Working with Anger and Hatred

[AllieBaba]

You are both equally insane, I know that much.

 

[Sky Dancer]

A gun owner? That's a push for me, lol.

More than just a gun owner. I practice/train in self-defense scenarios. I carry a handgun (and other self-defense tools) as a matter of my daily life. I would have no problem using them on another human being if properly provoked to do so.

Truth is, Allie doesn't want me to have any friends, so she's attacking you. She seeks to isolate me on the messageboards.

It's kind of DV tactic, actually.

I think this may be a situation where we have a common nemesis, Sky. She doesn't like me either, so I would guess that means we're likely to get along pretty well.

You're right. We have a common nemesis. Allie is very clear who likes and who she doesn't.
We're going to get along great.

 

[AllieBaba]

BTW, one of the most effective ways to get a trauma VICTIM to open up is to use a very confrontational approach. Because some of them are very evasive, and not only does it affect them, it affects everyone around them. This isn't to say they aren't justified in their evasion but sometimes it takes a real confrontation for them to get their cards on the table so they can cope with them and get on with their lives.

I've seen this time and again in treatment. Sky's an idiot to poo-pooh it and it just reinforces my gut feeling that she's a hack who's primary purpose as a *volunteer counselor* isn't to counsel but to indoctrinate people into whatever cult she's promoting.

Actually, one of the best ways to get a trauma survivor to open up is to be kind. You think of the person like an injured animal you've come across in the woods. You don't use a confrontational loud shouting approach at all. You're very gentle, and quiet, relaxed and spacious. Traumatized people are easily startled. They're wounded.

You're indirect. You don't stare. You don't act aggressively. You sit with your heart open and your loving arms available and when you touch the animal, you do so gently.

Your gut feeling is your gut feeling.

If you want to think I'm the devil incarnate, go right ahead. I have great respect for the way you teach me to be patient.

Fuck off, Sky. I know how to deal with REAL trauma and survivors. I've actually been paid to do it and am actually qualified to do it. I have done it, and in intensive, explosive situations. So take your crap and shove it right back up your ass from whence it came.

 

[Sky Dancer]

You are both equally insane, I know that much.

Coming from you, I can live with that.

 

[Anachronism]

You are both equally insane, I know that much.

I will take that as the highest possible compliment, Allie.

 

[AllieBaba]

BTW, my methods work just fine on you, Sky. You're too dense to see it, but you've shared a lot about yourself and had a lot of your foibles brought out into the light as a direct result of your interactions with me.

 

[AllieBaba]

Ew..you guys are starting to creep me out, lol.

 

[dilloduck]

A gun owner? That's a push for me, lol.

More than just a gun owner. I practice/train in self-defense scenarios. I carry a handgun (and other self-defense tools) as a matter of my daily life. I would have no problem using them on another human being if properly provoked to do so.

Truth is, Allie doesn't want me to have any friends, so she's attacking you. She seeks to isolate me on the messageboards.

It's kind of DV tactic, actually.

I think this may be a situation where we have a common nemesis, Sky. She doesn't like me either, so I would guess that means we're likely to get along pretty well.

Be careful. A couple of victims hanging out together can get dicey.

 

[Sky Dancer]

BTW, one of the most effective ways to get a trauma VICTIM to open up is to use a very confrontational approach. Because some of them are very evasive, and not only does it affect them, it affects everyone around them. This isn't to say they aren't justified in their evasion but sometimes it takes a real confrontation for them to get their cards on the table so they can cope with them and get on with their lives.

I've seen this time and again in treatment. Sky's an idiot to poo-pooh it and it just reinforces my gut feeling that she's a hack who's primary purpose as a *volunteer counselor* isn't to counsel but to indoctrinate people into whatever cult she's promoting.

Actually, one of the best ways to get a trauma survivor to open up is to be kind. You think of the person like an injured animal you've come across in the woods. You don't use a confrontational loud shouting approach at all. You're very gentle, and quiet, relaxed and spacious. Traumatized people are easily startled. They're wounded.

You're indirect. You don't stare. You don't act aggressively. You sit with your heart open and your loving arms available and when you touch the animal, you do so gently.

Your gut feeling is your gut feeling.

If you want to think I'm the devil incarnate, go right ahead. I have great respect for the way you teach me to be patient.

Sky. I know how to deal with REAL trauma and survivors. I've actually been paid to do it and am actually qualified to do it. I have done it, and in intensive, explosive situations. QUOTE]

We have that in common. I am a trauma expert in my private counseling practice. I'm paid to do it, too.

I also volunteer as a Crisis Domestic Violence Advocate. I help people join the cult of not being abused.

 

[Sky Dancer]

A gun owner? That's a push for me, lol.

More than just a gun owner. I practice/train in self-defense scenarios. I carry a handgun (and other self-defense tools) as a matter of my daily life. I would have no problem using them on another human being if properly provoked to do so.

Truth is, Allie doesn't want me to have any friends, so she's attacking you. She seeks to isolate me on the messageboards.

It's kind of DV tactic, actually.

I think this may be a situation where we have a common nemesis, Sky. She doesn't like me either, so I would guess that means we're likely to get along pretty well.

Be careful. A couple of victims hanging out together can get dicey.

Absolutely. We turn ourselves into empowered survivors and then look out dillo and alliebaba. Be glad I'm a non-violent Buddhist who doesn't own a gun.

 

[AllieBaba]

Then pull your head out of your ass and quit playing games.

 

[Anachronism]

Be careful. A couple of victims hanging out together can get dicey.

I don't know. She can feel free to hide behind me any time while I shoot who/whatever it is that is currently trying to vicitimize her.

 

[Two Thumbs]

I don't hate God. I don't hate Jesus. I hate what his followers do in his name.

So you hate the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, all the charity work that is done world wide?

Ignorance is not bliss, it's just ignorance.

Call me a hater. It's true. I hate Christians. Big ones, little ones, fat ones, skinny ones, old ones, young ones. etc etc etc.

No, I don't hate the Red Cross or the Salvation Army. If you want me to, I could add them to my list.

Thanks for clearing that up for me Sky.

Good bye

 

[dilloduck]

Be careful. A couple of victims hanging out together can get dicey.

I don't know. She can feel free to hide behind me any time while I shoot who/whatever it is that is currently trying to vicitimize her.

You will have to shoot her. That will suck.

 

[dilloduck]

More than just a gun owner. I practice/train in self-defense scenarios. I carry a handgun (and other self-defense tools) as a matter of my daily life. I would have no problem using them on another human being if properly provoked to do so.



I think this may be a situation where we have a common nemesis, Sky. She doesn't like me either, so I would guess that means we're likely to get along pretty well.

Be careful. A couple of victims hanging out together can get dicey.

Absolutely. We turn ourselves into empowered survivors and then look out dillo and alliebaba. Be glad I'm a non-violent Buddhist who doesn't own a gun.

Oh I'm well aware of what victims do when confronted with the fact that their behavior only serves to drive them deeper into victim hood.

 

[Anachronism]

You will have to shoot her. That will suck.

Somehow I strongly doubt that I would have to shoot her, dillo. Though I understand exactly what you're saying.

Trust me, in some cases Paranoia is a reasonable reaction to what one's life has been like.

 

[emilynghiem]

http://www.houstonprogressive.org

Dear Sky: As one Buddhist monk said, either Thich Nhat Hanh or the Dalai Lama, that anger is commonly used in our American culture to motivate change, as in politics or social reforms. However, the true motivation should be "compassion."
Because this is pure, while anger only goes so far.

The way I would see anger as constructive is comparing it to fire.
There are ways that fire refines raw materials and facilitates the process.

There are ways that fire is used to burn away dead brush
and to preserve and help forest restoration. But when fire burns out of control,
it starts to devour the good with the bad, so that is where we must keep it in check.

Anger is a natural phase of the grief and healing process.
It helps to burn away impure thoughts, to help us commit to change
to prevent what made us so angry.

So we must keep that in balance, and use it for good not for destructive purposes.

What I suggest is balancing it with Water.
Water is like the soothing cleansing part of the process that also washes away impurities.

Sadness, repentance, even depression can be part of our spiritual healing process also.
But if we are so sad we are drowning in tears and cannot get out,
that is too much on the other extreme.

So I try to balance Fire with Water.
When things get too hot or too angry, just think how sorry you are for
this anger and suffering and let sadness and "tears for humanity"
wash away and cool down some of the fires of anger that otherwise burn too hot.

Likewise, if things get so bogged down in depression you think you are drowning in tears and sorry, then think "angry thoughts" to refocus, to make yourself change,
and let the fiery energy burn away or dry up some of the excess water or sadness
that is flooding you too much.

So that is my meditation.
To balance Fire with Water, when there is too much of one,
then add more of the other. Use both for positive steps in the process,
and not anything negative that detracts or obstructs your ultimate goal.

Take care Sky
You have good friends on your path
so it is good to give thanks for these
Thinking of what you are most thankful for,
and focusing there is better than too much anger

If you can find a better way to direct this anger to changing
something you can improve in yourself, I believe the constant anger will stop

When you are at peace you would feel more happy thankful thoughts
when you think of Christians, instead of thinking angry thoughts and attaching to that.

Here are 9 prayers by Thich Nhat Hanh on peaceful thoughts of others,
even those who cause us the most suffering:
http://www.houstonprogressive.org

 

[dilloduck]

You will have to shoot her. That will suck.

Somehow I strongly doubt that I would have to shoot her, dillo. Though I understand exactly what you're saying.

Trust me, in some cases Paranoia is a reasonable reaction to what one's life has been like.

Hanging on to it for years will kill you from the inside but some irrationally think you need it for protection.

 

[Anachronism]

Hanging on to it for years will kill you from the inside but some irrationally think you need it for protection.

dillo, I can count the number of TRUE FRIENDS I've had in almost 37 years on one hand and still have fingers to spare. I can count the number of decent relationships I've had with women on one hand and have ALL the fingers left to spare. Eventually one realizes that for some of us the world Outside just really doesn't hold much to value. Whether that's because of US or the WORLD is immaterial. We build our walls and really the only way to hurt us is to besiege us and try to poison our water supply because the walls are just too thick to be breached at this point.

 

[emilynghiem]

BTW, one of the most effective ways to get a trauma VICTIM to open up is to use a very confrontational approach. Because some of them are very evasive, and not only does it affect them, it affects everyone around them. This isn't to say they aren't justified in their evasion but sometimes it takes a real confrontation for them to get their cards on the table so they can cope with them and get on with their lives.

I've seen this time and again in treatment. Sky's an idiot to poo-pooh it and it just reinforces my gut feeling that she's a hack who's primary purpose as a *volunteer counselor* isn't to counsel but to indoctrinate people into whatever cult she's promoting.

Actually, one of the best ways to get a trauma survivor to open up is to be kind. You think of the person like an injured animal you've come across in the woods. You don't use a confrontational loud shouting approach at all. You're very gentle, and quiet, relaxed and spacious. Traumatized people are easily startled. They're wounded.

You're indirect. You don't stare. You don't act aggressively. You sit with your heart open and your loving arms available and when you touch the animal, you do so gently.

Your gut feeling is your gut feeling.

If you want to think I'm the devil incarnate, go right ahead. I have great respect for the way you teach me to be patient.

Hi Sky and Allie:
I see that Allie practices this confrontational method here based on her understanding it works to compel people out of denial. I believe that should work in cases that the gentle approach does not work, but keeps them in denial. I understand that works in such cases.

But Sky when you talk of being kind and gentle, and not acting aggressively,
where is this in your active hatred toward Christians and setting up bashing threads.

Aren't you practicing Allie's method of confrontation, to get the issues on the table?
Sky, it seems you do both, when the circumstances call for either one.
Where people are abused and need the healing gentle approach, you use that one.
Where people are abusive or in denial and need the open confrontation approach,
you seem to use this yourself!

So where is the conflict, Sky?
You seem very honest and adept at using both where appropriate.
This is a good thing to be able to flip format and address
each person in the proper context using language they understand!

Very good, Sky
I don't think it is bad or conflicting at all that
you practice both methods as you deem work best.
The fact that you can do both, that means you are skilled in
reaching twice as many people instead of only one type or the other.

Thank you, Sky!

And thanks Allie for sharing your approach and background.
I could certainly use more of that in my outreach. I get too much like Sky
and then people in denial abuse my kindness. So it helps to have balance
and use the method that works when needed. Thanks for this also!