- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
Does TrumpUSA remind you of a choose-your-own adventure novel?
What do you think?
What would Thomas Nast say?
====
"As a super-terrorist group called Cobra unified various deadly terrorist groups around the globe including ISIS, the Trump Administration was looking to its secret team of paramilitary democracy-crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes' to dismantle this emerged anti-capitalism threat in the modern (21st Century) world! Cobra leaders were ruthless and wanted to inspect the levels of security in Americans before planning a carefully-coordinated strike on U.S. soil. What would become of this strange new terrorism-complicated world?"
"Citizens of TrumpUSA were interested in relishing the lifestyle conveniences of consumerism-culture (e.g., Burger King, eBay, Facebook, NASDAQ, etc.). Americans simply wanted to enjoy life. This sort of laisse-faire living is precisely what anti-capitalism terrorists wanted to devastate when they destroyed the commerce/traffic symbolic World Trade Center in NYC on 9/11. In other words, while American forces dealt with these terrorists, regular American civilians merely wanted to live out pleasurably democratic lives(!)."
"A member of the CIA stationed in a special new base in southern California sent the LA Times a strange color-pencil doodle of a fictional capitalism-adversarial characters simply named 'Satan the Clown.' This CIA agent in California, Ajay Satan, did not allude to his own surname but rather wanted to use 'Satan the Clown' to complement his political-cartoon/editorial about why American consumers sometimes used capitalism/consumerism to basically 'justify' lifestyle vanities. Ajay's superiors read his sardonic editorial in the LA Times and admonished the otherwise diligent CIA agent who was recruited after becoming a U.S. citizen (Ajay was originally from Algeria!)."
"Well, Ajay wasn't going to give up his rather valuable consumerism-gluttony proselytization in America and felt frustrated after being censored by his CIA superiors/officers. Ajay decided to take a break from all his austere U.S. government intelligence-work and went to a shopping mall in LA where he took photos of himself with his handy-dandy iPhone while trying on stylish leather-jackets (to celebrate consumerism-convenience!). That's where/when Ajay met a beautiful blonde American accountant named Shelbye who was also shopping at the very same mall that day. Ajay decided he'd choreograph a special patriotic 'anti-terrorism grift' with Shelbye's help. This had the potential to shape up into an intriguing 'folk-story'."
"Ajay knew that the LA Art Museum featured a new exhibit that month presenting installation-works of Crown Jewels dioramas/models. Ajay decided he'd loot some of the jewelry-sculptures with Shelbye's help. Ajay and Shelbye (who were now dating!) walked into the museum with hidden tranquilizer darts and proceeded to sedate the few guests/visitors present that day (at 9 a.m.!) in the Crown Jewels installation-art exhibition room and the guards attending it. They then stole the jewelled items from 3 of the 7 prominent installation-works prominently placed."
"Ajay then sent an anonymous editorial to the LA Times featuring a photo of himself wearing a disguising plastic mask. In this new editorial, Ajay Satan wrote, 'Because the CIA might be displeased with my jewelry-art heist at the LA Art Museum (last week), I can't disclose my real name or whereabouts while simply telling the good people of southern California that capitalism-consciousness has reoriented Americans' perspectives on the spiritual value of social treasures (e.g., Crown Jewels); this suggests to me that anti-capitalism terrorists will prey upon our modern angst towards luxury-hypnosis(!).' Was Ajay right?"
"Well, Ajay's 'anonymous editorial' caught the attention from the two Hollywood super-celebs, Tom Hanks (star of Charlie Wilson's War) and Tom Cruise (star of Born on the 4th of July). Hanks/Cruise considered the spiritual weight of Ajay's anonymous editorial and decided to start a new anti-terrorism comics enterprise with their writer/artist friend William Gibson called Archangel Comics. Hanks/Cruise wanted a series of movie-adaptable patriotic comics stories about Americans mired in consumerism-gluttony and dealing with the anti-establishment terrorism of anti-American groups (e.g., Cobra!)."
"Soon, Woody Allen wanted to make a film-adapted story inspired by some of the patriotic/anti-terrorism stories published in Archangel Comics(!). Allen's film, starring Luke Wilson and Leo DiCaprio was about California jewel-thieves orchestrating incredible heists in the summer of 2019 as the G.I. Joes wrestled with the anti-capitalism forces of Cobra in Eastern Europe(!). The film, titled Gold Shield, won Best Picture, even though it was a light-hearted dramedy. Allen said in an interview, 'We should generate more stories in TrumpUSA about American superstition'."
"Because Allen's film got so much attention, the CIA decided to recruit a Hollywood movie-star to serve as a stalking agent who'd follow around agent Ajay Satan night-and-day to determine if he was behind the Crown Jewels art-heist that inspired comic book writers and film-makers. This 'celebrity agent' was to put an end to Ajay's brand of traffic-infused political grandstanding. After all, the CIA couldn't afford an agent (Ajay Satan) going off on his own and creating TrumpUSA hype while Cobra was creeping around Eastern Europe(!). This new CIA 'celebrity agent' would end Ajay's reign of 'politics-sarcasm'."
TRUMP: I like what Ajay Satan did, but he was too 'racy.'
CARTER: We can't afford hype, Mr. President...
TRUMP: I know that, Carter, but I was inspired by Ajay's antics!
CARTER: Yes, well he's a very clever agent working for us, you know.
TRUMP: He should marry that girl Shelbye...
CARTER: TrumpUSA seems to generate a few 'poets.'
TRUMP: That's the charm of capitalism ---- ornaments!
CARTER: I wonder what Cobra makes of Ajay Satan.
TRUMP: I imagine they think he's a 'romantic goose.'
CARTER: I wonder who stole that Crown Jewels art...
TRUMP: Haha, I doubt it was Ajay Satan!
CARTER: If it was, our agent tracking him will discover.
TRUMP: I don't think we should expel/punish Ajay, Carter.
CARTER: Yes, but he'll be reprimanded for his rogue 'patriotism.'
TRUMP: Besides, that Crown Jewels art was returned by an anonymous person.
CARTER: Hail to the Age of GQ(!).
TRUMP: I love GQ (and Captain America!).
====
What do you think?
What would Thomas Nast say?
====
"As a super-terrorist group called Cobra unified various deadly terrorist groups around the globe including ISIS, the Trump Administration was looking to its secret team of paramilitary democracy-crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes' to dismantle this emerged anti-capitalism threat in the modern (21st Century) world! Cobra leaders were ruthless and wanted to inspect the levels of security in Americans before planning a carefully-coordinated strike on U.S. soil. What would become of this strange new terrorism-complicated world?"
"Citizens of TrumpUSA were interested in relishing the lifestyle conveniences of consumerism-culture (e.g., Burger King, eBay, Facebook, NASDAQ, etc.). Americans simply wanted to enjoy life. This sort of laisse-faire living is precisely what anti-capitalism terrorists wanted to devastate when they destroyed the commerce/traffic symbolic World Trade Center in NYC on 9/11. In other words, while American forces dealt with these terrorists, regular American civilians merely wanted to live out pleasurably democratic lives(!)."
"A member of the CIA stationed in a special new base in southern California sent the LA Times a strange color-pencil doodle of a fictional capitalism-adversarial characters simply named 'Satan the Clown.' This CIA agent in California, Ajay Satan, did not allude to his own surname but rather wanted to use 'Satan the Clown' to complement his political-cartoon/editorial about why American consumers sometimes used capitalism/consumerism to basically 'justify' lifestyle vanities. Ajay's superiors read his sardonic editorial in the LA Times and admonished the otherwise diligent CIA agent who was recruited after becoming a U.S. citizen (Ajay was originally from Algeria!)."
"Well, Ajay wasn't going to give up his rather valuable consumerism-gluttony proselytization in America and felt frustrated after being censored by his CIA superiors/officers. Ajay decided to take a break from all his austere U.S. government intelligence-work and went to a shopping mall in LA where he took photos of himself with his handy-dandy iPhone while trying on stylish leather-jackets (to celebrate consumerism-convenience!). That's where/when Ajay met a beautiful blonde American accountant named Shelbye who was also shopping at the very same mall that day. Ajay decided he'd choreograph a special patriotic 'anti-terrorism grift' with Shelbye's help. This had the potential to shape up into an intriguing 'folk-story'."
"Ajay knew that the LA Art Museum featured a new exhibit that month presenting installation-works of Crown Jewels dioramas/models. Ajay decided he'd loot some of the jewelry-sculptures with Shelbye's help. Ajay and Shelbye (who were now dating!) walked into the museum with hidden tranquilizer darts and proceeded to sedate the few guests/visitors present that day (at 9 a.m.!) in the Crown Jewels installation-art exhibition room and the guards attending it. They then stole the jewelled items from 3 of the 7 prominent installation-works prominently placed."
"Ajay then sent an anonymous editorial to the LA Times featuring a photo of himself wearing a disguising plastic mask. In this new editorial, Ajay Satan wrote, 'Because the CIA might be displeased with my jewelry-art heist at the LA Art Museum (last week), I can't disclose my real name or whereabouts while simply telling the good people of southern California that capitalism-consciousness has reoriented Americans' perspectives on the spiritual value of social treasures (e.g., Crown Jewels); this suggests to me that anti-capitalism terrorists will prey upon our modern angst towards luxury-hypnosis(!).' Was Ajay right?"
"Well, Ajay's 'anonymous editorial' caught the attention from the two Hollywood super-celebs, Tom Hanks (star of Charlie Wilson's War) and Tom Cruise (star of Born on the 4th of July). Hanks/Cruise considered the spiritual weight of Ajay's anonymous editorial and decided to start a new anti-terrorism comics enterprise with their writer/artist friend William Gibson called Archangel Comics. Hanks/Cruise wanted a series of movie-adaptable patriotic comics stories about Americans mired in consumerism-gluttony and dealing with the anti-establishment terrorism of anti-American groups (e.g., Cobra!)."
"Soon, Woody Allen wanted to make a film-adapted story inspired by some of the patriotic/anti-terrorism stories published in Archangel Comics(!). Allen's film, starring Luke Wilson and Leo DiCaprio was about California jewel-thieves orchestrating incredible heists in the summer of 2019 as the G.I. Joes wrestled with the anti-capitalism forces of Cobra in Eastern Europe(!). The film, titled Gold Shield, won Best Picture, even though it was a light-hearted dramedy. Allen said in an interview, 'We should generate more stories in TrumpUSA about American superstition'."
"Because Allen's film got so much attention, the CIA decided to recruit a Hollywood movie-star to serve as a stalking agent who'd follow around agent Ajay Satan night-and-day to determine if he was behind the Crown Jewels art-heist that inspired comic book writers and film-makers. This 'celebrity agent' was to put an end to Ajay's brand of traffic-infused political grandstanding. After all, the CIA couldn't afford an agent (Ajay Satan) going off on his own and creating TrumpUSA hype while Cobra was creeping around Eastern Europe(!). This new CIA 'celebrity agent' would end Ajay's reign of 'politics-sarcasm'."
TRUMP: I like what Ajay Satan did, but he was too 'racy.'
CARTER: We can't afford hype, Mr. President...
TRUMP: I know that, Carter, but I was inspired by Ajay's antics!
CARTER: Yes, well he's a very clever agent working for us, you know.
TRUMP: He should marry that girl Shelbye...
CARTER: TrumpUSA seems to generate a few 'poets.'
TRUMP: That's the charm of capitalism ---- ornaments!
CARTER: I wonder what Cobra makes of Ajay Satan.
TRUMP: I imagine they think he's a 'romantic goose.'
CARTER: I wonder who stole that Crown Jewels art...
TRUMP: Haha, I doubt it was Ajay Satan!
CARTER: If it was, our agent tracking him will discover.
TRUMP: I don't think we should expel/punish Ajay, Carter.
CARTER: Yes, but he'll be reprimanded for his rogue 'patriotism.'
TRUMP: Besides, that Crown Jewels art was returned by an anonymous person.
CARTER: Hail to the Age of GQ(!).
TRUMP: I love GQ (and Captain America!).
====
