Bill Gates Brought Before Congress To Answer For Epstein, Windows Vista

[Votto]

Bill Gates Brought Before Congress To Answer For Epstein, Windows Vista​

Celebs·Jun 11, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Microsoft founder and former CEO Bill Gates was brought before the United States Congress this week to answer for his connection to convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and Windows Vista.

The House Oversight Committee held the hearing behind closed doors to ensure that Gates could speak freely without fear of public blowback regarding the creation and release of Windows Vista.

According to sources, the hearing became rather heated when Representative Jasmine Crockett joined Republicans to lay into Gates for unleashing Windows Vista upon the world.

A leaked portion of the official hearing transcript read as follows:

CROCKETT: Vista was a memory hog. XP was way better! Why did you do it, Gates?

GATES: Uh, we were launching Games for Windows at the time and we thought developers would follow our lead and work with the higher hardware demands —

CROCKETT: You polished a turd, Gates! I got driver errors for years! Driver errors! My printer never worked! Why?

GATES: Well, it would depend on the printer and —

CROCKETT: Was Windows Vista good for America? Yes or no?

GATES: Uh, it was more secure —

CROCKETT: I'll take that as a no. Chair, I reclaim my time.

Gates was reportedly caught off guard by accusations related to Windows Vista, seemingly more prepared to argue that he barely knew Epstein at all.

A photo of Gates sweating profusely during the hearing was reportedly leaked by Representative Lauren Boebert, who also posed with a selfie in front of a copy of Windows XP.

Though reportedly honest and forthcoming regarding his interactions with Epstein over the years, Gates offered no comment in response to the numerous allegations related to Windows Vista.

At publishing time, Microsoft had issued a press release condemning Windows Vista and apologizing to its customers.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

Bill Gates Brought Before Congress To Answer For Epstein, Windows Vista​

Celebs·Jun 11, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1268122

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Microsoft founder and former CEO Bill Gates was brought before the United States Congress this week to answer for his connection to convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and Windows Vista.

The House Oversight Committee held the hearing behind closed doors to ensure that Gates could speak freely without fear of public blowback regarding the creation and release of Windows Vista.

According to sources, the hearing became rather heated when Representative Jasmine Crockett joined Republicans to lay into Gates for unleashing Windows Vista upon the world.

A leaked portion of the official hearing transcript read as follows:


Gates was reportedly caught off guard by accusations related to Windows Vista, seemingly more prepared to argue that he barely knew Epstein at all.

A photo of Gates sweating profusely during the hearing was reportedly leaked by Representative Lauren Boebert, who also posed with a selfie in front of a copy of Windows XP.

Though reportedly honest and forthcoming regarding his interactions with Epstein over the years, Gates offered no comment in response to the numerous allegations related to Windows Vista.

At publishing time, Microsoft had issued a press release condemning Windows Vista and apologizing to its customers.

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There isn't a punishment harsh enough for that foul demon that thinks it's a man.

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[Votto]

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There isn't a punishment harsh enough for that foul demon that thinks it's a man.

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Another fan of Vista I see.



About the only justice he will ever face in this life probably came from his ex wife.