Zen Judaism

Discussion in 'Humor' started by dilloduck, May 10, 2004.

  1. dilloduck

    dilloduck Diamond Member

    May 8, 2004
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    Austin, TX
    > Wherever you go, there you are.
    > Your luggage is another story.
    > To practice Zen and the art of
    > Jewish motorcycle maintenance,
    > do the following: Get rid of the motorcycle.
    > What were you thinking?
    > Learn of the pine from the pine.
    > Learn of the bamboo from the bamboo.
    > Learn of the kugel from the kugel.
    > If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
    > Breathe in. Breathe out. Breath e in. Breathe out.
    > Forget these simple things and attaining
    > Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
    > The Tao has no expectations.
    > The Tao demands nothing of others.
    > The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame.
    > The Tao does not take sides.
    > The Tao is not Jewish.
    > Drink tea and nourish life.
    > With the first sip, joy.
    > With the second, satisfaction.
    > With the third, Danish.
    > The Buddha taught that one should practice
    > loving-kindness to all sentient beings.
    > Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient
    > being who happens to be Jewish?
    > To Find you inner self, look within.
    > Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
    > Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
    > Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
    > You might want to see a specialist.
    > Be here now.
    > Be someplace ce else later.
    > Is that so complicated?
    > Zen is not easy.
    > It takes effort to attain nothingness.
    > And then what do you have?....
  2. nycflasher

    nycflasher Active Member

    Apr 15, 2004
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    That's hillarious:D
    Along the lines of funny things I hear today:

    Saturday night I was at a bar playing pool with a friend who works for an insurance company. One of the guys we were playing against was kind of an ass, a fact which kept coming up in conversation.

    So my buddy goes into work today, and who does he see?

    The guy works with him! lol
    Sits in the cubicle almost directly across form him.
    Apparently, the guy didn't even remember playing pool on Sat.
    Some people shouldn't drink, at all.:p:
    Anyway, small world... a small Zen Judaist of a world.

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