as they see fit.

And what of Europe? What of the fact that it's not an issue in Oregon? What about the fact that it's not an issue in California? Soon it will be a protected right even in your state.

You might as well get off your high horse and realize that you are going to see more and more public nursing of even toddlers. You are the one having the issue not the other way around.

 

[Annie]

It's not just about nutrition. It's about parents rights to parent their children as they see fit.

Guess what, within reason the parents have such rights. If we are speaking of a newborn/infant and someone wishes to raise cain through the courts, they'll lose. On the other hand if we are speaking of a child that is walking and talking, refusing to be covered by blankie while feeding? Courts may pronounce differently. There are options at that age level.

And what of Europe? What of the fact that it's not an issue in Oregon? What about the fact that it's not an issue in California? Soon it will be a protected right even in your state.

Who gives a f about Europe regarding US policy on breastfeeding?

You might as well get off your high horse and realize that you are going to see more and more public nursing of even toddlers. You are the one having the issue not the other way around.

It wouldn't bother me, problem is, this kind of beligerency is likely to backlash onto the infants that shouldn't have a problem. Oh well, your point will have been made.

 

[Hellsrebel]

Here's the deal. It offends many, otherwise wouldn't be an issue. My guess from what I've read and since I never, not ONCE had a problem, it's not 'infants' that are causing the backlash. If over a year, the baby should be on solids and obviously fluids. They do NOT need to nurse in public areas, unless the child is willing to act like a baby. (Don't get me started on the possible problems in making here). The toddler can drink out of a cup, whether it's pumped milk or juice, formula or a black cow, I really could care less.

No not all toddlers can drink from a cup, or a sippy. If the toddler is disabled they may have many problems. Many disabled children are developmentally behind the kids in their age group. I have a physically disabled 3 year old who mentally is advanced but physically will never be able to fully do what a normal healthy child can do.

My friends son who has mental disablities hes 2 and acts like a baby most of the time that has nothing to do with her parenting skills her other children who are just fine never acted like that.

So you shouldn't just assume that you know what all toddlers can do. Because you clearly don't. Go spend some time in a childrens hospital.

 

[Annie]

Breastfeeding is still the healthiest choice even after 15 months. There are many studies showing that the older children have less colds, flu's, ear infections etc. Then there's the non nutrition benefits. The bond that continues.

Thankfully as a whole our society isn't as close minded as so many of you are. Europe is even more relaxed about it. There public nursing isn't an issue. It's an American thing to look down your noses at our mothers.

I'll also bring up that it's up to the parent to parent their child. Not yours.

Reminds me of the old biddy that poked her nose into my business with my teenager while getting him on a flight to grandmas a few weeks ago. I refused to let him go beyond the security with out me. As I was being turned around at the check point for not having the right form, an old lady asked me how old he was. She stated "oh he's old enough to go by himself". I asked her how she's a judge of what's best for my child. Then turned to my son and asked him "do you feel OK going by yourself?". He stated that he's not. We turned and walked away to go get the forms we needed. Thankfully making it to the gate just in time to get him on the plane.

It's my job to raise my kids, no one else. Even if it's out in public.

Sorry to tell you, I'm pro-breast feeding. Truth is, common courtesy needs to be given by all. The idea that one should be relegated to a bathroom for nursing a baby, when breast is their sole support of nourishment is nuts. On the other hand, a toddler with a half a whole wheat sandwich in one hand, while pulling up mom's shirt with the other, sorry. Either deal with teaching the child appropriate behavior or find some private area. Once sustenance become viable from other venues, the 'necessity' of 'on demand' becomes moot.

 

[Gem]

Hellsrebel Wrote:

No not all toddlers can drink from a cup, or a sippy. If the toddler is disabled they may have many problems. Many disabled children are developmentally behind the kids in their age group. I have a physically disabled 3 year old who mentally is advanced but physically will never be able to fully do what a normal healthy child can do.

My friends son who has mental disablities hes 2 and acts like a baby most of the time that has nothing to do with her parenting skills her other children who are just fine never acted like that.

While I have complete respect and understanding for what you are saying (I teach children with special needs and have a master's degree in special education), I think that the conversation to this point has centered around children whose developmental functioning is within "normal" levels.

While you bring up the important point that some children are not capable of eating solids or drinking from a cup due to developmental delays, I do not think that this minority is what Kathianne was speaking to.

While it is important to remember that all children are different, in a discussion like this, most often we are talking about the majority of children - with that in mind, I'm not quite sure it is fair to include your last lines, "So you shouldn't just assume that you know what all toddlers can do. Because you clearly don't. Go spend some time in a childrens hospital." The idea of developmentally delayed and/or physically/mentally handicapped children has not been brought up in the discussion yet at all...so assuming that Kathianne or others have no information or background in it is unfair even though I have nothing but respect for where you are coming from in this subject.

 

[Hellsrebel]

Hellsrebel Wrote:


While I have complete respect and understanding for what you are saying (I teach children with special needs and have a master's degree in special education), I think that the conversation to this point has centered around children whose developmental functioning is within "normal" levels.

While you bring up the important point that some children are not capable of eating solids or drinking from a cup due to developmental delays, I do not think that this minority is what Kathianne was speaking to.

While it is important to remember that all children are different, in a discussion like this, most often we are talking about the majority of children - with that in mind, I'm not quite sure it is fair to include your last lines, "So you shouldn't just assume that you know what all toddlers can do. Because you clearly don't. Go spend some time in a childrens hospital." The idea of developmentally delayed and/or physically/mentally handicapped children has not been brought up in the discussion yet at all...so assuming that Kathianne or others have no information or background in it is unfair even though I have nothing but respect for where you are coming from in this subject.

Your right I went a little to far on that. I do appolagize for the last part of it. But not for bringing up the point not all toddlers are normal

 

[MassageGirl]

I agree. Even a normal child that CAN drink out of a sippy or a bottle, shouldnt by some moral or legal obligation, have to.

Someone said to me in a private message that as long as men had to wear their shirts (like at the mall, in a restaurant, etc) then so should a woman. I completely agree. However, a man can wear a "muscle shirt" , the tank top kind that have those huge arm holes, so the material will flitter and flap all over and he might as well have nothing on.

We have gone over and over the poolside discussion also, and the person who is posting in this thread, that I was PMing with, said that it seems that it would be perfectly fair for a woman to be allowed to go topless in any situation that a man can go shirtless in. Doesnt poolside apply then? And getting back to the man in the muscle tank top issue, why on earth is it such a big deal that a woman shows the side of or even all of a breast, at any given time? I mean, I know Im repeating myself here, but the people who are arguing that this has nothing to do with equal rights (because they claim that this has been said is okay) have been the same ones who have bitched and moaned about the poolside feeders, and women who simply forgot their blankets/ cover ups.

I am about done with this thread, not because I dont respect other peoples opinions, but because I do not find other peoples opinions about this subject very fluid or logical. You cant say one thing is okay and another thing is not, when they are both the same things. Like, you cant say: "Oh its not okay for a woman to breastfeed at the mall without a blanket, because she might show her nipple to innocent passerbys, but this has nothing to do with equal rights. Anywhere a man can go topless, so can she, but she should bring a blanket to the pool... oh and a man can wear a booby showing tank top to the mall, without question. That doesnt excuse the women for not bringing a blanket!!"

I mean, I hope that those of you who have been using this argument realise how incredibly illogical it is. Again, I will say it- This is not about babies, or mothers, or upset people passing by. This is about equal rights. There is no woman versus man. We are EQUALS. WE women are NOT the sexual gatekeepers for men, and we shouldnt have to cover everything up in a certain way in order to control THEIR libidos. They are perfectly capable of controlling their own, lol...

 

[dilloduck]

I agree. Even a normal child that CAN drink out of a sippy or a bottle, shouldnt by some moral or legal obligation, have to.

Someone said to me in a private message that as long as men had to wear their shirts (like at the mall, in a restaurant, etc) then so should a woman. I completely agree. However, a man can wear a "muscle shirt" , the tank top kind that have those huge arm holes, so the material will flitter and flap all over and he might as well have nothing on.

We have gone over and over the poolside discussion also, and the person who is posting in this thread, that I was PMing with, said that it seems that it would be perfectly fair for a woman to be allowed to go topless in any situation that a man can go shirtless in. Doesnt poolside apply then? And getting back to the man in the muscle tank top issue, why on earth is it such a big deal that a woman shows the side of or even all of a breast, at any given time? I mean, I know Im repeating myself here, but the people who are arguing that this has nothing to do with equal rights (because they claim that this has been said is okay) have been the same ones who have bitched and moaned about the poolside feeders, and women who simply forgot their blankets/ cover ups.

I am about done with this thread, not because I dont respect other peoples opinions, but because I do not find other peoples opinions about this subject very fluid or logical. You cant say one thing is okay and another thing is not, when they are both the same things. Like, you cant say: "Oh its not okay for a woman to breastfeed at the mall without a blanket, because she might show her nipple to innocent passerbys, but this has nothing to do with equal rights. Anywhere a man can go topless, so can she, but she should bring a blanket to the pool... oh and a man can wear a booby showing tank top to the mall, without question. That doesnt excuse the women for not bringing a blanket!!"

I mean, I hope that those of you who have been using this argument realise how incredibly illogical it is. Again, I will say it- This is not about babies, or mothers, or upset people passing by. This is about equal rights. There is no woman versus man. We are EQUALS. WE women are NOT the sexual gatekeepers for men, and we shouldnt have to cover everything up in a certain way in order to control THEIR libidos. They are perfectly capable of controlling their own, lol...

Hmmm--so your entire point here is that women have or should have the legal right to go topless ? Are you really all that bent out of shape because you can't flash your nipples without creating an incident ?

 

[Gem]

MassageGirl,

I think you have brilliantly highlighted why so many people were so confused by the tone of your posts compared to other peoples with a somewhat similar viewpoint. Most people here have been discussing this issue purely from the stance of women breastfeeding in public...they have not come to it from the standpoint of making a stance on women's rights and/or equality. You, on the other hand, have come to this argument completely from the standpoint that women should be able to flash their breasts everywhere that men can. You view the breastfeeding debate as almost secondary to your main platform - forwarding the assertion that breasts are just breasts and that men's and women's should be able to be displayed equally and without fanfare. For you, this issue seems to be ENTIRELY about women's rights and equality.

As I have said earlier, I think that your point has merit - there does not seem to be a truly logical reason why men can go topless and women can't. (Although I don't know where you live...but many women where I live go out with LOW cut tops on or very small tops on that are just as revealing as a muscle-t). I do think that the reason behind women having to cover their breasts is that America still holds some more conservative values. I think many here would argue that that is not necessarily a bad thing.

However...I think where you have gotten caught up here - and why you find yourself so frustrated - is that you have brought your own, somewhat related but not completely obvious to most people, issue to the topic expecting others to immediately see the importance of your connection and agree with you. And the bottom line is...not everyone feels the need to make this a women's equality issue.

While you might feel that it is totally illogical not to only view this issue through through the focus of women fighting for the right to show their breasts at anytime and in any place...many here are simply viewing this from the standpoint of making all people in a public place comfortable and respected. While you do not view this goal as as valid or important as yours...I think it is important to remember that it does not necessarily mean that the other views are illogical or "non-fluid" as your keep insisting on calling them...just a different take on this issue.

 

[ErikViking]

It is breastfeeding.

The only subject not turned in to a left/right issue!

Who would have thought...

 

[Angel Heart]