The Campus Hook-Up Culture

[MtnBiker]

"Nice guys finish last" has never been truer in the college realm. Nice guys dont get dates. Nice guys dont get laid. Nice guys barely get the time of day unless a girl can use him for homework or something. You have to treat a girl like trash to get anywhere with them in these environments. So i cant see how its a guys fault.

I was never interested in girls who were attracted to guys like you described. I found there were a number of girls who in the long run liked niced guys. Treating a girl like trash just went against my values.

 

[Annie]

I was never interested in girls who were attracted to guys like you described. I found there were a number of girls who in the long run liked niced guys. Treating a girl like trash just went against my values.

 

[Avatar4321]

However at college age most women are politicized. Men of that age are taught, usually through negative experience, that any action which was once chivalrous is not acceptible behavior and can be construed incorrectly by many women of that age, especially those that have fallen for the regular mantra from NOW and other groups. It is safer nowadays to avoid those kind of actions until you are sure you are with a woman that will appreciate them rather than assume you are simply being condescending and immediately dismiss all polite gestures.

I dunno. I always held open doors for girls. still do. I cant think of any of them who have been unhappy about it. And if they had i doubt it would stop me. its the nice thing to do.

 

[Avatar4321]

Ok, compared to you I'm old, sounding like CL here. My daughter is not and was raised to expect men to respect her, not care for her, in a paternalistic sense. With that said, I raised both her and her two brothers to have manners, ie. please and thank you, excuse me, may I help?, hold the door for the person following you, help someone in need...catch the drift?

Now I have heard the put downs that some women have unleashed on men for simple manners. Seems to me real 'men' would say to themselves, "What a bitch!" and move on...

Its interesting to think about now. I think that attitude comes because those women dont respect themselves. They think lowly of themselves or like they arent worth respecting so when men do show them respect they think the man is somehow disrespecting her because they feel weak. i dunno im not totally clear on it just what im thinking right now. and these are the same women who think men are totally dumb because they are still single. this is all to confusing to think about when my brain is fried from class.

Needless to say. real men are going to treat women with respect regardless.

 

[Avatar4321]

I was never interested in girls who were attracted to guys like you described. I found there were a number of girls who in the long run liked niced guys. Treating a girl like trash just went against my values.

I have to agree. the girls who went for that were usually not worth it. Besides i hate seeing how those @$$es treat them. Its so hard to help a girl get herself back together after some guy has treated her like garbage.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

I've come to believe that feminism while actually an attack on our entire culture, is essentially aimed at removing the traditional influence of women from the human sphere, something which is vital. This is also the goal of the homo movement.

"the Hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world" -- this is true, and convincing women to value a career over raising children, removes them from this all important role.

Teaching women they should sexually behave as men, is actually convincing them to drop the high standards and demonstrations of commitment required from men which IN THE PAST have guaranteed that the most responsible and caring men reproduce.

 

[Avatar4321]

why on earth did you resurrect this long dead thread?

 

[rtwngAvngr]

why on earth did you resurrect this long dead thread?

This thread is the way, the truth, and the light, no one comes to knowledge but through this thread.

 

[Abbey Normal]

I fear for my daughter in such an environment. I can only hope that I can teach her that she has more value than this.

My thoughts too, No1. For now, while she is in high school, we can enforce small things like making the guy come into the house to get her before going out. But once she's in college, it's 100% up to her to demand respect.

I do think, though, that college is a fairly unique situation. I don't recall much "dating" when I was there either. It was too easy to just meet up at up party. And with the miniscule budget many of us have in college, dating is kind of impractical.

 

[1549]

I would comment...but I have to run out for a little while. I gotta catch this fresh poon I made eye contact with in Psych class. Yea, I'm thinkin' dome...maybe more, we'll see how it goes. :gang1:


Now the truth:

If you want a slutty girl in college: there are plenty. If you want a nice girl that is not going to lift here skirt after every 'hello'...you can find those too. The girls are not much different than they were in high school.

 

[Nienna]

I've come to believe that feminism while actually an attack on our entire culture, is essentially aimed at removing the traditional influence of women from the human sphere, something which is vital. This is also the goal of the homo movement.

"the Hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world" -- this is true, and convincing women to value a career over raising children, removes them from this all important role.

Teaching women they should sexually behave as men, is actually convincing them to drop the high standards and demonstrations of commitment required from men which IN THE PAST have guaranteed that the most responsible and caring men reproduce.

WOW! Great post, J! Can't rep you again, though.

 

[Nienna]

I think a lot of it has to do with the marriage of the girl's parents. If the father is actually PRESENT (not common these days), and treats her mother with courtesy, and gives positive attention to the girl, then she will likely value herself more and expect this behavior from boys she dates. But, many times, the father is absent, and the mother has to do it all herself, or worse, has a series of relationships. This gives the girl the example that she shouldn't have expectations from guys.

 

[1549]

I've come to believe that feminism while actually an attack on our entire culture, is essentially aimed at removing the traditional influence of women from the human sphere, something which is vital. This is also the goal of the homo movement.

"the Hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world" -- this is true, and convincing women to value a career over raising children, removes them from this all important role.

Teaching women they should sexually behave as men, is actually convincing them to drop the high standards and demonstrations of commitment required from men which IN THE PAST have guaranteed that the most responsible and caring men reproduce.

That is a very good post. I do not necessarily agree with your argument, but I enjoyed reading your opinions.

I am going to throw in my feelings:
--Women can have a career and raise children. 90% of my friends were raised in homes with two working parents. I enjoyed that my mom worked and I am very proud of what she was able to accomplish in the corporate world. I think women should look at the world the same way as men: they should educate themselves and prepare to work and then they can decide whether or not they want to work/raise kids or both.

--I question your second point, because I am not sure how you think men and women should act sexually. I believe that people should behave in a responsibe way (one partner at a time, use protection, relationships) and respect themselves. I believe there is no excuse for not acting this way--regardless of gender.

 

[Hobbit]

I am going to throw in my feelings:
--Women can have a career and raise children. 90% of my friends were raised in homes with two working parents. I enjoyed that my mom worked and I am very proud of what she was able to accomplish in the corporate world. I think women should look at the world the same way as men: they should educate themselves and prepare to work and then they can decide whether or not they want to work/raise kids or both.

No man can have two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.

What Jesus said about God and money is true about family and career. With few exceptions, it is impossible to have two parents be devoted to a full-time career and raise the kids. Either they will neglect the kids to advance their careers or they will neglect their careers to raise the kids. That's not to say that a mother can't have a job, but consider this. Not once in my entire life did I go home from school to an empty house. While my father dove headfirst into his career while setting aside time for the family, my mother dove headfirst into raising my sister and me while setting aside time for a teaching career. As a result, I am a well adjusted adult who is capable of both normal social interaction and independance. On the other hand, my dad grew up being raised by a career agricultural official and a career nurse. Despite how much they love him, they were hardly ever around back then. As a result, my dad is rather needy and calls my mom 3+ times a day when he's not at home. Now, I'm sure you know plenty of "I'll have you know" people who will tell you they grew up just fine with two career parents. Yeah, it's happened, but the odds are slim and I'd rather not leave the well-being of my kids to a roll of the dice.

--I question your second point, because I am not sure how you think men and women should act sexually. I believe that people should behave in a responsibe way (one partner at a time, use protection, relationships) and respect themselves. I believe there is no excuse for not acting this way--regardless of gender.

It's not how they should act, it's how they DO act. Men have a far more primal sexual drive than women. We're hormonal. We get horny at the drop of a hat. We think about sex hundreds of times a day. Therefore, men who do not have proper control over their loins are little better than sexual predators, just looking for the next sweet thing to talk into bed. Women are far more reserved and tend to get more emotional, rather than just hormonal, about sex. They like sex as part of a lasting relationship. Now, the proper way to do things sexually is to behave more like a woman and keep sex refined to marriage, but what feminism has been teaching is that the women that do think that way need to just sink to the level of the hormonal guys and have primal, meaningless sex for no other reason than just to feel good.