The Unbearable Child

[Madeline]

Dr. Phil had this chick on today who has an adopted seven year old son from a Russian orphanage. It sounded as if they boy was about three when she adopted him, and Dr. Phil was merrily discussing all the chick's failures as a parent because her discipline, though extreme, has not produced any positive results.

You may recall this story, from earlier this year....

To many, the act seemed inhumane and indefensible. A Tennessee woman having trouble with her adopted son placed the 7-year-old on an airplane last week for an 11-hour flight alone back to Russia, his native country.

The incident was quickly condemned by scores on the Web, and authorities in Russia threatened to halt adoptions to U.S. parents.

But parents of adopted children who exhibit severely challenging behavior are also using the sad tale to speak out, opening a window into their chaotic lives. Rather than condemn the Tennessee woman, they are blasting adoption agencies that are not always reliable reporters about a child's troubled past, leaving families adrift to manage extreme problems without training or options.

Incident with Russia opens window on issue: Overseas adoptions not always a blessing | cleveland.com

Why are we so fearful of speaking the truth about damaged kids? I dun know if these children have "oppositional personality disorder" or are a "bad seed"....some kids do not develop the emotional equipment necessary to function in a private home. Once they get to be school age and are too big to physically control, they very often require institutionalization for their safety and the safety of their families and neighborhoods.

There were some telling facts about today's guest on Dr. Phil that I see over and over....

* Although the chick is married, her husband refused to attend and spoke, in his statement, only about how disappointed he is that his wife has failed to socialize the child. As if he has no part to play.

* She has five other children at home, all of whom are afraid of this boy.

* She's taken the child to every doctor and therapist she could find. All promised to help and none did.

* The school and the neighbors are leaning on this chick to "control the child", the one thing she very clearly cannot do. No one in her shoes could.

* Even her own mother blamed the child's misconduct -- which is extreme -- on this chick.

Apparently, blaming women is easier than facing facts: some kids are FUBAR, it is not always the chick's fault and there needs to be safe institutional care for these little people for all our sakes.

Your thoughts?

 

[uscitizen]

Any human that goes on Dr. Phil is a failure in any case.

 

[Granny]

I think the reasons, particularly with children from Russia, is that they are put in orphanages at birth, they have no real contacts that are nurturing, loving, nothing. Have you not ever seen documentaries about Russian orphanages? Crib after crib after crib that the children never leave, no real medical attention, malnutrition, mistreatment, ignored, no social interaction with anybody - it's no wonder they're so anti-social and almost impossible to deal with. They are emotionally dead.

It's not enough to just adopt one of these children and think you're doing a good deed. It takes a very, very special person to deal with these children. It's not just about putting a roof over their head and feeding them. It takes a lot of time, attention, patience and nurturing and even then some of these children are still not going to be able to be healed. It's not a walk in the park to raise these children. They are like the walking dead.

 

[Big Black Dog]

A little know fact about children, especially young ones is this: If they are under two years old and you don't like them, for whatever reason, you can return them to the store.

 

[zzzz]

Chick????? Come on Maddie your better than that!

 

[The Infidel]

These people that adopt these kids have pie in the sky dreams, when in all reality.... they got there too late in the kids life to REALLY have an impact on their character.

Only God can help those kids.

Sad story indeed...

 

[Ernie S.]

A little know fact about children, especially young ones is this: If they are under two years old and you don't like them, for whatever reason, you can return them to the store.

Apparently not in Connecticut.
38 years ago I brought my first son home from the hospital. He was just 20 hours old. On the way into the house, I checked his diaper and sure enough, it was wet. The wife was still pretty beat up so I figured I could handle it this one time. I laid him down on the bed and unpinned the diaper and pulled it down. The little bugger peed right in my eye! Danbury hospital refused to take him back.

 

[HUGGY]

Chick????? Come on Maddie your better than that!

No she is not!!! She is being HORRID!!! Just HORRID!!!!!

 

[Big Black Dog]

A little know fact about children, especially young ones is this: If they are under two years old and you don't like them, for whatever reason, you can return them to the store.

Apparently not in Connecticut.
38 years ago I brought my first son home from the hospital. He was just 20 hours old. On the way into the house, I checked his diaper and sure enough, it was wet. The wife was still pretty beat up so I figured I could handle it this one time. I laid him down on the bed and unpinned the diaper and pulled it down. The little bugger peed right in my eye! Danbury hospital refused to take him back.

You must have lost the receipt. You have to have the original receipt...

 

[Revere]

Kids raised by the state, with no interference from parents to give them a bad diet, racial or religious prejudice.

Woo hoo!

Live it, learn it, love it!

 

[Madeline]

T'aint just children adopted from overseas, and of course it is not always such kids. But we do know good and well how to build a sociopath/psychopath....and offering the child no consistent caretaker and no affection during the first few years of life is an excellent recipe for disaster.

We have millions of children in the US warehoused in foster care who will do no better. In addition to building the facilities the damaged ones need, we should also be looking at making babies available to adopt almost instantly at birth if the facts are bad enough. Letting the wee one circle the drain in foster care while mom play acts at getting her shit together is worse than useless.

 

[syrenn]

Where have you been M? I agree with granny. Haven't you seen the baby mills that russia calls orphanages? Its worse then what we do here in the US with pets in shelters.

What are my thoughts?

Five kids? What was this woman thinking? Couldn't she adopt one from this country? Shes needs to figure it out, shes stuck with the kid.

Babies are nothing more then little animals. If you put them in a cage and don't love, stroke and hold, care and love them they grow up fucked in the head.

 

[Ernie S.]

A little know fact about children, especially young ones is this: If they are under two years old and you don't like them, for whatever reason, you can return them to the store.

Apparently not in Connecticut.
38 years ago I brought my first son home from the hospital. He was just 20 hours old. On the way into the house, I checked his diaper and sure enough, it was wet. The wife was still pretty beat up so I figured I could handle it this one time. I laid him down on the bed and unpinned the diaper and pulled it down. The little bugger peed right in my eye! Danbury hospital refused to take him back.

You must have lost the receipt. You have to have the original receipt...

I had it, but once I conceded that he was mine and I had to keep him, the bitch at the cashier's window wouldn't even discuss a partial refund. The little prick cost me $495.00 and was obviously defective. the wife kept mumbling something about liking her new toy, (or boy, maybe) but she hadn't been peed on.

 

[Madeline]

Where have you been M? I agree with granny. Haven't you seen the baby mills that russia calls orphanages? Its worse then what we do here in the US with pets in shelters.

What are my thoughts?

Five kids? What was this woman thinking? Couldn't she adopt one from this country? Shes needs to figure it out, shes stuck with the kid.

Babies are nothing more then little animals. If you put them in a cage and don't love, stroke and hold, care and love them they grow up fucked in the head.

I'm not sure what your point is, syrenn. Clearly had she known what lay ahead, she (and her husband) would not have adopted this child and I am not advocating that she (or her husband) be allowed to evade financial responsibility for him. I'm saying (based on what Dr. Phil chose to broadcast) that this is a hopeless case, blaming and shaming this woman will not alter that and we need to loose our Disney glasses and see the dreadful realities some children present.

 

[Revere]

Oh, Christ, how could she not know what she was getting?

What kind of a bumpkin are you?

 

[syrenn]

Where have you been M? I agree with granny. Haven't you seen the baby mills that russia calls orphanages? Its worse then what we do here in the US with pets in shelters.

What are my thoughts?

Five kids? What was this woman thinking? Couldn't she adopt one from this country? Shes needs to figure it out, shes stuck with the kid.

Babies are nothing more then little animals. If you put them in a cage and don't love, stroke and hold, care and love them they grow up fucked in the head.

I'm not sure what your point is, syrenn. Clearly had she known what lay ahead, she (and her husband) would not have adopted this child and I am not advocating that she (or her husband) be allowed to evade financial responsibility for him. I'm saying (based on what Dr. Phil chose to broadcast) that this is a hopeless case, blaming and shaming this woman will not alter that and we need to loose our Disney glasses and see the dreadful realities some children present.

Do you really think russia is going to tell adoptive parents they are taking a defective kid? They want to off load the thing as fast as they can.

I come from the medical end. I have no disney glasses. Personally i feel there are many people who need to be put down for many different reasons. Children like this are a mental and financial drain on society. If parents cannot foot the ENTIRE bill, financial mental and psychical, for their defective childs ENTIRE life, then it should be put down at birth.

 

[Madeline]

Where have you been M? I agree with granny. Haven't you seen the baby mills that russia calls orphanages? Its worse then what we do here in the US with pets in shelters.

What are my thoughts?

Five kids? What was this woman thinking? Couldn't she adopt one from this country? Shes needs to figure it out, shes stuck with the kid.

Babies are nothing more then little animals. If you put them in a cage and don't love, stroke and hold, care and love them they grow up fucked in the head.

I'm not sure what your point is, syrenn. Clearly had she known what lay ahead, she (and her husband) would not have adopted this child and I am not advocating that she (or her husband) be allowed to evade financial responsibility for him. I'm saying (based on what Dr. Phil chose to broadcast) that this is a hopeless case, blaming and shaming this woman will not alter that and we need to loose our Disney glasses and see the dreadful realities some children present.

Do you really think russia is going to tell adoptive parents they are taking a defective kid? They want to off load the thing as fast as they can.

I come from the medical end. I have no disney glasses. Personally i feel there are many people who need to be put down for many different reasons. Children like this are a mental and financial drain on society. If parents cannot foot the ENTIRE bill, financial mental and psychical, for their defective child ENTIRE life, then it should be put down at birth.

The kid is seven, and he is here. I dun think he's a candidate for euthanasia, do you?

 

[HUGGY]

Some people ...mostly women... have this "nurturing thing" imbedded in thier psycological make up. Sometimes it is a force that can overwhelm a families purpose. It sounds to me that the husband is an idiot. Five kids? He should have known by now that the woman is not really grounded in reality. He should have done some independant research into the possible hazzards they could be facing and with the responsibilities they already were commited to put his foot down with the happiness of his existing family as the reason. Taking on a potential basket case requires extraordinary patience and devotion to attempt to bring the broken/damaged spirit of a child denied a nurturing infancy to trust and love. With five other kids plus thier own needs as a married couple they had grossly overestimated thier capabilities.

 

[Revere]

Why does this hick want the most obvious fucking things spelled out for her, or she wants to sue?

 

[syrenn]

I'm not sure what your point is, syrenn. Clearly had she known what lay ahead, she (and her husband) would not have adopted this child and I am not advocating that she (or her husband) be allowed to evade financial responsibility for him. I'm saying (based on what Dr. Phil chose to broadcast) that this is a hopeless case, blaming and shaming this woman will not alter that and we need to loose our Disney glasses and see the dreadful realities some children present.

Do you really think russia is going to tell adoptive parents they are taking a defective kid? They want to off load the thing as fast as they can.

I come from the medical end. I have no disney glasses. Personally i feel there are many people who need to be put down for many different reasons. Children like this are a mental and financial drain on society. If parents cannot foot the ENTIRE bill, financial mental and psychical, for their defective child ENTIRE life, then it should be put down at birth.

The kid is seven, and he is here. I dun think he's a candidate for euthanasia, do you?

oh yeah?