Unhappy marriages

[Questioner]

It's no secret that many marriages are unhappy, I'm not a cynic, but this has been widely documented, as far back as "Married Love" in the early 1900s, which was one of the more popular guides for making marriages work. The notion of "love at first sight" is likely more of a popular Romanticism sentiment from the likes of Rousseau and others who have influenced popular culture - I'm not against the idea of love, but I believe it requires sacrifice, and isn't the product of mere "predestination" in and of itself. (From a religious perspective, this seems contrary to how marriages and love are depicted in the Bible, for example).

What are people's thoughts on this, or the primary causes of unhappy marriages?

As far as divorce goes, I'm aware that vows such as "till death due us part" were primarily a Catholic thing, and that most marriages likely do not include this type of vow; on divorce, what is your opinion, and under what circumstances would you believe a divorce to be the best or only option?

Thanks for your time.

 

[Ringel05]

It's no secret that many marriages are unhappy, I'm not a cynic, but this has been widely documented, as far back as "Married Love" in the early 1900s, which was one of the more popular guides for making marriages work. The notion of "love at first sight" is likely more of a popular Romanticism sentiment from the likes of Rousseau and others who have influenced popular culture - I'm not against the idea of love, but I believe it requires sacrifice, and isn't the product of mere "predestination" in and of itself. (From a religious perspective, this seems contrary to how marriages and love are depicted in the Bible, for example).

What are people's thoughts on this, or the primary causes of unhappy marriages?

As far as divorce goes, I'm aware that vows such as "till death due us part" were primarily a Catholic thing, and that most marriages likely do not include this type of vow; on divorce, what is your opinion, and under what circumstances would you believe a divorce to be the best or only option?

Thanks for your time.

Typically the heady, euphoric "in love" period lasts about a year before wearing off and that's where people discover/recognize each others faults and love suddenly becomes "work". Well it is, other than the very lucky few love from that point onward is often a decision, a decision accept each other's foibles and short comings, not everyone is willing or emotionally capable of doing that.
There are multiple tomes written on the subject so going into detail would require a series of posts that look like a 10,000 word dissertation.
One simple way you can look at it that has deep meaning attached is my wife and I love each other dearly but there are times we don't like each other.

 

[fncceo]

I'm not against the idea of love, but I believe it requires sacrifice

Goat or chicken?

 

[strollingbones]

o dear i am a victim of love at first sight....39 years this upcoming march...i sum up 39 years of marriage like this...some days i understand why the women on the titantic decided to die with their husbands....other days i understand the show 'deadly women'

 

[JOSweetHeart]

As far as divorce goes, I'm aware that vows such as "till death due us part" were primarily a Catholic thing, and that most marriages likely do not include this type of vow; on divorce, what is your opinion, and under what circumstances would you believe a divorce to be the best or only option?

My parents divorced after 23 years of marriage. My dad's job is what kept my family well taken care of financially which is why my mom stayed with him so long, but because of my dad being guilty of so many things that he continued doing even after the divorce happened, to me, she didn't divorce him soon enough.

God bless you and my mom always!!!

Holly

 

[RodISHI]

I wouldn't trade Rod for the world. Thirty plus years and yes it was love when we met and remained through tough times and good ones.

 

[Hossfly]

o dear i am a victim of love at first sight....39 years this upcoming march...i sum up 39 years of marriage like this...some days i understand why the women on the titantic decided to die with their husbands....other days i understand the show 'deadly women'

We will be married 59 years in March. Through thick and thin. We've had a wonderful marriage and I've mostly been good but sometimes she tells me, "You had better not go to sleep tonight."