Would you stay in a sexless relationship?

[xsited1]

Saw this question on another forum where a condition prevents some women from having intercourse b/c they involuntarily have spasms down yonder, making sex too painful.

Women, if your husband had a medical impotent problem, would you stand by his side, even if that meant no sex again?

Men, if your wife had a med condition which prevented her from being intimate sexually(vaginally) could you stand by her side?

Why or why not?

It depends on how much money she has and how good looking the maid is.

 

[Luissa]

that I do hope for also. I just hope when I am 80 I will still want to have it at least once a month.

I predict a broken hip in your distant future ....

it is the price you gotta pay!

 

[geauxtohell]

Makes sense to people who don't think of marriage as merely an endless string of one-night stands.

I've never had a one night stand.

You are free to do what you want, but I am watching too many marriages break up simply because two people with incompatable libidos got married.

 

[geauxtohell]

You're not talking about the driveability. You're talking about rejecting a great vehicle because you don't like the stereo system, and I'd rather have something that runs forever and just hum to myself than have great tunes but never leave the driveway.

Sex is too a marriage as a stereo is too a car?

Sorry, I think not.

More like (IMO)

Sex is too a marriage as a motor is too a car.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Makes sense to people who don't think of marriage as merely an endless string of one-night stands.

I've never had a one night stand.

You are free to do what you want, but I am watching too many marriages break up simply because two people with incompatable libidos got married.

Then you are watching a lot of people with really shitty priorities in life.

I can see a marriage ending over a lack of sex that's actually masking REAL problems between the couple, but just because I want to get laid more than he does? That's just shallow.

 

[Cecilie1200]

You're not talking about the driveability. You're talking about rejecting a great vehicle because you don't like the stereo system, and I'd rather have something that runs forever and just hum to myself than have great tunes but never leave the driveway.

Sex is too a marriage as a stereo is too a car?

Sorry, I think not.

More like (IMO)

Sex is too a marriage as a motor is too a car.

No, it really, really isn't. If sex is the only thing powering your marriage, then you don't have much of a marriage, and you're going to wind up divorced, lonely, and bitter at some point in life.

Sex in a marriage should be an expression of the things that SHOULD be powering it. It makes me sad that you don't seem to know what those things are.

 

[geauxtohell]

Then you are watching a lot of people with really shitty priorities in life.

No, I am watching a lot of people shun the religious conventions they were raised under in favor of trying to find someone that deserves them as opposed to a spouse who refuses to participate in a marriage.

I don't blame them.

I can see a marriage ending over a lack of sex that's actually masking REAL problems between the couple, but just because I want to get laid more than he does? That's just shallow.

Real problems are physiological. I would count clinical depression among those.

Also, I haven't seen anyone, to include myself, suggest that they would leave a marriage because you wanted to have sex 5 times a week and your partner was a "3 times a week" kind of person.

I am talking about a relationship where it's completely or virtually (a few times a year) cut off.

More importantly, find someone with a compatable libido so you'll both be happy.

There's nothing wrong, per se, with only wanting sex a few times a year as long as you marry someone that only wants it a few times a year too. If you marry someone that wants it three times a week, it's a train wreck or misery waiting to happen.

 

[geauxtohell]

No, it really, really isn't.

In your opinion. I choose not to be in a marriage like that. Luckily I am not.

If sex is the only thing powering your marriage, then you don't have much of a marriage, and you're going to wind up divorced, lonely, and bitter at some point in life.

I would say the same thing if you regarded sex as a "stereo". A car can work without a stereo. It can't work without a motor. You just have a shell.

Sex in a marriage should be an expression of the things that SHOULD be powering it. It makes me sad that you don't seem to know what those things are.

Oh please, get off your soapbox. You don't know anything about me or my marriage other than a few random vignettes from an anonymous internet message board.

I guess you can be glad that you didn't marry me or I didn't marry your daughter.

 

[Vanquish]

Wow. I'd love to hear the backgrounds of the people posting in this thread. Sex is an important part of a marriage and to say that it's just something extra is weird to me.

We have biological urges that if they go untended to, reap psychological consequences. Sex is one of those urges.

I've been married for 10 years and lately the sex has become non-existent. Even working on the romance angle, the money angle, lessening responsibilities that weigh on her mind, talking about it...etc.

I've never cheated, but a sexless marriage is torture. It's easy to say "Id stay in the relationship because marriage is sacred" or "too many people get divorces and Im better than that" but until you're in the situation, I dont think you realize just how dire it is.

 

[strollingbones]

well i would think refusing to have sex with your partner says a lot about the relationship...doesnt it?

I wholeheartedly believe that if anyone has been cut off than they have most likely contributed to it in some way. The only time a woman may cut a man off(when it's not medical) is if he is treating her like crap, or if he has cheated.

I believe with men it's different. I had a friend who was ridiculously overweight(she looked about 300pounds) and she always complained that he husb NEVER wanted sex. She said she'd wear the lingerie, bust out the champagne etc, and he would never budge. I had another friend as well who had the same problem, and she was overweight as well. I put 2+2 together and figured that it had to be the weight. Most healthy young men do not turn sex down.

I believe what you seem to wholeheartedly believe is an overgeneralization. While I am sure that a woman might want to have sex with someone who mistreats her, then are a number of women who just do not enjoy sex.

My wife and I have not had sex for eight and a half years (my only son's procreation). Our sex life was poor even before that. At two and a half my son was diagnosed with autism and our lives became hellish. My only niece also has autism and genetics are probably one factor in autism (probably several have to come together). Since my family is two for two on autistic kids, my wife is terrified of further sex. Also, she blames me and my genes for my son's autism. She has vowed before God that she will not have sex with me ever again.

As for me, I am not happy about this, but my son needs me so I am there for him and treat my wife as best I can. BTW, my wife is a great mother and loves a boy no one else will love more than life itself.

i have to call total bullshit on this....if she doesnt want more kids with you....have a vas...how can you say that she is a great mother when she is denying herself so much?

after thirst and hunger...sex is the greatest drive we have...to deny this drive and push it aside is to deny being human. which yall seem to be more than willing to do.

as for sex drive waning as you age...for some it does...for some, the freedom of no chance of more babies ,...kids being out of the house etc...makes for great sex.

anyone who allows their partner, male or female, to just cut them off for no good reason is allowing a great deal of their spirit and life to be taken.

yes, a partner cutting the other parnter off says a lot about the relationship...why would someone want to delete the intimacy in their life? sex is a great deal of intimacy...if the person is unable that is one thing...unwilling is another. unwilling means they are rejecting you.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Then you are watching a lot of people with really shitty priorities in life.

No, I am watching a lot of people shun the religious conventions they were raised under in favor of trying to find someone that deserves them as opposed to a spouse who refuses to participate in a marriage.

I don't blame them.

And I don't sympathize when people like this end up old, lonely, and bitter.

I can see a marriage ending over a lack of sex that's actually masking REAL problems between the couple, but just because I want to get laid more than he does? That's just shallow.

Real problems are physiological. I would count clinical depression among those.

Also, I haven't seen anyone, to include myself, suggest that they would leave a marriage because you wanted to have sex 5 times a week and your partner was a "3 times a week" kind of person.

I am talking about a relationship where it's completely or virtually (a few times a year) cut off.

More importantly, find someone with a compatable libido so you'll both be happy.

There's nothing wrong, per se, with only wanting sex a few times a year as long as you marry someone that only wants it a few times a year too. If you marry someone that wants it three times a week, it's a train wreck or misery waiting to happen.

More importantly, marry someone for reasons other than sex, so that you have something real to hold onto if the inevitable changes of life aren't always happy.

 

[Cecilie1200]

No, it really, really isn't.

In your opinion. I choose not to be in a marriage like that. Luckily I am not.

If sex is the only thing powering your marriage, then you don't have much of a marriage, and you're going to wind up divorced, lonely, and bitter at some point in life.

I would say the same thing if you regarded sex as a "stereo". A car can work without a stereo. It can't work without a motor. You just have a shell.

Yeah, I just have a shell. A shell that's seen me through fourteen years of marriage, two dead parents, multiple serious illnesses, financial difficulties, three children, and a grandchild. Oh, GOD, I should have left him for a REAL marriage based on getting laid more!

Sex in a marriage should be an expression of the things that SHOULD be powering it. It makes me sad that you don't seem to know what those things are.

Oh please, get off your soapbox. You don't know anything about me or my marriage other than a few random vignettes from an anonymous internet message board.

I guess you can be glad that you didn't marry me or I didn't marry your daughter.

Oh, please get over yourself and that incessant need to make everything personal. I wasn't talking about your marriage specifically, although since you decided you had to go there because you're either self-absorbed and make everything about you or I hit a nerve and you're defensive and you had to specifically insult my marriage, I guess I'm talking about yours NOW.

Believe me, I'm ecstatic that no one in my family is stupid enough to marry someone so shallow. I need a life partner, not just a sex partner.

 

[Liability]

Stop being so delusional.

When you're young and newly married, sex matters a LOT.

But after a period of time, another word for "married" is


"celibate."

 

[jillian]

Stop being so delusional.

When you're young and newly married, sex matters a LOT.

But after a period of time, another word for "married" is


"celibate."

You're too young to think that.

It depends on the marriage and how hard people are willing to work to keep that part of their lives vital.

 

[Liability]

Stop being so delusional.

When you're young and newly married, sex matters a LOT.

But after a period of time, another word for "married" is


"celibate."

You're too young to think that.

It depends on the marriage and how hard people are willing to work to keep that part of their lives vital.

Jillian, I realize I am wicked immature and all, but how old do you think I am?

 

[roomy]

Nope, the foundation of our relationship is sex.She likes it better when the sun shines.

 

[roomy]

Give you girls a bit of sunshine and WHOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH... there horsie.

 

[jillian]

Jillian, I realize I am wicked immature and all, but how old do you think I am?

too young.

seriously... I recall you saying you were young, but I don't remember what you said.

 

[Liability]

Jillian, I realize I am wicked immature and all, but how old do you think I am?

too young.

seriously... I recall you saying you were young, but I don't remember what you said.

It is time to question your recall.

Perhaps it is someone else whose self-revelation you have in mind.

I am not a feeble old man. But I would not qualify as "young" anymore, in the view of most folks.

 

[jillian]

It is time to question your recall.

well, that sucks.

[QUOTEPerhaps it is someone else whose self-revelation you have in mind.

I am not a feeble old man. But I would not qualify as "young" anymore, in the view of most folks.[/QUOTE]

well then...sorry 'bout that, chief.