- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Does capitalism engender fun folklore?
This lighthearted comics-oriented fable referencing the DC Comics characters Anarky and Hawkgirl was inspired by Tower Heist.
Cheers,
====
After capitalism-baron Donald Trump, host of the commerce-program Celebrity Apprentice, erected his lavish/impressive Trump Tower in United Nations Plaza in New York, many anti-American terrorists eyed the building with a good deal of wrath. Trump Tower did, after all, represent a great deal of capitalism-pride in American society. In particular, there was a vile anti-Western nemesis who targeted Trump Tower and was determined to smear the eccentric Donald Trump.
This anti-Western maniac, Anarky, was an Ivy League educated Algerian-American whose real identity was unknown. His passport-named during college was Ajay Satan, but no one knew his real name when Ajay simply disappeared. Anarky was a real menace and he wanted to create a real turbulence at Trump Tower on New Year's Day 2002. Anarky was upset with various aspects of capitalism/consumerism culture including Super Bowl ads, Vanity Fair, Starbucks, and even Planet Hollywood. Anarky had a foul scheme cooked for New Year's Day. Who would stand against the bizarre Anarky and save Trump Tower?
As expected, the valiant American superheroine and democracy-defender known as 'Hawkgirl' answered the call. Anarky had sent a notice to the NY Post declaring his intentions to take Trump Tower on New Year's Day with an undefeatable scheme, and when Hawgirl read this bizarre published 'blurb,' she decided to soar to Trump Tower and secure it from the threat of any brand of terrorism Anarky would devise. Hawkgirl was the answer to Donald Trump's prayers.
As Anarky seized control of Trump Tower on New Year's Day with a multi-level invasion involving employees blackmailed to assist him for the terrorist-scheme, Anarky computer-locked all the doors and gates so the FBI could not enter with SWAT forces and then planted explosives on each floor, ready to go off with a centralized detonator which Anarky kept on his person. A valiant Trump Tower employee named Dwayne did the best he could to help the hostages escape, and as night fell, Dwayne was seen trying to climb down each level of Trump Tower with a very sturdy rope as CNN journalists watched in amazement. However, it was Hawkgirl who would have to debate with Anarky, not the daring Dwayne.
HAWKGIRL: You're a madman...why are you doing this?
ANARKY: I'm a prophet of anti-Western fury!
HAWKGIRL: Trump Tower is a beacon of peace.
ANARKY: No; it's the Tower of Babel!
HAWKGIRL: I disagree; capitalism promotes pedestrian imagination.
ANARKY: Really? I thought Burger King created a cholesterol-society.
HAWKGIRL: No; we have social measures to create temperance.
ANARKY: Well...it seems to me capitalism is a system for pirates.
HAWKGIRL: Piracy is a flaw, but any system has flaws that can be addressed.
ANARKY: You can't 'cure' the vices of capitalism, Hawkgirl.
HAWKGIRL: What vices are you referring to, Anarky?
ANARKY: Can't you guess? Gluttony, avarice, pride, greed, etc.
HAWKGIRL: You can't solve the problem of human sin with terrorism!
ANARKY: Did you realize that terrorism is romanticized?
HAWKGIRL: Only because everyday consumers become frustrated with bureaucracy.
ANARKY: In America, we see bank-robbers deified in cinema (e.g., Bonnie and Clyde).
HAWKGIRL: That's not the same as terrorism; terrorism creates panic!
ANARKY: Sometimes you have to awaken the human spirit with turbulence...
HAWKGIRL: No way; turbulence is another word for malady, not 'exercise.'
ANARKY: Are you trying to convince me to 'embrace' American capitalism?
HAWKGIRL: What if I proved that 'TrumpUSA' was worth the imagination?
ANARKY: How would you pull that off?
HAWKGIRL: Imagine you became a 'Halloween merchandising mascot' named Magneto.
ANARKY: 'Magneto'? What would I sell/advertise? NFL mascot fridge-magnets?
HAWKGIRL: Precisely; you'd sell Titans, Buccaneers, and Raiders magnets.
ANARKY: So as 'Magneto,' I could 'hype' the use-value of NFL mascot fridge-magnets?
HAWKGIRL: Yes; teams with a peculiarly 'avatar' oriented team-mascot pedestal!
ANARKY: So you want me to inspire consumerism with 'gameplay-aesthetics.'
HAWKGIRL: Exactly; can you deny that kids love civilization-symbolic video-games?
ANARKY: I confess kids like video-games such as Sonic the Hedgehog.
HAWKGIRL: Become Magneto and hype Sonic the Hedgehog...and become an 'angel.'
ANARKY: I'll give it a try...for you...but don't try to swindle me.
After Hawgirl convinced Anarky to don the identity of the NFL fridge magnet-merchandising salesman known as 'Magneto,' Hawkgirl also told Anarky that she'd become a Vanity Fair and Victoria's Secret magazine model to help hype consumerism as well. Magneto became quite a popular 'mascot' for redemption consciousness, and TIME magazine declared, "Hawkgirl has turned Anarky into Jean Valjean, and perhaps America is a place for real idealists." Magneto became an overnight inspiration, and his costume was very handsome...
As Hawgirl donned a lovely mask and costume to pose for Vanity Fair and Victoria's Secret magazine-covers, Anarky/Magneto complemented and enhanced her consumerism-campaign by continuing to hype NFL fridge-magnets for teams like the Raiders and Buccaneers. Hawkgirl became a very popular fashion-couture model, and Magneto (Anarky) became something like Jean Valjean. Magneto declared Hawkgirl as his personal 'muse' and embraced the value of consumerism-culture...it was a complete turnaround. Hawkgirl tweeted, "Anarky has shown us that capitalism can be inspiring, and it's inspired me personally to explore 'fashion-aesthetics' for the first time in my life."
As all this developed, Donald Trump was elected U.S. President and tweeted after being elected, "I'm so excited to serve as a 'commerce-diplomat' and my experience owning/operating a fun casino in Atlantic City (Trump Taj Mahal) has given me extra inspiration, which leads me to praise Americans' love of capitalism-symbolic game such as the real-estate board-game Monopoly (Parker Brothers), which, incidentally, is now a popular Apple iPhone video-game app that kids enjoy." Hawkgirl was proud of Magneto/Anarky, and she confirmed the newfound pedestrian spirited notion that Monopoly (Parker Brothers) was a signpost for peace...not cynicism.
TRUMP: Hawkgirl has saved the day.
CARTER: She's the 'angel' of capitalism, Mr. President!
TRUMP: She's very attractive too...and a terrific Victoria's Secret/Vanity Fair model.
CARTER: Consumerism creates everyday imagination.
TRUMP: Americans boast superior toy-companies --- Fisher-Price, Mattel, Hasbro.
CARTER: Yes, the American toy-store chain Toys 'R Us is very popular too!
TRUMP: I wonder what Anarky's message really was...
CARTER: Who cares? As 'Magneto,' Anarky has given us a 'dose' of repentance.
TRUMP: Yes, Hawkgirl has convinced Anarky to be a real diplomat.
CARTER: No one is above sin, but Anarky/Magneto is really Jean Valjean.
TRUMP: I wonder what the historians will write.
CARTER: I think they'll say, "Capitalism created 'branches' of inventiveness."
TRUMP: I suppose Anarky would have destroyed Trump Tower...
CARTER: Who would doubt it?
TRUMP: Terrorism is the malady of new age commerce.
CARTER: After 9/11, everyone prays for true patriots.
TRUMP: Let's go watch Casino (Martin Scorsese) on Netflix, Carter!
CARTER: America is once again...safe.
====
This lighthearted comics-oriented fable referencing the DC Comics characters Anarky and Hawkgirl was inspired by Tower Heist.
Cheers,
====
After capitalism-baron Donald Trump, host of the commerce-program Celebrity Apprentice, erected his lavish/impressive Trump Tower in United Nations Plaza in New York, many anti-American terrorists eyed the building with a good deal of wrath. Trump Tower did, after all, represent a great deal of capitalism-pride in American society. In particular, there was a vile anti-Western nemesis who targeted Trump Tower and was determined to smear the eccentric Donald Trump.
This anti-Western maniac, Anarky, was an Ivy League educated Algerian-American whose real identity was unknown. His passport-named during college was Ajay Satan, but no one knew his real name when Ajay simply disappeared. Anarky was a real menace and he wanted to create a real turbulence at Trump Tower on New Year's Day 2002. Anarky was upset with various aspects of capitalism/consumerism culture including Super Bowl ads, Vanity Fair, Starbucks, and even Planet Hollywood. Anarky had a foul scheme cooked for New Year's Day. Who would stand against the bizarre Anarky and save Trump Tower?
As expected, the valiant American superheroine and democracy-defender known as 'Hawkgirl' answered the call. Anarky had sent a notice to the NY Post declaring his intentions to take Trump Tower on New Year's Day with an undefeatable scheme, and when Hawgirl read this bizarre published 'blurb,' she decided to soar to Trump Tower and secure it from the threat of any brand of terrorism Anarky would devise. Hawkgirl was the answer to Donald Trump's prayers.
As Anarky seized control of Trump Tower on New Year's Day with a multi-level invasion involving employees blackmailed to assist him for the terrorist-scheme, Anarky computer-locked all the doors and gates so the FBI could not enter with SWAT forces and then planted explosives on each floor, ready to go off with a centralized detonator which Anarky kept on his person. A valiant Trump Tower employee named Dwayne did the best he could to help the hostages escape, and as night fell, Dwayne was seen trying to climb down each level of Trump Tower with a very sturdy rope as CNN journalists watched in amazement. However, it was Hawkgirl who would have to debate with Anarky, not the daring Dwayne.
HAWKGIRL: You're a madman...why are you doing this?
ANARKY: I'm a prophet of anti-Western fury!
HAWKGIRL: Trump Tower is a beacon of peace.
ANARKY: No; it's the Tower of Babel!
HAWKGIRL: I disagree; capitalism promotes pedestrian imagination.
ANARKY: Really? I thought Burger King created a cholesterol-society.
HAWKGIRL: No; we have social measures to create temperance.
ANARKY: Well...it seems to me capitalism is a system for pirates.
HAWKGIRL: Piracy is a flaw, but any system has flaws that can be addressed.
ANARKY: You can't 'cure' the vices of capitalism, Hawkgirl.
HAWKGIRL: What vices are you referring to, Anarky?
ANARKY: Can't you guess? Gluttony, avarice, pride, greed, etc.
HAWKGIRL: You can't solve the problem of human sin with terrorism!
ANARKY: Did you realize that terrorism is romanticized?
HAWKGIRL: Only because everyday consumers become frustrated with bureaucracy.
ANARKY: In America, we see bank-robbers deified in cinema (e.g., Bonnie and Clyde).
HAWKGIRL: That's not the same as terrorism; terrorism creates panic!
ANARKY: Sometimes you have to awaken the human spirit with turbulence...
HAWKGIRL: No way; turbulence is another word for malady, not 'exercise.'
ANARKY: Are you trying to convince me to 'embrace' American capitalism?
HAWKGIRL: What if I proved that 'TrumpUSA' was worth the imagination?
ANARKY: How would you pull that off?
HAWKGIRL: Imagine you became a 'Halloween merchandising mascot' named Magneto.
ANARKY: 'Magneto'? What would I sell/advertise? NFL mascot fridge-magnets?
HAWKGIRL: Precisely; you'd sell Titans, Buccaneers, and Raiders magnets.
ANARKY: So as 'Magneto,' I could 'hype' the use-value of NFL mascot fridge-magnets?
HAWKGIRL: Yes; teams with a peculiarly 'avatar' oriented team-mascot pedestal!
ANARKY: So you want me to inspire consumerism with 'gameplay-aesthetics.'
HAWKGIRL: Exactly; can you deny that kids love civilization-symbolic video-games?
ANARKY: I confess kids like video-games such as Sonic the Hedgehog.
HAWKGIRL: Become Magneto and hype Sonic the Hedgehog...and become an 'angel.'
ANARKY: I'll give it a try...for you...but don't try to swindle me.
After Hawgirl convinced Anarky to don the identity of the NFL fridge magnet-merchandising salesman known as 'Magneto,' Hawkgirl also told Anarky that she'd become a Vanity Fair and Victoria's Secret magazine model to help hype consumerism as well. Magneto became quite a popular 'mascot' for redemption consciousness, and TIME magazine declared, "Hawkgirl has turned Anarky into Jean Valjean, and perhaps America is a place for real idealists." Magneto became an overnight inspiration, and his costume was very handsome...
As Hawgirl donned a lovely mask and costume to pose for Vanity Fair and Victoria's Secret magazine-covers, Anarky/Magneto complemented and enhanced her consumerism-campaign by continuing to hype NFL fridge-magnets for teams like the Raiders and Buccaneers. Hawkgirl became a very popular fashion-couture model, and Magneto (Anarky) became something like Jean Valjean. Magneto declared Hawkgirl as his personal 'muse' and embraced the value of consumerism-culture...it was a complete turnaround. Hawkgirl tweeted, "Anarky has shown us that capitalism can be inspiring, and it's inspired me personally to explore 'fashion-aesthetics' for the first time in my life."
As all this developed, Donald Trump was elected U.S. President and tweeted after being elected, "I'm so excited to serve as a 'commerce-diplomat' and my experience owning/operating a fun casino in Atlantic City (Trump Taj Mahal) has given me extra inspiration, which leads me to praise Americans' love of capitalism-symbolic game such as the real-estate board-game Monopoly (Parker Brothers), which, incidentally, is now a popular Apple iPhone video-game app that kids enjoy." Hawkgirl was proud of Magneto/Anarky, and she confirmed the newfound pedestrian spirited notion that Monopoly (Parker Brothers) was a signpost for peace...not cynicism.
TRUMP: Hawkgirl has saved the day.
CARTER: She's the 'angel' of capitalism, Mr. President!
TRUMP: She's very attractive too...and a terrific Victoria's Secret/Vanity Fair model.
CARTER: Consumerism creates everyday imagination.
TRUMP: Americans boast superior toy-companies --- Fisher-Price, Mattel, Hasbro.
CARTER: Yes, the American toy-store chain Toys 'R Us is very popular too!
TRUMP: I wonder what Anarky's message really was...
CARTER: Who cares? As 'Magneto,' Anarky has given us a 'dose' of repentance.
TRUMP: Yes, Hawkgirl has convinced Anarky to be a real diplomat.
CARTER: No one is above sin, but Anarky/Magneto is really Jean Valjean.
TRUMP: I wonder what the historians will write.
CARTER: I think they'll say, "Capitalism created 'branches' of inventiveness."
TRUMP: I suppose Anarky would have destroyed Trump Tower...
CARTER: Who would doubt it?
TRUMP: Terrorism is the malady of new age commerce.
CARTER: After 9/11, everyone prays for true patriots.
TRUMP: Let's go watch Casino (Martin Scorsese) on Netflix, Carter!
CARTER: America is once again...safe.
====
