It explains for example not your stupid and uneducated behavior and your lack of respect for a descendent of some of the very few German survivors of the Holocaust who not left Germany.
I fear not even a brain transplantation is able to save you, weirdo.
Sometimes I wonder about the meaning of life.
Hey man, where do I come from, where am I going?
Is all this hustle and bustle in vain?
No, there's a good reason why I'm here!
I'm here to be a corkscrew and a light bulb screwer.
I'm here to fetch bread rolls early on Sunday mornings.
I'm the sack hopper and the drain unblocker.
I'm the nasal spray in children's noses, the dropper.
I'm the braid braider, I'm the mosquito catcher.
I'm the applicant, I'm the bureaucrat,
I'm the troubadour who sings the most tender love songs
and takes the old glass to the recycling bin.
I am the confessor, the comforter,
I am the soup ladler and the pocket money giver.
I am the cheer-up guy, the tear wiper,
I am the braces fisher from the trash can.
I am the relationship repairer, I am the justice of the peace,
I am the positive thinker and the dispute mediator.
And when everyone is hugging and crying and making up again,
I'm the one who gets the blame.
Sometimes the cosmos seems completely understandable to me,
I feel intertwined with the workings of the world,
I realize: I am completely indispensable,
firmly planned into the grand scheme of the world:
Because I am the chauffeur, I am the garbage sorter,
I am the stopgap and serve as the loser.
I am the can opener, because I am best at
testing the taste of expired food.
I am the pick-up guy, the one in front of the train station,
I am the hand-holder and the one who goes to the dentist.
I am the house pig who eats the leftovers from everyone's plates,
So that everyone can have nice weather tomorrow.
I am the creep, I am the visitor chaser,
The one at the front door who says, “Sorry, he's not home.”
I am responsible for every kind of seal
On every faucet and in every style.
I am the bodyguard, the goodnight kisser,
I am the goofball, I am the one who has to go to parent-teacher conferences.
I am good-natured, good-looking, good-humored, and patient,
And if you need someone to blame, then I am to blame.
It was nice to chat and laugh with you
And now I'm exhausted and worn out,
I could go on like this for hours,
But I have to go—you understand—I'm needed at home.
Because I'm the fever thermometer and I'm the dragon slayer,
I'm the legal guardian and the shocker.
I am the prime suspect, the lightning rod,
I am the joker, the spreader of harmony.
I am the hobby surgeon, I am the damage limiter,
I am the full-time risk taker and egg dancer,
I am the one who turns the wheel at the last moment
And when it comes down to it, I bite through the umbilical cord.
I am the heartbreaker, I am the flower picker,
I am the curler and I am the furniture mover.
I am the naked cleaner and the potato peeler,
I am the belly dancer and the storyteller.
I am the back scratcher, I am the sleep guard,
I am the reliable one who turns off the lights last.
I'll be your boar, moose, deer, and stallion, and if you like,
I'll also be the smallest boy band in the world for you.
