Poltical Correctness has gone too far...

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by -Cp, Jun 14, 2006.

  1. -Cp
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    -Cp Senior Member

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    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
    Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer
    be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
    You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
    And furthermore..


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


    1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
    2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
    APPRECIATIVE."
    3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
    4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
    INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
    5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
    COMPANION."
    6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
    7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
    INCONVENIENCED."
    8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
    9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
    10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
    11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
    SUPERIOR."
    12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."



    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
    STORAGE FACILITY."
    2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
    3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
    4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
    5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL
    DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
    6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
    HORIZONTAL."
    7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
    "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
    8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
    9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
    10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
    11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -
    It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
     
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  2. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    is this a real article? I only ask because Larry the Cable Guy coined the term "Appalachian Americans" as a part of a joke...
     

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