Annie
Diamond Member
- Nov 22, 2003
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Links at site. It never ceases to amaze me how a relatively unknown blog becomes noticed and responded to when there is a problem or celebration. This is just the one I last happened upon. If the MSM had this kind of personal touch and honesty in fixing mistakes, the NY Times and Tribune Companies would not be in financial trouble:
http://www.gmroper.com/archives/2006/02/cancer_me_and_t.htm
http://www.gmroper.com/archives/2006/02/cancer_me_and_t.htm
February 14, 2006
Cancer, Me and the Blogosphere
FightOn (3).gifWow, what a tumultuous three weeks this has been! From getting a routine chest x-ray to get my knee repaired to finding out I had cancer in my right lung, to making the announcement here at GM's Corner, to getting literally hundreds and hundreds of cards, letters (most via e-mial), prayers from people I've never before encountered and likely will never meet in person. Offers of assistance for everything from mowing the lawn (I live in a town-home, no lawn) to can I get you some magazines or something?
One thing for sure has happened. I have been touched by the hand of Almighty God through this ordeal. Now, I don't really care to get into an argument about religion or whether or not one believes, but for me, the hand of God has never been more clear than it is here and now. From the dark fear of the unknown that the diagnosis of cancer brings to the sudden realization that you aren't under a death sentence and you are not likely to die in the next 10 seconds is an amazing and difficult, and harrowing and marvelous journey for one to make. I'm not even sure that I can make sense out of it all.
In my first blog post about the cancer, one of the comments way down the list was "This thread is incredibly affirmative--you're touching people, GM. Bless you." and Mr. Larson is so right, this has been incredibly affirmative. One of the lesson's of life - if one is willing to listen that is - is that you don't get to control all of your destiny, that while you can be the "Captain of your ship" you are also sometimes set on by storms that sneak up on your blind side. And when those storms hit, friendship is the "safe harbor" that you need. I have apparantly, safe harbors all over the world and that too is incredibly affirming.
Discovery of cancer on the 24th, confirmation on the 26th, major surgery on the 6th of February, disturbing but ultimately incorrect news on the 7th, home on the 13th and today, Valentine's Day, spent at home with my loved ones. How do I count all the blessings that this has entailed? How do I tell everyone how much they mean to me? How do I thank those that have reached out to touch my heart with prayers, with concern and a willingness to keep me in their thoughts?
I have heard from those with strong religious convictions, as well as from those with no religious convictions at all. But perhaps unknowingly, they have all been united in sending me their best, and that has been felt by me from the top of my pointy little ole head to the bottom of my feet.
Dr. Helen (The Instapundit's Better Half) had a heart attack a number of years ago and when she commented with a note of support, she said "...stay positive--I know I will keep you and your recovery in my thoughts." Tony Snow of Fox News sent me a lengthy e-mail and noted a number of things for me to do:
First, enlist as much love and support from friends as you can, and don't be shy. One of the great distinguishing characteristic of Americans is that they always want a chance to do something good. Many are doing good things for you right now, many completely unknown to you. Some people are afraid of admitting to cancer because they worry that others will treat them like freaks. A very few people will; most will rally in wondrous and suprising ways. Give them a chance to help. They'll come through for you.
Second, talk to other cancer patients. They have street cred others don't. For instance, you're probably now noticing twinges and random pains in far-flung parts of your body. This sort of stuff has been going on your entire life, and you have paid no heed. Now, however, the mere threat of cancer has you wondering whether the killer cells have fiendishly relocated to some unusual part of your body -- from your toes to your earlobes, along with every viscera and soft tissue in between. I remember thinking at one point that pressure in my forehead must have been a sure indicator of brain cancer. Instead, I just had sinus congestion. This sort of panic is normal: I don't know a single cancer patient who hasn't experienced it in one way, shape or form. I finally called my internist and informed him that I was going nuts and needed some sort of stuff to calm me down. He prescribed Xanax. I took exactly one -- conversations with doctors and other cancer patients managed to calm my nerves even better than drugs.
Third, learn as much as you can -- ignorance is your enemy -- but don't get too hooked on internet sites. Many of them are idiotic. Better to consult with your MD Anderson trained doc, who can steer you to stuff that might be helpful. Look especially for success stories. You'd be amazed at how far medicine has come in the last 15 years, and how effective the meds are.
Fourth, keep the fighting attitude. A friend of mine -- a survivor of simultaneous lung, breast and armpit lymph cancers -- described sitting in meetings with fellow breast cancer patients. Some just looked defeated, even though each one of them had far less severe cases than she had. Not one of the defeated-looking patients made it. You'll find that it's surprisingly easy to remain combative once you've begun to shuck aside some of the fear. Just think about the people you love and the things you want to do with them in the years ahead. That should be all the inspiration you need. Furthermore, you'll find that your attitude will change (likely for the better) the moment you get into treatment. It's like going from pre-game jitters to the game. Once the game is on, you don't have any choice. You have to play. So play to win.
Fifth: Realize that fear is a complete waste of time, even though it will creep up on you from time to time. Your full-time job now is to get well. Blogs are nice, but living is more fundamental. The most important part of the aforementioned fighting attitude is to set fear aside and get determined about getting well.
Sixth, relish and embrace your faith. I kept a file of what I called "healing verses," many of which had been forwarded through well-wishers. You can find them sprinkled everywhere in the Bible; Psalms and Proverbs are especially rich sources. Prayer is an amazing thing, and the healing power of prayer -- something I always suspected before getting cancer -- is palpable and real. You've seen the responses already on your site: These people are pulling for you, as are hundreds or even thousands who aren't writing. There's no greater honor than having somebody you don't know asking God to help you. Somehow, the word trickles back, and it will make you stronger."
Through no action on my part, perhaps other than my humanity, I have been blessed beyond reason. I put this out to all of you today; God bless you, and thank you for everything. This particular fight with cancer has been mostly won, but the war goes on. I will lick this thing beyond any shadow of a doubt and though some doubtlessly dark days lay ahead, I know that bright sunshine and gentle cleansing rain will also be there in full measure and at the right time.
Blogging will continue, but I wanted to take this moment to say thanks to all you out there. Your help has been immeasurable whether you are aware of it or not.
Fight On!!