JimBowie1958
Old Fogey
- Sep 25, 2011
- 63,590
- 16,753
- 2,220
My cousin is a really sharp guy, but maybe a little too sharp. Often times he sees questions about things that normal people just dont connect together.
Thank God.
Here are some of his most interesting questions:
Do secure websites have a better self-esteem than insecure websites?
I have a friend who just went through a break up and then a break down...why didn't they cancel each other out?
Am I the only one feeling solipsistic?
If a person is addicted to cold turkey, is it possible for this person to quit cold turkey cold turkey?
Is mashed the plasma state of potatos?
At what temperature should I keep Cold Medicine?
At what age would it be safe to tell my pets that they're adopted?
If a dog breaks a mirror, does it have one human year of bad luck?
People I know that have used baby changing tables end up with the same baby...is there something wrong with the table they used?
Is it safe to look directly into a picture of the sun?
Someone just said that I am more likely to be mugged in New York than in Ball Ground, Georgia. How is that possible when I am not in New York?
If I have a midlife crisis at 60 or 65, does that mean I will live to be 120 or 130?
A friend stepped on a crack and his mother is okay. Is he adopted?
I've heard that clouds are made up of water vapor...is that bad for my data?
Do placebos have side effects? And, if they do, are they real?
What happens to a doctor who eats an apple?
Can someone play an air guitar on the moon?
Will I get more rest if I dream I am sleeping?
If most professors don't allow make-up exams, how does anyone graduate from cosmetology school?
If nothing is faster than light, how did dark get there first?
If light travels at 186,000 miles per second, at what speed does heavy travel?
This is the only actual joke i have heard him ever tell.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, an Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, an Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, an Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a very fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "You can't come in here without a Thai."
Thank God.
Here are some of his most interesting questions:
Do secure websites have a better self-esteem than insecure websites?
I have a friend who just went through a break up and then a break down...why didn't they cancel each other out?
Am I the only one feeling solipsistic?
If a person is addicted to cold turkey, is it possible for this person to quit cold turkey cold turkey?
Is mashed the plasma state of potatos?
At what temperature should I keep Cold Medicine?
At what age would it be safe to tell my pets that they're adopted?
If a dog breaks a mirror, does it have one human year of bad luck?
People I know that have used baby changing tables end up with the same baby...is there something wrong with the table they used?
Is it safe to look directly into a picture of the sun?
Someone just said that I am more likely to be mugged in New York than in Ball Ground, Georgia. How is that possible when I am not in New York?
If I have a midlife crisis at 60 or 65, does that mean I will live to be 120 or 130?
A friend stepped on a crack and his mother is okay. Is he adopted?
I've heard that clouds are made up of water vapor...is that bad for my data?
Do placebos have side effects? And, if they do, are they real?
What happens to a doctor who eats an apple?
Can someone play an air guitar on the moon?
Will I get more rest if I dream I am sleeping?
If most professors don't allow make-up exams, how does anyone graduate from cosmetology school?
If nothing is faster than light, how did dark get there first?
If light travels at 186,000 miles per second, at what speed does heavy travel?
This is the only actual joke i have heard him ever tell.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, an Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, an Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, an Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a very fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "You can't come in here without a Thai."
