A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant...


Charter Member
May 8, 2004
Podunk, WI
A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, and giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and free education!" But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican".

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says "I no American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Middle East, I am not an American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Russia!" So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says... "Probably at work!"
A Somalian moves to Minneapolis and is amazed by the amount of restaurants. He walks into one and eats a delicious chili relleno and some guacamole. He says to the owner, "I love this American food." The owner says, "This is Mexican food."

The Somalian strolls a bit and walks into another restaurant and has a wonderful bowl of beef noodle soup, tells the owner, "I love American food." The owner says, "Not American food, Vietnamese food!"

Mr. Somalian moves on until he sees another great restaurant and walks in and orders some hummous, felafel and schawarma. He tells the owner, "I love this American food." The owner says, "This isn't. It's Middle Eastern."

Confused, the Somalian is not really hungry but passes a restaurant which has more people in it than all the other restaurants combined. He is asked for his order, and not familiar with the cuisine, says, "I'll have what they're having." After taking a few bites he asks, "What is this horrible shit? What kind of food is this? "

The people behind the counter say, "This is American food. Welcome to MacDonald's."
Maybe in New England and the Midwest, but there are many uniquely American dishes.

Turkey and corn are native only to North America, and they beat the crap out of duck and rice.

Authentic barbeque is a dish that can only be obtained in certain regions of the former Confederacy or from people who are from that region. Barbeque also beats the crap out of anything grilled.

Cornbread is another thing that can only be had in the South. Inferior variations have sugar already in them, which ruins the taste of the otherwise gritty bread, which is traditionally served with butter and molassas.

Grits, another corn derived food, are uniquely American and, when served correctly and with appropriate add-ons, are better then oatmeal and beat the crap out of Cream of Wheat.

Cajun cuisine, another uniquely American range of food, features dishes using alligator, crawfish (crawdads), and other seafood traditionally cooked in a blend of spices that makes Mexican food look wimpy.

Despite originating in true Chinese cuisine, the Chinese food served in America now isn't true Chinese food and has been adjusted to American tastes to the extent that it barely resembles the dishes it originated from. The same goes for any food from the Far East, with the exception of some Japanese dishes. The whole craze started with 'Chop Suey,' a cheap, quick meal originally served for lunch in San Francisco's Chinatown. 'Chop Suey' is actually an English slur of the Cantonese "shap sui," which roughly translates to 'this and that.'

America has also done things with crab and lobster than other countries can only dream of.

On the other hand, the hamburger and the hot dog started in Germany, and French Fries, formerly knows as chips, started in England.

Yeah, I couldn't leave it alone, but apparantly, neither could you.
Don't get me wrong Hobbit, I love American regional cuisine.

This is the humor forum. In my joke the immigrants are living the American dream with their own family restaurants while the Americans are eating corporate swill.

It's a joke son.

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