Why I Got Divorced!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by WillowTree, Sep 16, 2010.

  1. WillowTree
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    WillowTree Diamond Member

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    Why I'm divorced.........

    Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up
    on that morning..

    I went downstairs for breakfast
    hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
    'Happy Birthday!',
    and possibly have a small present for me.

    As it turned out,
    she barely said good morning,
    let alone
    ' Happy Birthday.'

    I thought....

    Well, that's marriage for you,
    but the kids....
    They will remember.

    My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
    and didn't say a word..
    So when I left for the office,
    I felt pretty low
    and somewhat despondent.

    As I walked into my office,
    my secretary Jane said,
    'Good Morning Boss,
    and by the way
    Happy Birthday ! '
    It felt a little better
    that at least someone had remembered.

    I worked until one o'clock ,
    when Jane knocked on my door
    and said, 'You know,
    It's such a beautiful day outside,
    and it is your Birthday,
    what do you say we go out to lunch,
    just you and me..'
    I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
    that's the greatest thing
    I've heard all day.
    Let's go !'

    We went to lunch.
    But we didn't go
    where we normally would go.
    She chose instead at a quiet bistro
    with a private table.
    We had two martinis each
    and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

    On the way back to the office,
    Jane said, 'You know,
    It's such a beautiful day...
    We don't need to go straight back to the office,
    Do We ?'

    I responded,
    'I guess not.
    What do you have in mind ?'
    She said,
    'Let's drop by my apartment,
    it's just around the corner..'

    After arriving at her apartment,
    Jane turned to me and said,
    'Boss, if you don't mind,
    I'm going to step into the bedroom
    for just a moment.
    I'll be right back.'
    'Ok.' I nervously replied.

    She went into the bedroom and,
    after a couple of minutes,
    she came out
    carrying a huge birthday cake .....
    Followed
    by my wife,
    my kids,
    and dozens of my friends
    and co-workers,
    all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


    And I just sat there....

    On the couch....

    Naked.



    :lol:
     
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  2. goldcatt
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    goldcatt Catch me if you can! Supporting Member

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    Whoops! :lol:
     
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  3. xotoxi
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    xotoxi Platinum Member

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    That's NOT funny!













    That's HILARIOUS! :lol:
     
  4. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Oh sure--conspire against the poor guy. How typical.
     
  5. Si modo
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    Si modo Diamond Member

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    :lol:
     
  6. Sarah G
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    Sarah G When Nothing Goes Right, Go Left Supporting Member

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    :lol: Men.
     
  7. Care4all
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    Care4all Warrior Princess Supporting Member

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    I've had nightmares with similar endings! I have no idea WHY I have dreamed such things, but they always end badly!!!! :eek:
     
  8. WillowTree
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    WillowTree Diamond Member

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    shame on you, you naughty girl. did you have fun?
     
  9. Care4all
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    Care4all Warrior Princess Supporting Member

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    NO! I always get caught, in some sort of predicament! Like I said, the dreams are NIGHTMARES!
     
  10. The Infidel
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    The Infidel EVIL CONSERVATIVE

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    I am so disappointed Willow..... you said you would keep that between the two of us! :confused:
     

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