6 grade girls post a death cartoon video of a classmate on youtube

[Agnapostate]

I don't believe we live in Candyland, but everyone views their own child through slightly rose tinted glasses don't you think?

"Slightly"?

And I'm not sure that allowing my daughter to go through the hell of social ostracism in order to prove my point would be beneficial to her in the long term.

It doesn't seem as though your "solution" was far more effective, to be honest. What it likely encouraged was greater stealth.

 

[strollingbones]

An 11 year old not knowing the word "****"? Kind of far-fetched...

************.

Maybe for you.

hmmmm how is that not smokin going there tiger?

 

[tigerbob]

An 11 year old not knowing the word "****"? Kind of far-fetched...

************.

Maybe for you.

hmmmm how is that not smokin going there tiger?

LOL! It's going fine. I was clarifying word usage from a previous post, not hurling insults.

 

[tigerbob]

I don't believe we live in Candyland, but everyone views their own child through slightly rose tinted glasses don't you think?

"Slightly"?

And I'm not sure that allowing my daughter to go through the hell of social ostracism in order to prove my point would be beneficial to her in the long term.

It doesn't seem as though your "solution" was far more effective, to be honest. What it likely encouraged was greater stealth.

To be honest, you don't really know what you're talking about. According to her teachers her attitude is much improved, and I have seen a dramatic improvement in her grades.

Clearly our views differ on the meaning of "more effective".

 

[Agnapostate]

sounds wonderful. good for you.

 

[strollingbones]

bob's right in what he did....let her start saying mother fuckier to people...next thing will be some smoke and sex....my parents were strict as hell....and yet we managed to do and get into things ..mostly trouble

 

[Agnapostate]

Then doesn't that kind of ruin the point?

 

[tigerbob]

Then doesn't that kind of ruin the point?

No. The theory is that the more rope you give them....

Kids will always get into trouble. It's a matter of deciding what's mischief that you can turn a blind eye to and what's dangerous, irresponsible or unacceptable and needs to be picked up.

The laissez-faire approach will almost always lead nowhere good.

 

[Harry Dresden]

Well, come to think of it, there was this BULLY that live next door to us, on Base, in Puerto Rico....I was 5 years old and my sister was 7 years old and this BULLY constantly picked on my sister and constantly beat up my older sister, who was shy and not as strong and determined as me, at 5....but I was soooo much smaller than this girl of 8 years old, the BULLY that used to push around my older sister...

My mother used to tell me when we went out to play, now you watch out for your sister...even though I was younger...she meant, that I should come home and tell her if someone or this bully was picking on her.

Well, the playground was across the street...this bully came over and started pushing my sister around, so I ran to my OTHER neighbor's house, where Mark and Art lived...mark was my sister's age 7 and Art was my age 5, and got them to come to the playground to help out....when we got back there my sister was on the ground with skinned knees from being pushed by this Bully girl....

Soooooooooooo, I had mark and art as backup and went to the bully and started defending my sister and had mark and art hold on to this bully and i hit her with a stick! (not a big stick but still!)



YES, MOI....me, goodie two shoes me....set up the 'three against one' on to this bully....

And I just thought I was doing what my mom said, Watch out for my sister!!!! hahahahahaha!!!

PS she NEVER picked on my sister again!

today you would have been arrested and led away cuffed....a major story in the media....

 

[strollingbones]

no..it makes bob's point....with teenagers its a slippery slope....you over correct sometimes....but it is better to over correct than not to correct....a half ass corrected dog is a half ass trained dog...same with kids...and he is dealing with the age where they turn on you...i dont think anyone but a parent can understand how much it brings on your own heart the first time your little one cries it breaks your heart that doesnt ever stop....but you got to be hard...if you are not hard they will run you down....and take right over....it still hurts to ground a kid or take away things from them...i assure you they will make you feel terrible

 

[Harry Dresden]

Is that a state ordinance where you live?

I've been punished at school once for something I did outside of school. I guess I have to tell the story now:

I used to smoke a ton of pot in high school. At the end of my sophomore year I skipped the "Senior Honors Assembly" with a buddy, to go toke on a bong. We were stupid enough to go back to school without putting cologne on. Sure enough we got busted, and suspended for the first semester of the next year.

Being the typical teenager, that wasnt much of a deterrent for me. While suspended I was at a party that sure enough got busted by the mother of the kid throwing it. Sure enough, parents were called as well as the High School, which in turn made it to the "Safety School" (God that makes it sound like I liked to play with fire or something). I then had to deal with a shit-load of disclipinary BS, and was even forced to sign an agreement stating that any reported infraction of "rules of the home" by my mother would result in AT LEAST another semesters suspension.

Just curious.

so you went off campus to get high,and then came back to school i take it?if so,i can see the school getting involved....you have an illegal smile....and a funny odor....BUSTED!!!!....

 

[Harry Dresden]

no..it makes bob's point....with teenagers its a slippery slope....you over correct sometimes....but it is better to over correct than not to correct....a half ass corrected dog is a half ass trained dog...same with kids...and he is dealing with the age where they turn on you...i dont think anyone but a parent can understand how much it brings on your own heart the first time your little one cries it breaks your heart that doesnt ever stop....but you got to be hard...if you are not hard they will run you down....and take right over....it still hurts to ground a kid or take away things from them...i assure you they will make you feel terrible

it has nothing to do with Bobs point.....the conversation was about discipline for doing something stupid.....im saying if Brewer and his 2 accomplices were stopped by a teacher say,for using a STICK to beat another who is being held by 2 others,this incident would have made todays news,and would have been made into a MUCH bigger incident then what it was....all im sayin...

 

[Father Time]

no..it makes bob's point....with teenagers its a slippery slope....you over correct sometimes....but it is better to over correct than not to correct....a half ass corrected dog is a half ass trained dog...same with kids...and he is dealing with the age where they turn on you...i dont think anyone but a parent can understand how much it brings on your own heart the first time your little one cries it breaks your heart that doesnt ever stop....but you got to be hard...if you are not hard they will run you down....and take right over....it still hurts to ground a kid or take away things from them...i assure you they will make you feel terrible

it has nothing to do with Bobs point.....the conversation was about discipline for doing something stupid.....im saying if Brewer and his 2 accomplices were stopped by a teacher say,for using a STICK to beat another who is being held by 2 others,this incident would have made todays news,and would have been made into a MUCH bigger incident then what it was....all im sayin...

Like this entire thread.

 

[Harry Dresden]

no..it makes bob's point....with teenagers its a slippery slope....you over correct sometimes....but it is better to over correct than not to correct....a half ass corrected dog is a half ass trained dog...same with kids...and he is dealing with the age where they turn on you...i dont think anyone but a parent can understand how much it brings on your own heart the first time your little one cries it breaks your heart that doesnt ever stop....but you got to be hard...if you are not hard they will run you down....and take right over....it still hurts to ground a kid or take away things from them...i assure you they will make you feel terrible

it has nothing to do with Bobs point.....the conversation was about discipline for doing something stupid.....im saying if Brewer and his 2 accomplices were stopped by a teacher say,for using a STICK to beat another who is being held by 2 others,this incident would have made todays news,and would have been made into a MUCH bigger incident then what it was....all im sayin...

Like this entire thread.

but you stuck around to read it....

 

[Barb]

no..it makes bob's point....with teenagers its a slippery slope....you over correct sometimes....but it is better to over correct than not to correct....a half ass corrected dog is a half ass trained dog...same with kids...and he is dealing with the age where they turn on you...i dont think anyone but a parent can understand how much it brings on your own heart the first time your little one cries it breaks your heart that doesnt ever stop....but you got to be hard...if you are not hard they will run you down....and take right over....it still hurts to ground a kid or take away things from them...i assure you they will make you feel terrible

I don't know about all that. Anytime my mother made a reference to "training" or "breaking" me she was dismissed. I never told her anything or confided in her, because I didn't trust her. I understood later in life that her own experiences shaped the parent she was, still, I didn't repeat.

I've been a rather soft touch most of the time, but I picked my battles wisely I think. If they scared the shit out of me, I scared the shit out of them. Safety first. For the most part I told them daily that they were loved, expressed to them the many facets of their personalities that I saw as lovable, and let them know that no matter what, thick or thin, I had their back, even if they had to fix something they'd done wrong, and if they did wrong, they'd have to fix it. I let them know I had high expectations of them as people by telling them how proud I was of them for the people they are. Damned if it didn't work. They tell me everything, They don't drink, smoke, steal, or do drugs. My oldest is in college and my youngest, smart as he is, is intent on attending summer school. Ah, well, nobody's perfect.

I don't believe children, people, should be trained. I believe they should be taught how, rather than what to think.