Why do I feel weird about this?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by fuzzykitten99, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. fuzzykitten99
    Offline

    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2004
    Messages:
    2,965
    Thanks Received:
    199
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    You'll have to check the Marauder's Map...
    Ratings:
    +199
    Please help me put another perspective into this, unless I am looking at it how I should be...

    ok, here goes...

    background: Tim and I are still friends with Tony & Renee, a guy and his wife that he worked with before changing companies back in Nov. They have a little girl about 2 months younger than Nathan, so they often get to play together, which is great. Plus Tony & Renee are lots of fun to hang with.

    My mom is needing to sell her house, and likely has to move to an apartment, in which she needs to find a new home for her beautiful Siberian Husky, Buster. Tim and I would gladly take him, but because of the new baby, and the fact that Buster is a high-maintenence dog, it just isn't good timing. Plus I have always wanted a dog, and Buster is already trained for a home with little kids.

    We mentioned this issue to Tony while Tim was telling him about an opening at the company where he works. Tony is interested in Buster, and we have made plans tonite to go visit Buster and Tony wants to take him for the weekend to see how he fits in with their other dog before deciding. My mom agrees with the idea, and is willing to do this.

    Since I know more about Buster than Tim, Tony talked to me directly last night, and in that conversation we talked about our jobs, and how my last job was similar to where he is now, as far as atmosphere and backstabbing that goes on, and how he wants to leave, etc.

    He then proceeds to ask me if I can keep a secret, even from Tim, etc. I thought he was just being casual or general about it, not meaning one thing in particular. So I said it depended on what the secret was and the terms that the person told me, and whether or not the secret is something that really should not be a secret because of its effects/affects on someone or many people.

    He told me that he just wants someone to confide in and that I seemed like a person who he feels comfortable enough to do so. When he said this, I was more flattered, but felt kind of awkward because even though I know him pretty well, I don't feel I know him THAT well. But ok, if he needs someone to confide in about something, I am willing to be there, but I also think that person should also be his wife. Then again, it may not be something he can truly talk to her about. But what could it be that he feels he could not go to his own wife about? Or even Tim, since he knows Tony better than I do?

    He will be meeting us at our house tonight after work so I can take him over to my mom's a few blocks away. Tim may or may not go with, but I figured it would be a hassle to bring Nathan along in Tony's truck, because he may take Buster tonight instead of tomorrow, so Tim may stay home. Tony told me to remind him of last nights conversation so that he can tell me whatever it is.

    I know I can keep a secret, and let him confide in me if needed, and I would never betray his trust, but I feel really odd about this, maybe because I don't know what he will say or do.

    My biggest fear is that it would be something that would create that wierdness that is hard to overcome in a friendship.
     
  2. Trigg
    Offline

    Trigg Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2004
    Messages:
    774
    Thanks Received:
    69
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    midwest
    Ratings:
    +69
    Fuzzykitten said: "I know I can keep a secret, and let him confide in me if needed, and I would never betray his trust, but I feel really odd about this, maybe because I don't know what he will say or do.

    My biggest fear is that it would be something that would create that wierdness that is hard to overcome in a friendship"


    If I were you I would probably tell him not to tell me the secret. I wouldn't feel comfortable keeping a secret from my husband. If he's just looking for someone to confide in why does it have to be kept secret from Tim??????
     
  3. dmp
    Offline

    dmp Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    13,088
    Thanks Received:
    741
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Enterprise, Alabama
    Ratings:
    +741
    When Men start confiding in women - especially married women - it can cause problems. Men need MEN to confide in, generally - except me, because most men don't understand me. Cept misterblu and GotZoom - because they're dainty and smell good.

    :)

    Seriously though - Listen to him; if it's something sexual or personal to the point of making you feel uncomfortable, or ILLEGAL, tell him you're glad to be his friend, but he really should talk to somebody else.

    Police? His wife? a Minister?

    Maybe he's going to say something like "I REALLY wish I had a job as a female celebrity impersonator"...something he wouldn't tell a guy-friend.
     
  4. The ClayTaurus
    Offline

    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Messages:
    7,062
    Thanks Received:
    332
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +333
    :wtf:
     
  5. dmp
    Offline

    dmp Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    13,088
    Thanks Received:
    741
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Enterprise, Alabama
    Ratings:
    +741

    what don't you understand?
     
  6. Annie
    Offline

    Annie Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2003
    Messages:
    50,847
    Thanks Received:
    4,644
    Trophy Points:
    1,790
    Ratings:
    +4,770

    Seems to me that anyone that is asking you to keep a secret from your husband and their wife, is probably not looking out for you. IMHO.
     
  7. Mr. P
    Offline

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    11,329
    Thanks Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South of the Mason Dixon
    Ratings:
    +620
    Geeezzzzzz you have some weird shit happening to you.....
    My take...he's gonna hit on you.
     
  8. The ClayTaurus
    Offline

    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Messages:
    7,062
    Thanks Received:
    332
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +333
    It can cause problems, but listen to him? Seems contradictory as I would think you'd want to avoid problems...
     
  9. manu1959
    Offline

    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2004
    Messages:
    13,761
    Thanks Received:
    1,625
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    california
    Ratings:
    +1,626
    i second that
     
  10. Nienna
    Offline

    Nienna Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
    Messages:
    4,515
    Thanks Received:
    333
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Ohio
    Ratings:
    +333
    She's pregnant! No offense to Fuzzy, because I'm sure she's still very attractive, but what kind of a guy would hit on a pregnant woman, especially if her husband is his friend?

    Tell him you don't feel comfortable keeping secrets from your husband, but if he doesn't mind Tim's knowing, then, okay. So if he is going to hit on you, that should make him back off, but it still leaves it a little open in case he really just wants a woman's POV on something (even though he SHOULD really be talking to his wife). Anyway, that should make you feel more comfortable, since you wouldn't be bound to keeping something from YOUR husband.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

Share This Page