Redneck Medical Terms

Discussion in 'Humor' started by dilloduck, Sep 28, 2006.

  1. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Redneck Medical Terms

    Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
    Bacteria...................Back door to cafeteria.
    Barium.....................What doctors do when patients die.
    Catscan..................Searching for Kitty.
    Cauterize................Made eye contact with her.
    Colic.......................A sheep dog.
    Coma.......................A punctuation mark.
    D&C........................Where Washington is.
    Dilate......................To live long.
    Enema.....................Not a friend.
    Fester.....................Quicker than someone else.
    Fibula......................A small lie.
    G.I.Series................World Series of military baseball.
    Hangnail..................What you hang your coat on.
    Impotent.................Distinguished, well known.
    Labor Pain..............Getting hurt at work.
    Medical Staff.........A Doctor's cane.
    Morbid....................A higher offer than I bid.
    Nitrates..................Cheaper than day rates.
    Node.......................I knew it.
    Outpatient.............A person who has fainted.
    Pap Smear...............A fatherhood test.
    Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
    Post Operative.......A letter carrier.
    Recovery Room......Place to do upholstery.
    Rectum..................Damn near killed him.
    Secretion...............Hiding something
    Seizure...................Roman emperor.
    Tablet....................A small table.
    Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the airport.
    Tumor....................More than one.
    Urine.....................Opposite of mine.
    Varicose.................Near by/close by.
     
  2. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    :D "node" & "Urine" :D

    dillo, do you know anyone who actually pronounces these words this way?
     
  3. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Heck ya---We have all kinds of talented linguists here in Texas !
     
  4. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    Same here.
     
  5. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    I love hearing these guys talk when I'm out in a small town for some reason. These old codgers are a hoot but good hearted as the day is long.
     
  6. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    Very good people!

    On the language.....I went hunting years ago with two Good ole Georgia boys.
    We all rode in the front of a pick-up on the way to the woods. During this 20 min ride these two were having an ongoing conversation. Well, I swear to you, I didn't understand one word. I can now, but it's really almost a totally foreign language. Their way of life is simple too, but they're some of the happiest people I've ever known, I love it.:thup:
     

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