Respect For Members Posts Threads Staff & USMB as a Forum

[IlarMeilyr]

On the list of relatively new threads, two by Dante are interesting -- juxtaposed as they are.

A flame thread by Dante about Marty :: a thread by Dante about respect for fellow members.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

Respect For Members Posts Threads Staff & USMB as a Forum

after a few attempts to keep a thread hijack and flame free early on in the thread, I posted this to some:
"When early on in a thread, the OP asks you to please don't hijack or take a thread off topic, why is it so difficult for you to be respectful?"

Of course most of us love to play and we sometimes purposefully and inadvertently take threads off topic and flame in them. But when a thread is new and the OP asks to keep it on topic why not agree to? Any thread can be taken into the Rubber Room, but if you respect the forum or members, why keep doing it?

There are places to do this stuff. There was an attempt at the Bull Ring to have a place where one on one debates could transpire. People had a difficult time with it. I personally entered into somebody else's debate and realized it later and stayed out of it.

Just wondering why some would rather derail a thread or get staff involved when it is so much easier (in threads not designed to flame or on subjects that are emotional and in the news), to just walk away from flaming and off topic when asked to do so by other members?

who cares? 90% of the posters who post here are idiots unworthy of even being allowed an opinion.

Seriously,90% of the people who post here should be told to shut up and we adults will tell them how things are going to be.

So, when a thread gets derailed, who cares, it's not like anyone is missing any insightful discussion.

Dear SmarterThanTheAverageBear:

Actually 90% is a rather high estimate, leaving 10% in the productive range.
I find the areas of key points of agreement as low as 2% or 1%.

But those are the most important, and outweigh the other 98-99% that is useless tripe.

SmarterTTABear, how I treat this is different:
Instead of trying to find the 1-2% "of the people" and ignoring the other 98-99% of the group,

I try to find the *1-2% WITHIN EACH PERSON* that is like finding gold or a diamond
and don't worry about the other 98% in each person that I don't relate to.
Who knows, maybe that part works for someone else.

What is trash to one person is a treasure to others.

So I just focus on what I can relate to, and agree on with EACH PERSON,
and make the most of that 1% that is invaluable, priceless and well worth digging for.

The best part, is the harder work it takes to uncover and focus on those one or two points,
the greater the rewards and benefits.

As hard as it is for Dante and me to dig through all our ways that don't align and miss the mark,
when we DO find where we align, that is TRULY powerful. I need to find that with Dante
and with each person on here. We can change the world by what we can work out.

The rest, you're right, is garbage. But, no reason to toss out whole chunks of coal
when there are diamonds inside. Pearls are even more precious the more oysters you have to shuck through to find the
really rare ones that shine above the rest.

I hear what youre saying, but for me when a person has repeatedly, repeatedly proven that they not only don't care about facts, but are willing to LIE to "argue" their opinion, I have no use for such person. Yes, indeed I have some people on ignore who occasionally post things worth reading , but I don't care, their lies and dishonest have driven me to not wanting to read anything of theirs.

 

[emilynghiem]

You are attempting to be rational in a Dainty thread, which is like trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Ok, Marty, that was funny. !!!

Only somebody as brain dead as martybegan would consider trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Dear Statistikhengst, martybegan, Dante:
1. Yes, I found the intellectual humor in martybegan's comment to show he has more brains to work with
than he is using productively.
2. No, I disagree and find Dante to be exceptionally intelligent, and that is the reason he struggles so much.
Because he can discern and objectify points "by the literal letter"
that other people "run together emotionally" by the "spirit" of what they mean,
we talk past each other. He can pick things apart, where they don't. To them it means the same thing,
when he can see they are running things together that are DIFFERENT to him.

This must be extremely frustrating, to be surrounded by seeming "idiots" who then turn around
and blame HIM as the "Mindless Aardvark"?

If anything, Dante thinks TOO much.

Like saying hey, the issue of abortion rights is different from issues of gun rights
because guns are different from abortion. Well, duh!

So what is distinct in Dante's mind, to others is not that big of deal to make a "generalization" politically.

Stat and Marty, as frustrated and unable to understand Dante as you may be,
just know he must be just as baffled at why other people seem to be the mindless ones.

Clearly, from your remarks back and forth, you are all high intelligent and discerning.

But since you don't understand why the other can't see what you see,
you think each other is being idiotic. You are all more intelligent than that.

If you brought out each other's intellect, instead of insulting it,
maybe we'd get somewhere on this board. Ya think?

Take care, Gentlemen, and please have a much more
productive New Year as you are all quite capable of!

 

[emilynghiem]

I hear what youre saying, but for me when a person has repeatedly, repeatedly proven that they not only don't care about facts, but are willing to LIE to "argue" their opinion, I have no use for such person. Yes, indeed I have some people on ignore who occasionally post things worth reading , but I don't care, their lies and dishonest have driven me to not wanting to read anything of theirs.

Yes. Just know the feeling is mutual, where both sides end up feeling the other "doesn't care" and is only interested in defending their agenda, regardless of facts and objections.

The walls and barriers are mutual.

That's why this goes in endless circles, where both are convinced the other side doesn't care for the truth.

The only way out for both sides to drop this "nobody cares, nobody will agree to change" business.
And start agreeing to care and agreeing to change on a deeper level,
and quit saying it's the "other people" who are causing this problem.

When people see that we DO care, and we ARE trying to listen and trying to include what they are objecting to,
then they will try harder, too.

If they think we don't care, that's why they come across the same way, as giving up on us and "not caring."
It's a vicious cycle, but once we decide to break it, it's gone.

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

On the list of relatively new threads, two by Dante are interesting -- juxtaposed as they are.

A flame thread by Dante about Marty :: a thread by Dante about respect for fellow members.

When Marty enters a thread Who knows?

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

Respect For Members Posts Threads Staff & USMB as a Forum

after a few attempts to keep a thread hijack and flame free early on in the thread, I posted this to some:
"When early on in a thread, the OP asks you to please don't hijack or take a thread off topic, why is it so difficult for you to be respectful?"

Of course most of us love to play and we sometimes purposefully and inadvertently take threads off topic and flame in them. But when a thread is new and the OP asks to keep it on topic why not agree to? Any thread can be taken into the Rubber Room, but if you respect the forum or members, why keep doing it?

There are places to do this stuff. There was an attempt at the Bull Ring to have a place where one on one debates could transpire. People had a difficult time with it. I personally entered into somebody else's debate and realized it later and stayed out of it.

Just wondering why some would rather derail a thread or get staff involved when it is so much easier (in threads not designed to flame or on subjects that are emotional and in the news), to just walk away from flaming and off topic when asked to do so by other members?

Dear Dante: For extreme cases, I've had to learn the art of juggling.
How to play with the banter back at the person, while taking turns keeping addressing the topic.
If I'm lucky, I can do both at the same time, play around back, but still answer and address the issues!

At worst, the msg and post may ping pong, and some go off topic and then jump back on.

The real test of patience is like reverse psychology.
Don't let it bother you, and then it's no fun.

I think you can have 2-3 convo going on on the same thread. it's harder to follow
but if you include people, they tend to back off instead of pushing harder.

So I use reverse pscyhology
and consider it a form of "ZEN conversation" of trying to answer koan riddles
int he middle of the topic convo, and still try to relate at least SOME of the banter to the comments that are relevant.

It's like an exercise in Improv Comedy
Where the audience throws random cues or elements at the players on stage,
and you have to use them while telling your story and still try to make a cohesive storyline.

Honestly Dante, that is the most I can do with some of these off topic remarks
that creep in. Try to incorporate them into the convo and "connect anyway" while keeping the topic intact.

It's a real intellectual challenge, but I find it dilutes or diffuses the need to distract.
if people are trying to throw you off, and you keep including them anyway, then they are forced to stay on topic.

That's what I try to do, and it can lead to some fun interesting interactions and comments
that happen to work out anyway. And I get to know some of these people and how to engage them constructively,
so it reduces the problems as we go.

Em., it doesn't really bother me. It's just that I wonder why some people like martybegan are so consistently lonely and frustrated with life. Do they lose a loved one and then become bitter and angry? Were they showed no respect at all as children or later in life? Did they ever learn to play well with the other children? Maybe their parents failed miserably, we'll never know. But hey, it's a free country. I can wonder

Another person who doesn't get the whole "internet persona vs. real persona" thing.

Dainty has a sads.....awwwwwww.

IlarMeilyr

here is where the thread starts to derp-volve

derp

 

[martybegan]

On the list of relatively new threads, two by Dante are interesting -- juxtaposed as they are.

A flame thread by Dante about Marty :: a thread by Dante about respect for fellow members.

When Marty enters a thread Who knows?

We all know what happens when Dainty enters a thread, and it ain't pretty.

Dainty is a quantum singularity of stupid.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

I hear what youre saying, but for me when a person has repeatedly, repeatedly proven that they not only don't care about facts, but are willing to LIE to "argue" their opinion, I have no use for such person. Yes, indeed I have some people on ignore who occasionally post things worth reading , but I don't care, their lies and dishonest have driven me to not wanting to read anything of theirs.

Yes. Just know the feeling is mutual, where both sides end up feeling the other "doesn't care" and is only interested in defending their agenda, regardless of facts and objections.

The walls and barriers are mutual.

That's why this goes in endless circles, where both are convinced the other side doesn't care for the truth.

The only way out for both sides to drop this "nobody cares, nobody will agree to change" business.
And start agreeing to care and agreeing to change on a deeper level,
and quit saying it's the "other people" who are causing this problem.

When people see that we DO care, and we ARE trying to listen and trying to include what they are objecting to,
then they will try harder, too.

If they think we don't care, that's why they come across the same way, as giving up on us and "not caring."
It's a vicious cycle, but once we decide to break it, it's gone.

why on Earth would you even care to seem like you cared what lying morons are saying? If a person comes at me with facts but a different opinion that is fine, but I don't even abide people who ignore facts yet have the same opinion as me.

People who ignore facts and lie about EVERYTHING simply aren't worth the effort, and should be ignored.

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

I guess trying to keep the flames in the Flame Zone is just too much for some people.

 

[martybegan]

You are attempting to be rational in a Dainty thread, which is like trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Ok, Marty, that was funny. !!!

Only somebody as brain dead as martybegan would consider trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Dear Statistikhengst, martybegan, Dante:
1. Yes, I found the intellectual humor in martybegan's comment to show he has more brains to work with
than he is using productively.
2. No, I disagree and find Dante to be exceptionally intelligent, and that is the reason he struggles so much.
Because he can discern and objectify points "by the literal letter"
that other people "run together emotionally" by the "spirit" of what they mean,
we talk past each other. He can pick things apart, where they don't. To them it means the same thing,
when he can see they are running things together that are DIFFERENT to him.

This must be extremely frustrating, to be surrounded by seeming "idiots" who then turn around
and blame HIM as the "Mindless Aardvark"?

If anything, Dante thinks TOO much.

Like saying hey, the issue of abortion rights is different from issues of gun rights
because guns are different from abortion. Well, duh!

So what is distinct in Dante's mind, to others is not that big of deal to make a "generalization" politically.

Stat and Marty, as frustrated and unable to understand Dante as you may be,
just know he must be just as baffled at why other people seem to be the mindless ones.

Clearly, from your remarks back and forth, you are all high intelligent and discerning.

But since you don't understand why the other can't see what you see,
you think each other is being idiotic. You are all more intelligent than that.

If you brought out each other's intellect, instead of insulting it,
maybe we'd get somewhere on this board. Ya think?

Take care, Gentlemen, and please have a much more
productive New Year as you are all quite capable of!

1. I tailor my responses to the overall level of the post. Things like this deserve a combination of scorn and derision only.

2. Lol. There is a difference between BEING smart and THINKING one is smart, and Dainty is in the latter category.

 

[emilynghiem]

On the list of relatively new threads, two by Dante are interesting -- juxtaposed as they are.

A flame thread by Dante about Marty :: a thread by Dante about respect for fellow members.

I must applaud Dante for trying to bring out this issue and target it, even in such two-sided fashion.
I find he is driven by conscience, and is not content to let contradictions just sit there unchecked and unaddressed.
Like many others here, I don't think he will stop until resolution is reached.
This is a good thing, that can lead to realizations to benefit everyone here.

If we can resolve this, many other issues can be resolved in turn by letting go of the same nonsense.

I am very hopeful with the intelligence and conscientiousness I see driving members here, that the very
people fighting each other can turn that focus toward resolving the deeper issues of projection going on
that are getting in the way of productive, insightful discussion. We are all projecting, but don't forgive all people or
groups equally, so we start competing to make some right and others wrong. Instead of making all things right.

We'd all like to be treated and respected equally, but don't trust or expect this of others and don't follow it ourselves.
We give up and start jumping on people who jump on us, and around and around it goes.

Just misdirected energy and intelligence that could be used to change the entire paradigm
if we put those minds to good use on points where we agree things need to change.

Incredible powerful minds at work here, that shouldn't go to waste.
but I have hope the higher intelligence and conscience will win out
over the emotional drama.

 

[emilynghiem]

You are attempting to be rational in a Dainty thread, which is like trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Ok, Marty, that was funny. !!!

Only somebody as brain dead as martybegan would consider trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Dear Statistikhengst, martybegan, Dante:
1. Yes, I found the intellectual humor in martybegan's comment to show he has more brains to work with
than he is using productively.
2. No, I disagree and find Dante to be exceptionally intelligent, and that is the reason he struggles so much.
Because he can discern and objectify points "by the literal letter"
that other people "run together emotionally" by the "spirit" of what they mean,
we talk past each other. He can pick things apart, where they don't. To them it means the same thing,
when he can see they are running things together that are DIFFERENT to him.

This must be extremely frustrating, to be surrounded by seeming "idiots" who then turn around
and blame HIM as the "Mindless Aardvark"?

If anything, Dante thinks TOO much.

Like saying hey, the issue of abortion rights is different from issues of gun rights
because guns are different from abortion. Well, duh!

So what is distinct in Dante's mind, to others is not that big of deal to make a "generalization" politically.

Stat and Marty, as frustrated and unable to understand Dante as you may be,
just know he must be just as baffled at why other people seem to be the mindless ones.

Clearly, from your remarks back and forth, you are all high intelligent and discerning.

But since you don't understand why the other can't see what you see,
you think each other is being idiotic. You are all more intelligent than that.

If you brought out each other's intellect, instead of insulting it,
maybe we'd get somewhere on this board. Ya think?

Take care, Gentlemen, and please have a much more
productive New Year as you are all quite capable of!

1. I tailor my responses to the overall level of the post. Things like this deserve a combination of scorn and derision only.

2. Lol. There is a difference between BEING smart and THINKING one is smart, and Dainty is in the latter category.

You are both plenty smart.
But just too busy insulting each other's intelligence to acknowledge it.

As I said, Dante's worst fault is OVER intellectualizing and overthinking issues
to the point he can lose the Spirit of the law or argument.

Even to make mistakes like that takes high intelligence.
His greatest strength can become his worst fault.

Maybe his personal ego gets mixed in there, but that doesn't mean he's not intelligent
even if his personal pride and disdain for others gets in the way, of bringing out the same intelligence in others.

He is trying hard with me, because I'm trying with him.
If others tried maybe he would try harder, instead of feeling he is wasting his time with those who insult him.

You have been underestimated the same way.
It's common on these boards, to get caught in the banter and backbiting
and lose the opportunity to bring out the better side we all have behind that.

Happens to the best of us. We all have greater potential than what we show on here.

 

[emilynghiem]

I guess trying to keep the flames in the Flame Zone is just too much for some people.

Good job, Dante. You may even exceed your intended goal.
We could use these threads to draw out why people are flaming
each other, and reduce or extinguish the need to do that at all.

We could all come away as better, respectful people
if we actually finish this FU conversation intelligently.

 

[SmarterThanTheAverageBear]

You are attempting to be rational in a Dainty thread, which is like trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Ok, Marty, that was funny. !!!

Only somebody as brain dead as martybegan would consider trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Dear Statistikhengst, martybegan, Dante:
1. Yes, I found the intellectual humor in martybegan's comment to show he has more brains to work with
than he is using productively.
2. No, I disagree and find Dante to be exceptionally intelligent, and that is the reason he struggles so much.
Because he can discern and objectify points "by the literal letter"
that other people "run together emotionally" by the "spirit" of what they mean,
we talk past each other. He can pick things apart, where they don't. To them it means the same thing,
when he can see they are running things together that are DIFFERENT to him.

This must be extremely frustrating, to be surrounded by seeming "idiots" who then turn around
and blame HIM as the "Mindless Aardvark"?

If anything, Dante thinks TOO much.

Like saying hey, the issue of abortion rights is different from issues of gun rights
because guns are different from abortion. Well, duh!

So what is distinct in Dante's mind, to others is not that big of deal to make a "generalization" politically.

Stat and Marty, as frustrated and unable to understand Dante as you may be,
just know he must be just as baffled at why other people seem to be the mindless ones.

Clearly, from your remarks back and forth, you are all high intelligent and discerning.

But since you don't understand why the other can't see what you see,
you think each other is being idiotic. You are all more intelligent than that.

If you brought out each other's intellect, instead of insulting it,
maybe we'd get somewhere on this board. Ya think?

Take care, Gentlemen, and please have a much more
productive New Year as you are all quite capable of!

1. I tailor my responses to the overall level of the post. Things like this deserve a combination of scorn and derision only.

2. Lol. There is a difference between BEING smart and THINKING one is smart, and Dainty is in the latter category.

You are both plenty smart.
But just too busy insulting each other's intelligence to acknowledge it.

As I said, Dante's worst fault is OVER intellectualizing and overthinking issues
to the point he can lose the Spirit of the law or argument.

Even to make mistakes like that takes high intelligence.
His greatest strength can become his worst fault.

Maybe his personal ego gets mixed in there, but that doesn't mean he's not intelligent
even if his personal pride and disdain for others gets in the way, of bringing out the same intelligence in others.

He is trying hard with me, because I'm trying with him.
If others tried maybe he would try harder, instead of feeling he is wasting his time with those who insult him.

You have been underestimated the same way.
It's common on these boards, to get caught in the banter and backbiting
and lose the opportunity to bring out the better side we all have behind that.

Happens to the best of us. We all have greater potential than what we show on here.

Dear, you severely overestimate the average orangutang who posts here

 

[emilynghiem]

duplicate

 

[emilynghiem]

Dear, you severely overestimate the average orangutang who posts here.

I believe in consensus.
People would have to agree they are coming across as an orangutang,
and by then, they'd change what's making them come across that way.

 

[emilynghiem]

duplicate sorry

 

[emilynghiem]

duplicate
either that or 100 monkeys are typing the same thing

 

[emilynghiem]

Respect For Members Posts Threads Staff & USMB as a Forum

after a few attempts to keep a thread hijack and flame free early on in the thread, I posted this to some:
"When early on in a thread, the OP asks you to please don't hijack or take a thread off topic, why is it so difficult for you to be respectful?"

Of course most of us love to play and we sometimes purposefully and inadvertently take threads off topic and flame in them. But when a thread is new and the OP asks to keep it on topic why not agree to? Any thread can be taken into the Rubber Room, but if you respect the forum or members, why keep doing it?

There are places to do this stuff. There was an attempt at the Bull Ring to have a place where one on one debates could transpire. People had a difficult time with it. I personally entered into somebody else's debate and realized it later and stayed out of it.

Just wondering why some would rather derail a thread or get staff involved when it is so much easier (in threads not designed to flame or on subjects that are emotional and in the news), to just walk away from flaming and off topic when asked to do so by other members?

Dear Dante: For extreme cases, I've had to learn the art of juggling.
How to play with the banter back at the person, while taking turns keeping addressing the topic.
If I'm lucky, I can do both at the same time, play around back, but still answer and address the issues!

At worst, the msg and post may ping pong, and some go off topic and then jump back on.

The real test of patience is like reverse psychology.
Don't let it bother you, and then it's no fun.

I think you can have 2-3 convo going on on the same thread. it's harder to follow
but if you include people, they tend to back off instead of pushing harder.

So I use reverse pscyhology
and consider it a form of "ZEN conversation" of trying to answer koan riddles
int he middle of the topic convo, and still try to relate at least SOME of the banter to the comments that are relevant.

It's like an exercise in Improv Comedy
Where the audience throws random cues or elements at the players on stage,
and you have to use them while telling your story and still try to make a cohesive storyline.

Honestly Dante, that is the most I can do with some of these off topic remarks
that creep in. Try to incorporate them into the convo and "connect anyway" while keeping the topic intact.

It's a real intellectual challenge, but I find it dilutes or diffuses the need to distract.
if people are trying to throw you off, and you keep including them anyway, then they are forced to stay on topic.

That's what I try to do, and it can lead to some fun interesting interactions and comments
that happen to work out anyway. And I get to know some of these people and how to engage them constructively,
so it reduces the problems as we go.

Em., it doesn't really bother me. It's just that I wonder why some people like martybegan are so consistently lonely and frustrated with life. Do they lose a loved one and then become bitter and angry? Were they showed no respect at all as children or later in life? Did they ever learn to play well with the other children? Maybe their parents failed miserably, we'll never know. But hey, it's a free country. I can wonder

Another person who doesn't get the whole "internet persona vs. real persona" thing.

Dainty has a sads.....awwwwwww.

IlarMeilyr

here is where the thread starts to derp-volve

derp

Dear Dante: Whatever you do, don't stoop to their level, fall into the same traps and take the bait.
Rise above, and challenge them to rise to YOUR level.

This is equally a challenge for you as it is for them. Rise and shine! Don't drag each other down in the mud.
You are equally capable and responsible for the direction you go with your part of the conversation.

You and I have just as much to learn on how to handle these things better.
It's equally on us.

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

Ok, Marty, that was funny. !!!

Only somebody as brain dead as martybegan would consider trying to teach string theory to a brain damaged aardvark.

Dear Statistikhengst, martybegan, Dante:
1. Yes, I found the intellectual humor in martybegan's comment to show he has more brains to work with
than he is using productively.
2. No, I disagree and find Dante to be exceptionally intelligent, and that is the reason he struggles so much.
Because he can discern and objectify points "by the literal letter"
that other people "run together emotionally" by the "spirit" of what they mean,
we talk past each other. He can pick things apart, where they don't. To them it means the same thing,
when he can see they are running things together that are DIFFERENT to him.

This must be extremely frustrating, to be surrounded by seeming "idiots" who then turn around
and blame HIM as the "Mindless Aardvark"?

If anything, Dante thinks TOO much.

Like saying hey, the issue of abortion rights is different from issues of gun rights
because guns are different from abortion. Well, duh!

So what is distinct in Dante's mind, to others is not that big of deal to make a "generalization" politically.

Stat and Marty, as frustrated and unable to understand Dante as you may be,
just know he must be just as baffled at why other people seem to be the mindless ones.

Clearly, from your remarks back and forth, you are all high intelligent and discerning.

But since you don't understand why the other can't see what you see,
you think each other is being idiotic. You are all more intelligent than that.

If you brought out each other's intellect, instead of insulting it,
maybe we'd get somewhere on this board. Ya think?

Take care, Gentlemen, and please have a much more
productive New Year as you are all quite capable of!

1. I tailor my responses to the overall level of the post. Things like this deserve a combination of scorn and derision only.

2. Lol. There is a difference between BEING smart and THINKING one is smart, and Dainty is in the latter category.

You are both plenty smart.
But just too busy insulting each other's intelligence to acknowledge it.

As I said, Dante's worst fault is OVER intellectualizing and overthinking issues
to the point he can lose the Spirit of the law or argument.

Even to make mistakes like that takes high intelligence.
His greatest strength can become his worst fault.

Maybe his personal ego gets mixed in there, but that doesn't mean he's not intelligent
even if his personal pride and disdain for others gets in the way, of bringing out the same intelligence in others.

He is trying hard with me, because I'm trying with him.
If others tried maybe he would try harder, instead of feeling he is wasting his time with those who insult him.

You have been underestimated the same way.
It's common on these boards, to get caught in the banter and backbiting
and lose the opportunity to bring out the better side we all have behind that.

Happens to the best of us. We all have greater potential than what we show on here.

Dear, you severely overestimate the average orangutang who posts here

you post and attitude?
now people know why they can't have nice things around here

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

Respect For Members Posts Threads Staff & USMB as a Forum

after a few attempts to keep a thread hijack and flame free early on in the thread, I posted this to some:
"When early on in a thread, the OP asks you to please don't hijack or take a thread off topic, why is it so difficult for you to be respectful?"

Of course most of us love to play and we sometimes purposefully and inadvertently take threads off topic and flame in them. But when a thread is new and the OP asks to keep it on topic why not agree to? Any thread can be taken into the Rubber Room, but if you respect the forum or members, why keep doing it?

There are places to do this stuff. There was an attempt at the Bull Ring to have a place where one on one debates could transpire. People had a difficult time with it. I personally entered into somebody else's debate and realized it later and stayed out of it.

Just wondering why some would rather derail a thread or get staff involved when it is so much easier (in threads not designed to flame or on subjects that are emotional and in the news), to just walk away from flaming and off topic when asked to do so by other members?

Dear Dante: For extreme cases, I've had to learn the art of juggling.
How to play with the banter back at the person, while taking turns keeping addressing the topic.
If I'm lucky, I can do both at the same time, play around back, but still answer and address the issues!

At worst, the msg and post may ping pong, and some go off topic and then jump back on.

The real test of patience is like reverse psychology.
Don't let it bother you, and then it's no fun.

I think you can have 2-3 convo going on on the same thread. it's harder to follow
but if you include people, they tend to back off instead of pushing harder.

So I use reverse pscyhology
and consider it a form of "ZEN conversation" of trying to answer koan riddles
int he middle of the topic convo, and still try to relate at least SOME of the banter to the comments that are relevant.

It's like an exercise in Improv Comedy
Where the audience throws random cues or elements at the players on stage,
and you have to use them while telling your story and still try to make a cohesive storyline.

Honestly Dante, that is the most I can do with some of these off topic remarks
that creep in. Try to incorporate them into the convo and "connect anyway" while keeping the topic intact.

It's a real intellectual challenge, but I find it dilutes or diffuses the need to distract.
if people are trying to throw you off, and you keep including them anyway, then they are forced to stay on topic.

That's what I try to do, and it can lead to some fun interesting interactions and comments
that happen to work out anyway. And I get to know some of these people and how to engage them constructively,
so it reduces the problems as we go.

Em., it doesn't really bother me. It's just that I wonder why some people like martybegan are so consistently lonely and frustrated with life. Do they lose a loved one and then become bitter and angry? Were they showed no respect at all as children or later in life? Did they ever learn to play well with the other children? Maybe their parents failed miserably, we'll never know. But hey, it's a free country. I can wonder

Another person who doesn't get the whole "internet persona vs. real persona" thing.

Dainty has a sads.....awwwwwww.

IlarMeilyr

here is where the thread starts to derp-volve

derp

Dear Dante: Whatever you do, don't stoop to their level, fall into the same traps and take the bait.
Rise above, and challenge them to rise to YOUR level.

This is equally a challenge for you as it is for them. Rise and shine! Don't drag each other down in the mud.
You are equally capable and responsible for the direction you go with your part of the conversation.

You and I have just as much to learn on how to handle these things better.
It's equally on us.

 

[rdean]

Funny, when I say someone lied, I prove it. I explain the lie and add links to back up my claim.

When Right wingers call me a liar, they stop right there. They are such idiots, they believe simply by calling a name they've "proved it" and walk away with a fist pump and a quick "nailed it". And when I ask them to explain the lie, they say things like "everyone knows" and "no one likes you". And then I throw my head back and laugh long and hard.

 

[Unkotare]

whine-a-rama